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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29623665">Purely Coincidental (Levi x Reader)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthZannah/pseuds/DarthZannah'>DarthZannah</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action &amp; Romance, Angst, But is Better at Feelings Than Reader, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Development, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I like pain, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Levi in Love (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Original Character Death(s), Pining Levi Ackerman, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Snarky Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Socially Awkward Reader, Strong Female Reader - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, The Underground (Shingeki no Kyojin), Time Skips, Tragic Romance, Underground Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Underground Reader, but has a lot of issues, eventual mutual pining, like really slow burn, reader is bad at feelings, reader is blunt, survey corps, this is going to be a long story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:13:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>72,916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29623665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthZannah/pseuds/DarthZannah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(F/N) was born and abandoned in the Underground with no one to help her but herself. As she grows older and saves the money she needs to escape to the ground up above, she decides she wants to bring meaning to her life by joining the Survey Corps. Never would she have imagined she would be reunited with a certain someone from the past. A certain someone she didn’t necessarily leave on good terms...someone she thought she left behind in that Hell.</p><p>***This was originally posted on my Quotev account, and now I am posting on here as well! New chapters every Friday!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>226</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Thoughts and Explainations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thoughts and Explainations</p><p> </p><p>***Disclaimer: I do not claim to be the creator of Attack on Titan, nor am I claiming to own the characters and main plot points made by Hajime Isayama. I only claim the characters I added and the additional storytelling I added to the plot.***</p><p>Hello there!</p><p>Right before you read my work I just want to pop in and explain a few decisions I made regarding characters’ ages and some complaints I have regarding these decisions.</p><p>Something that has annoyed me most about some Levi x Reader fanfictions is the immense age gap between the reader and Levi. To me it is highly inappropriate to have a romantic relationship between a 31 to 32 year old man and an underage reader. Granted they are not as bad as some stories where Erwin is putting the moves on an underage reader, and he’s most likely in his early 40’s. This comes off, to me, immensely pediophilic and not to mention it gives Erwin a creepy personality when he never gave off that type of attitude to me in the anime, nor whilst reading the manga. So, by the year 850, I decided to go by Isayama’s vague age description of Levi and made him 31. This makes him 25 when he is forced to join the Survey Corps.</p><p>Now, due to Levi’s age I made the reader’s age 26 in the year 850. This makes their ages only a five year difference and the reader is not underage when you both are enlisted in the Survey Corps the same year in 844. As far as I gathered from my research, it seems that the ages of the trainees in the Training Corps range from 12 years old to the early twenties.</p><p>So if you haven’t guessed that means that the reader will be graduating the Training Corps with Hange and Mobilt. I made Hange the age of 22 by the year 844 and decided to make Moblit the same age as you.</p><p>I also noticed that Isayama prefers Hange to be referred to in a gender neutral role, so I decided to respect that in this story.</p><p>Also, there will be swearing and various mature content. They’re in the army, what do you expect?! So far I do not plan on writing smut/limes/lemons. There will be mature content in the much later chapters, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to write “the dirty” myself, but if y’all demand it when the time comes...I’ll think about it, but no promises.</p><p>I believe that is all I had to say about the ages, and if you read this whole introduction- thanks! Hopefully I cleared things before reading this story, and if you have questions, always feel free to ask!</p><p>Britanie</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Underground Part One: Year 831</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As long as you could remember you were alone. You don’t remember a mother’s calming embrace, nor were you carried by a father’s strong grasp. You never had a grandmother pinch your cheeks and give you an extra sweet after dinner. </p><p> </p><p>The earliest memory you had was clouded, but you always liked to believe that the shapes you saw were hands reaching out to carry you. However, as much as you wanted to believe that you knew it wasn't true. For you were in the Underground, where it was far too common for children like you to be left to die, so your parents wouldn’t have to have another mouth to feed.</p><p> </p><p>You were honestly shocked that you had made it to the age of seven. Purely surviving on trash scraps and stealing food from bystanders walking among the city. </p><p> </p><p>You learned from an early age about the rising costs of the staircase to the world above and ever since the age of five you saved every coin you got your grimy hands on. The stealing and excavating seemed to be working as you have yet to spend a single penny from your growing stash. </p><p> </p><p>At the mere age of seven, however you started to realise that you needed to start doing a lot more work to earn more money. </p><p> </p><p>You started to learn about the walls that surrounded the above world and how they protected us from monsters called Titans. Apparently, they were large humanoid creatures that thirsted only for human flesh. Granted, these stories did scare the shit out of you, but you also heard of these daring scouts that ventured outside the walls to kill the Titans, and risked their lives for us to one day gain our world back. Nothing like the lazy ass MP’s that hid behind beers and their inability to get shit done.</p><p> </p><p>Just those stories gave you a fire in your bright (e/c) eyes, and you knew you wanted nothing more than to fight for a cause like that. Which is why it became apparent that you were nowhere near being close to the amount you needed to climb the staircase and gain residence in the walls.</p><p> </p><p>So, on this hotter than hell day, you decided to start looking for jobs amongst various acquaintances you had made walking through the square over the years. Your small frame walked the streets like a person well beyond your years. You learned a long time ago that being timid and weak was not an option if you wanted to survive in the Underground, and it sure as hell won’t help if you want to make it to the top either. </p><p> </p><p>You had to push all morality aside to live in this hell, and curse anyone that even tried to get in your way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Underground Part Two: Year 839</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The first time you were ever raped was when you were ten. You don’t remember much of it because you were knocked cold on your way home to your slowly rotting wooden shack. You remember someone pushing you into a nearby alley and then everything went black. You woke in the alley in ripped clothing and in excruciating pain. You remember frantically running home trying to keep your clothes on. When you ran through the door you fell on my straw bed sobbing. You felt utterly useless and defeated and weak. You wished you had seen their face so you can find them and kill them.</p><p> </p><p>The second time was when you were thirteen. This time it was three men and they made you stay awake, but they showed their faces to you. You recognized them. They worked in the gang that dominated the area your shack sat in the city. You knew where they hung out. Two days later you had hunted them down.</p><p> </p><p>They were sitting outside an abandoned apartment building laughing about something. You couldn’t help but want to skin those smiles off and display it back at them like a prize. You sauntered over trying to look nonchalant. It worked because they started following you. You turned a corner quick to make them think they got you trapped, but as soon as the first fat bastard turned the corner you shot him right between the eyeballs with your shotgun. As expected the two other pigs started rushing over to grab you but you were prepared. You grabbed a knife you found and sharpened a few hours ago from your back pocket and ran straight to the first man and stabbed him in the throat. The look of his shocked face was pleasing to your eyes. The next one was the smallest of the group. He tried to tackle you but didn’t realise how strong you were. You flipped him over your body and pressed him down to the ground, where you immediately slit his throat. Not until you saw him gurgling in his own blood did you feel triumph. </p><p> </p><p>You picked up your shotgun, placing it back on your back attached to the strap there, and wiped the blood off your knife on the last man's clothes. You took one last look at the men, and smirked, then started walking home. The sheer memory brought a smile to your lips now. You are now fifteen and not a man has dared touch you again. </p><p> </p><p>You were rinsing your body and hair off by the sink with a washcloth. You had just finished your work for the night and were cleaning up. You wished for a real bath because you hated the way the air felt on your skin. You could scrub your body bald and you still wouldn’t feel clean enough. You were getting sick of the shack you have been living in since you were six, and longed for the day to be out of this hell. You were almost to the point of being able to afford to climb the stairs and claim you citizenship. You estimated that in a year and a half you would have enough for the move.</p><p> </p><p>You wanted to stay optimistic, but jobs have slowed down a bit due to some Underground kids using 3DMGear that they stole from the Military Police to do the jobs. You saw them once and a while some nights and it pissed you off. </p><p> </p><p>Of course you thought of stealing that gear from M.P.s before, but you worked alone. You didn’t have back up if you needed it. Plus, you didn’t want to have to spend months trying to learn to use it when you wanted to leave as soon as possible. </p><p> </p><p>They weren’t kids, though. You figured they were older than you, but the two boys still pissed you off nonetheless. </p><p> </p><p>You finished cleaning up and dressed yourself. You put your worn boots on and tied them all the way up making sure they were nice and secure. You put your (h/c) hair up in a tie, grabbed your weapons and took a walk. </p><p> </p><p>You don’t sleep. Ever. You have insomnia, and can’t remember the last time you slept for even four hours. You usually spent the nights working jobs and walking around the city- just to keep your mind busy for even a little while. </p><p> </p><p>You started to hear the familiar sound of 3DMGear and looked up just as two silhouettes landed right in front of you. </p><p> </p><p><em> Shit. </em> You thought as they started walking towards you. <em> What the hell do they want? I was just walking and minding my damn business. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Hey you,” muttered a velvety husky voice as the face that belonged to it walked in the lamplight. </p><p> </p><p>You immediately noticed his eyes, which held a bored expression, were like ice, almost a silvery blue color. You then noticed that he was barely two inches taller than you. His hair was in an undercut style and was practically pitch black. His friend on the other hand was average height with messy dirty blond hair. His eyes are a light gray but not as cold looking.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason they just stopped in front of you silent, looking at your untrusting (e/c) eyes stare daggers right back at them. Your hand was resting on your hip, loosely holding the handle of your knife. You didn’t try to hide it and they didn’t try to stop you.</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” you noted impatiently, “what the hell do you want, or are you going to be staring at me with stupid faces for the rest of the night?”</p><p> </p><p>That seemed to snap the shorter man out of his stupor, but the taller man still kept staring, but you just rolled your eyes and started tapping your fingers against your knife handle.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you the one that keeps taking the jobs that we don’t?” Asked the short man</p><p> </p><p>You rolled your eyes again and let out a ‘tch’ sound with your tongue. “You mean the jobs that you took from me and now I’m trying to make ends meet with what <em> I’m </em>left with?”</p><p> </p><p>My sass clearly made the smaller man upset. His eyes lowered and darkened slightly, but before he could retort back, his partner, noticing the tension, jumped in calmly.</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, our apologies. We didn’t know that you were working the square already,” he said trying to sound casual. It kind of pissed you off more.</p><p> </p><p><em> They have no idea </em> , you thought angrily. <em> No idea, how because of their stupid machines I was stuck with half the jobs I had before. </em></p><p> </p><p>The tension kept building as you and the silver eyed man stared each other down. You were about to say something nasty when his partner tried interjecting again.</p><p> </p><p>“How about a proposition?”</p><p> </p><p>You switched your pissed (e/c) eyes over to the tall man, only slightly intrigued, and asked, “What are you proposing?”</p><p> </p><p>“We have an extra set of 3DMGear in case we ever decided to add a third party to our team,” he stated, his gaze fixed on you. “Why don’t you join our team and then we would be able to work together and get more jobs done.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know if you can tell, but I work alone,” I replied. “I’m trying to make it to the upper city as fast as possible. I don’t have time to split money with a team and try to learn how to use a complicated machine.”</p><p> </p><p>To your surprise the small man answered this time. It seemed his irritation died down slightly after your answer. “It actually didn’t take that long to learn,” he said looking at the machine on his hips. “The main part is balance, but the triggers and turning are a lot easier to handle. It only took us a month to comfortably fly around the city doing jobs.”</p><p> </p><p>You were a little surprised he was trying to convince you since just a minute ago it felt he was going to freeze you to death with his stare.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know…” You were still worried about having to split the payments. You also didn’t trust them. After all they took jobs without checking to see if someone was already working the square. You, after all, have been working those jobs for almost eight years now.</p><p> </p><p>“We will also provide you a better place to live. We have two extra rooms, and will help you with the 3DMGear,” said the taller man again. “This meeting isn’t a coincidence. We notice how you handle your work quickly and quietly and always get the job done. We would like you on our team for your skills.”</p><p> </p><p>You were a little shocked at the last statement. You had no idea that they even knew you existed, let alone knew how you did your job.</p><p> </p><p>You took a look at both men one more time before sighing and saying, “Fine, but as soon as I reach the amount I need to go up alone, I’m leaving. Got it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Got it,” they both answered at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>“My name is Furlan, by the way,” he said while reaching his hand to shake yours. You shook it with a little hesitation, but calmed down a bit with his trustful stare.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m (F/N).”</p><p> </p><p>“And I’m Levi.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Underground Part Three: Year 840</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“God damn it, Levi,” you muttered to yourself, finding the now empty tea leaf tin in the garbage. All you wanted was a hot cup of smooth, mouth watering, soul calming black tea this morning. But, of course, once again Levi has managed to hog it all. You take a moment to yourself placing your elbows on the counter and dropping your face in your hands. You have been living with him and Furlan now for almost a year, and you and Levi always seemed to be fighting over tea, but, alas, this time you were defeated. “Damn tea stealing fiend,” you grumbled in your hands.</p><p> </p><p>You remember that first night when you moved in after deciding to join them. They had shown you to your room, and compared to the shitty shack you lived in, it looked amazing. It was clean. <em> Really </em>clean. There was also an actual bed and a couple of windows looking out to the Underground. The room was off to the right of the main room of the house that held the living room and small kitchen. You couldn’t help but think that maybe you made the right decision.</p><p> </p><p>After settling in, all three of you were sitting around the dining table. Furlan was explaining the bathroom schedule so we could all avoid embarrassment and hopefully have no unwanted “sightings.” For most of the conversation Levi was silent sitting back in his chair looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to make some tea,” Levi abruptly said, cutting off Furlan for a second. “Would either of you like some?” Furlan kindly obliged, and then they looked at me noticing my confused expression.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s tea?” They looked at you like you just asked the most insane question in the world. That was one of the moments you remember regretting working alone and refusing to talk to people unless you had to. There were apparently a lot of things you still didn’t know about the world.</p><p> </p><p>After taking a second to compose himself Furlan answered, “It’s a drink made from leaves that you steep in hot water.” Levi was still looking at you like you were crazy, but you were thankful for Furlan’s explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” you acknowledged, “Then yes, I would like to try some, please.”</p><p> </p><p>After that night you did not want any other drink than tea. </p><p> </p><p>The day after you started learning how to use the maneuvering gear. You were a fast learner in general and luckily when it came to the 3DMGear you weren’t any different. You were able to use it properly within a couple of weeks and started going on jobs again, but this time with Levi and Furlan.</p><p> </p><p>Levi was a natural leader and you admired his determination to get jobs done fast and correct. However, that didn’t mean you two didn’t bump heads a lot. You guys argued about tea, of course, but nothing compared to arguments you two had while cleaning. You each hated each other's cleaning techniques, and he would always nag that whatever you did wasn’t good enough. Luckily you two had Furlan there to be the mediator, or you would have almost killed each other many times.</p><p> </p><p>The front door suddenly opened bringing you back to the present. You lifted your head, still leaning on the counter, to see Levi entering with a large brown paper bag. Your interest peaked immediately.</p><p> </p><p>“Please tell me you got tea?!” You begged desperately.</p><p> </p><p>He just just made a ‘tch’ noise while closing the front door. He then made his way over by you and placed the bag on the counter next to you. But before he could reach in and empty it you eagerly looked in and saw at least three tins of tea.</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit, Levi! Why did you get so many?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you drink too much, idiot,” he sighed. He then started taking them out and placing them on the counter. “I got two black tea tins, and thought you might want to try green tea for once. Seeing as all you do is drink my black tea.”</p><p> </p><p>You just rolled your eyes and grabbed the green tea tin. ‘<em> His black tea, huh,’ </em>you remarked to yourself. You looked at him and asked, “What does it taste like?” </p><p> </p><p>“Like green.” You just snorted and started to fill the tea kettle with water. As you put the kettle on the fire to start boiling it, Levi was putting the other tea leaf tins away where they belong and folding up the paper bag to use again.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to give you anything for the tea?”</p><p> </p><p>He looked at you and brought his eyebrows together. “No need. It’s on me,” he said. “Consider it a future gift for when you finally get out of the Underground.”</p><p> </p><p>You sighed a thank you knowing that if you tried to protest he would just get pissed off at you. These moments were rare, but every time he did something kind it made you feel like an obligation. Like the first time he gave you clothes to wear. The argument ended with him saying that you deserved more than the shit stained clothes you were walking in. You had protested and said they weren’t shit stained but eventually took his extra clothing anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Furlan also did nice things for you too, but for some reason you didn’t mind as much. Ever since you first met him he has always been like an older brother to you. He talked to you more and you two seemed to never argue. You even opened up to Furlan about some of the shit you’ve been through and have done. He never seemed to judge you in any way. </p><p> </p><p>“Where’s Furlan,” asked Levi, snapping you out of your thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>You looked up to see Levi now sitting at the dining table with tea cups ready to be filled. “He went to see if there are any more jobs to take tonight,” you answered while checking the teapot, feeling impatient. <em> I want my damn tea already.  </em></p><p> </p><p>After some time of comfortable silence the water was boiling. You steeped the tea then started filtering it into the cups. You sat down across from Levi and started to take a sip. ‘<em> It’s really good.’ </em> You let out a loud long sigh closing eyes. ‘ <em> Finally, tea,’ </em> you thought while smiling <em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>That made Levi chuckle- a rarity- while he took another sip. You couldn’t help but thoughtfully remark about the strange way he holds his cups, but you never bothered to ask him why he holds it that way. You just assumed he has a good reason for it. “I’m assuming you like the tea then?”</p><p> </p><p>You just looked at his silver eyes and smiled, “It’s not as good as black tea, but I’ll deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You better,” he smirked back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was the middle of the night and you, Levi, and Furlan were out walking the streets taking a breather after completing all of your jobs except one. All of you were clad in your maneuvering gear with cloaks covering them. You couldn’t help but feel dread tonight. Something in the air felt different, and by the looks of the two men beside you, they felt the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s walk a couple of more streets and then switch to our 3DMGear,” Levi said. Both you and Furlan nodded in reply.</p><p> </p><p>The three of you kept walking until you noticed that a tall man had started following you. You cleared your throat to catch Levi’s attention. When he looked at you you nodded towards the suspicious man. He acknowledged with a slight nod with his chin and looked from the corner of his eye.</p><p> </p><p>From the look of confusion he gave, he didn’t seem to know the man, but he stopped walking nevertheless and turned around to confront him. Both you and Furlan turned around as well right after.</p><p> </p><p>You stared at the man who looked to be about in his late 40s. He has wrinkles around his eyes and forehead. His eyes were a striking (E/C) color, and that’s when you noticed they were looking straight at you.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello (F/N),” he said with a smirk then continued, “glad to see that you’ve managed to live this long.”</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t hide your complete shock. Furlan and Levi looked at you to see if you knew him, but from your reaction it was clear that you didn’t. Which made Levi tense up more and rest his hands on his knife in his pocket.</p><p> </p><p>Unfazed by the immense tension the man started to speak again, “Come on (F/N)! You don’t even remember your own father?!”</p><p> </p><p>“The fuck are you talking about,” you grunted at him. As far as you were concerned, you never had a father.</p><p> </p><p>He rolled his eyes and continued, “You’re full name is (F/N) (L/N). You were born the year 824 on (birth date and month). I am your father, (father’s name). Your mother was (mother’s name) and died when you were four. I wanted to stay and take care of you but I thought you’d be better off alone, so I left, and it looks like I was right ‘cause look at you! Practically grown up and healthy.”</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. This man was claiming to be your father, and saying that it was a great idea to abandon you when you were only four. What was he trying to do?! Make you feel relieved? You couldn’t ignore the fact that everything he said about you was correct. Not to mention that his features were similar to yours, but even if he was your actual father he was still crazy to think you wanted to know.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Look, I don’t care if you are my actual father or not,” I spat, trying to put as much venom in each word as I could, “but you don’t abandon a child, especially in the Underground. I’m sick of hearing you speak, and I suggest you start walking away if you know what’s good for you.”</p><p> </p><p>He merely chuckled at your threat and said, “You see, I would like to leave, but, alas, I was hired to kill you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t look like you’re really prepared,” interjected Levi with an apoplectic tone, “Usually don’t see a man threaten a life in front of two other men when he appears to be all alone.” At that moment both you and Furlan started to look around while Levi kept glaring at the man. There really wasn’t anyone in sight. Plus, the people that were around earlier noticed the confrontation and immediately hid inside. ‘<em> So, what is this man’s plan,’ </em>you thought.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because I don’t intend to kill you, but to warn you.” You all looked at him in surprise when he continued, “I may not have been there but the idea that someone is out here trying to threaten my daughter made me worried. I decided to find you and warn you, and then give you the rest of my savings to help you get the hell out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would someone want (F/N) dead,” asked Furlan, finally joining the conversation. “It doesn’t make sense.”</p><p> </p><p>“Apparently she killed three gang members a few years ago in cold blood, and now their colleagues want revenge,” he explained. Complete dread washed over you. You hadn’t thought that they were that important. ‘<em> How can three insignificant pigs be important enough to get revenge for,’ </em>you thought. You took a quick glance at Levi who was looking at you in surprise and you immediately kicked yourself for never telling him. You had only ever told Furlan.</p><p> </p><p>You looked back at the man and said, “That was in self defense. I didn’t think they were important or worth keeping alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever the case they are still trying to kill you,” the man mumbled as he reached into his pocket causing you and your teammates to reach for your weapons. He pulled out a rolled up stack of cash and walked towards you. “Take it please, and get the hell out of here as fast as you can. I don’t know how much you have saved, but I can only hope that with this it is enough.”</p><p> </p><p>You looked at the stack and knew that with the money you had, what you made tonight, and what he was handing you would be more than enough. You wanted to cry and cheer at the same time. Here a man you don’t know was giving you exactly what you wanted your whole life. Freedom from the Underground.</p><p> </p><p>You looked up at the man’s eyes and slowly took the cash from him and put it in one of your own pockets. Noticing this, both Levi and Furlan relaxed slightly and put away their knives.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going to happen to you though,” you asked quietly. “There’s no way they will let you live when they find out you let me go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about me. I don’t care if I die. I’m just glad I got to help you before I did so I can leave this world with no regrets.” </p><p> </p><p>And just like he appeared, he left with you, Levi, and Furlan staring after him.</p><p>
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</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Levi decided that you all had enough excitement for one evening and cancelled that last job on the list. You were okay with that until you found out the reason he wanted to get home early was to interrogate you.</p><p> </p><p>“How could you not tell me about what happened?!”</p><p> </p><p>You looked up from your tea to see an incredibly pissed off Levi staring at you. His silver eyes were in slits, and his mouth set in a firm line. You couldn’t help but also notice his jawline was more prominent than normal, and how much his muscles tensed while leaning heavily on the table. As much as you hated him yelling at you, you knew he wasn’t in the wrong. You should have told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you not trust me or something?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I trust you, Levi,” you sighed. “I don’t honestly know why I didn’t tell you. It’s not like you ever talk about your past with me, and because you don’t talk much I assumed you didn’t want to talk about it. So, I thought you thought the same. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did think that, but I didn’t know you had only told Furlan,” he snapped.</p><p> </p><p>“It was only because I had asked, Levi.”</p><p> </p><p>You looked over at Furlan who was sitting tiredly on the couch. He wasn’t like Levi and you, he went to bed early and usually slept in. You felt bad that he felt the need to stay up. Both you and Levi tried to get him to go to bed, but he refused.</p><p> </p><p>It was true that Furlan had asked about your past, and yes you told him, but only because Furlan is like a big brother to you. Levi had always been something different to you, but you could never understand how or why.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever, fine.” He fell into his chair and put his face in his hands. You watched as he rubbed his temples and eyes until he finally folded his hands in front of his chest, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his legs. He looked back into your shiny (e/c) eyes and asked, “Are you ready to tell me now?”</p><p> </p><p>You looked down at your small hands holding the cup of tea. You ran your thumb against the lip thinking about how to answer. You wanted to tell him, but you were ashamed of what happened. You didn’t regret killing the men, but you regretted it ever happened in the first place. You regretted not being able to protect yourself in time before they held you down and hurt you. ‘<em> I want to tell him, but what will he think of me?’ </em> You thought this while looking back up again to see him watching and waiting for your answer. You noticed Furlan had fallen asleep sitting up on the couch with his mouth hanging open. ‘ <em> How is he able to fall asleep everywhere?’ </em> </p><p> </p><p>You sighed in defeat and whispered making him lean more toward you, “I will tell you, but please promise me that you won’t judge me or think less of me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>You were sitting alone at the dining table counting all your money. After you had told Levi what happened he stood up and hugged you for the first time ever and said, “I’m glad you told me, (F/N). I’m sorry that ever happened to you and if you hadn’t killed them already, I would have done so myself.” He then rubbed your head and said good night walking into his room. You were beyond relieved that he didn’t get mad or hate you in any way.</p><p> </p><p>When you were done counting you slowly realized that you will actually be able to leave this place, but something kept nagging at you. You didn’t want to leave Levi and Furlan behind, but your condition for joining this group was if you made enough money to leave, you were gone. You also didn’t want them to miss you and you didn’t want to have to regret leaving them. So, in your sixteen year old mind there was only one thing to do and that was to make them hate you. As you waited for them to wake up you packed what little you had in your sack. You decided to leave your shotgun, but placed the knife in the sack along with your money wrapped up in a paper bag. You had taken a quick bath and brushed your teeth before sitting awkwardly straight on the couch. Not being able to relax. </p><p> </p><p>Levi was the first up, as usual. He noticed how you looked constipated sitting on the couch like that, “Good morning, why are you sitting like that? Looks like you're holding in a shit.” He noticed how you rolled your eyes instead of chuckle like you usually did when he said things like that. “What’s wrong?” He said nonchalantly while grabbing one of the tea leaf tins. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, to be honest I’m so <em> sick </em> of you.” He looked up and saw you standing now with your hands firmly at your sides, and your face contorted with anger. He also noticed your sack wrapped around your shoulders. ‘ <em> So, she must have enough to leave then, but why is she so angry,’ </em>Levi thought to himself but kept his face in a bored stare. “All you ever do is put me down and complain about everything I do. I hate you and I hate the way you treat me.”</p><p> </p><p>He looked shocked. He tried to compose himself, but it was too surprising. He was silent for a minute and then he sighed and made a ‘tch’ noise with his tongue. “Let me guess, you have enough to leave and your best plan is to make me hate you so I won’t miss you, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care what you fucking take out of this, but you’re right. I’m leaving. But I want to tell you how I truly feel before I go,” His eyes lowered and he clenched his hands while he watched you take a deep breath before saying, “You're a complete asshole, and I hope I never see you again.” You turn on your heel booking it for the door. You hear Levi yelling after you, but after a few blocks he gives up chasing you. </p><p> </p><p>You never once looked back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Training Corps Part One: Year 841 The Crazy and the Scared</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Welcome trainees, to your own personal hell!”</p><p> </p><p>You almost laughed at that last statement. Instructor Duvalier had been going on a tangent for what seemed like over an hour now. All about how this training will push us to the limits and blah blah blah. You wanted training to start already. Listening to this old man yelling about how useless you all were was irritating.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, let me have a stroll and get to know some of you maggots,” he sneered while walking down the middle of the trainees. It seemed to you that there were quite a bit of trainees surrounding you, and that was just your half of the field, the other half was full as well. You wondered how many would leave today because they couldn’t handle it.</p><p> </p><p>You have been above ground for over six months now. You remember getting to the last staircase and almost being blinded by the sunlight. That day was the best and worst day of your life. On one side you were happy to finally be free, to feel the sun on your skin for the first time, but on the other side, you hurt someone you really cared about. <em> You’re joining the Survey Corps anyway, so you might be dead before he even gets up here anyway, </em>your dark thoughts told you.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as you reached the top you headed straight to the capital to get your citizenship card. It wasn’t as difficult a process as you thought it would be, but people still looked at you like a trash heap. After that you stopped by a small bakery to grab some food for the trip and started heading to Trost District. </p><p> </p><p>You wished you had looked around at the buildings a lot more, but all you remember is the sky, and the looming walls shooting towards it. You kept repeating in your mind that someday you’ll see outside those walls. </p><p> </p><p>When you reached Trost you were hoping you’d be able to join the Training Corps right away, but they told you you had to wait for over six months to join the 98th Training Corps. So, you managed to find a job at an old inn near the entrance to Wall Rose. The innkeeper, Ana, was a very kind old lady who helped you learn to read and write, so when you went into the military you were prepared. She was very sweet and having thought of her just now made you sad.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey you!” You looked up to see Instructor Duvalier standing right in front of you. He had gray hair and blue eyes, and he was about a foot taller than you. You noticed the amount of wrinkles surrounding his face and internally wondered how old the man actually was. You cursed yourself for getting lost in your thoughts again.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sir?” Your voice was strong, he noticed.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s your name, maggot?!”</p><p> </p><p>“(F/N) (L/N), sir!”</p><p> </p><p>“Where the hell are you from trainee!?”</p><p> </p><p>“From Trost District, sir,” hopefully that would be the end of that.</p><p> </p><p>“Not where you stayed, maggot! Where are you FROM?!” Shit. Here come the stares.</p><p> </p><p>You glared slightly at him before saying, “The Underground, sir!” You started to hear everyone mumble around you, which made Duvalier yell at them to shut the hell up. He looked back at you glaring.</p><p> </p><p>“What brings you here?!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here to help save humanity, and kill the titans, so humans can live beyond the walls once again, sir!” You emphasized your salute once more and stood up straighter. Everyone was looking at you with shocked faces. '<em> Why would an Underground girl care about humanity,' </em>many of them thought.</p><p> </p><p>This must have pleased Duvalier because he just made a humph noise and moved on to the next victim.</p><p> </p><p>After some time he finally had you all run around the field until it was time for dinner. The over exertion was a lot, but your determination was stronger. You knew that the harder you worked, the easier it would get. Almost half of the trainees had quit halfway through, and then about twenty more quit before dinner was even served. </p><p> </p><p>At the tables surrounding yours people were complaining about the amount of food they were given. How it wasn’t enough to give to soldiers in training. You thought the complete opposite, for this was the most food you had in your entire life. You had everything you needed. </p><p> </p><p>You chose the table in the farthest corner, hoping people would get the hint and leave you alone. However you did not prepare for the person who sat next to you now. They didn’t leave much room for comfort either, and when you looked up to their face it was staring right at you with the craziest eyes you had ever seen and a smile that was borderline insane.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello! I’m Hange Zoë,” they screamed right in my face. They had light brown eyes covered by glasses, and a crazy amount of tangled brown hair tied up in a ponytail. They looked to be rather tall, with a mannish appearance, but slight feminine curves. “I heard from earlier that you’re from the Underground, and I knew right then and there that I just had to get to know you!” You noted how they were still yelling.</p><p> </p><p>“Hange! I told you not to bother her! She might not want to talk to you!”</p><p> </p><p>You looked up to see a boy, probably your age, worriedly looking over at you two while clutching his tray of food. He had light brown hair that was parted down the middle and brown eyes. He looked at you like you were going to start using your fork to stab Hange, or something. And before you knew it, you started laughing out loud. Now the whole dining hall was looking at you.</p><p> </p><p>After a minute you started to calm down, wiping tears from your eyes and looked up speaking to both of them, “I’m not going to kill you for talking to me. I was hoping to eat alone tonight, but I honestly don’t mind the company, I suppose.”</p><p> </p><p>That made Hange smile, and you saw the boy visibly relax and walked over to sit across from you two.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Moblit Berner, by the way,” he stated sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m (F/N) (L/N).”</p><p> </p><p>“So, tell me (F/N),” Hange started looking at you with that insane look in their eyes, “what brings you here? Really? I’ve never met anyone from the Underground, let alone heard of one who wanted to join the military. Also, how old are you? You’re short, so you look ageless, girl.” This made you blush. You didn’t mind being short because it didn’t seem to hinder you in any physical ways, but it was still a little embarrassing when people mentioned it.</p><p> </p><p>“Umm…” you looked down at your food while you talked, feeling uncomfortable. “I guess I was just inspired by the stories I heard when I was young about soldiers traveling beyond the walls and fighting for humanity.” You paused for a minute, and they both patiently waited not knowing if you were finished or not. “And I’m seventeen, by the way,” you mumbled quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you’re the same age as me,” said Moblit excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>“And once again I am still the oldest at nineteen!” Hange seemed happy about the fact, and it made you smirk slightly to yourself.</p><p> </p><p>Hange and Moblit continued talking the rest of dinner while you mainly focused on eating your food, answering a few questions here and there. They didn’t seem to mind that you didn’t talk much, and you were thankful for that. <em> Maybe I just made some friends, </em>you thought happily to yourself.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Later that night you lay in your bed while the rest of your barrack mates were sound asleep. You shared a bunk with Hange, and you could hear their faint snoring above you. You couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable about having to share a large room with a bunch of girls you didn’t know. You didn’t like the idea about changing in front of people, and having them see your body for even a split second. You've always been a lot more muscular than other girls your age, but you definitely had the body of a woman now. The innkeeper, Ana, always said that a girl like you would make any guys’ heart swoon, and that always brought heat to your face.</p><p> </p><p>You remember a time when you and Furlan were talking on the couch after having to buy clothing because the shirt Levi gave you was ripping apart. It was an incredibly embarrassing moment for you, and Furlan just didn’t understand why.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not like you can control growing up, (F/N),” he explained. “You just have to remember that everyone goes through this, and it’s not a big deal.”</p><p> </p><p>The conversation helped a little, but you weren’t embarrassed about the fact that your shirt was too small now. You were embarrassed because in the morning you were talking to Levi while making tea and a button popped right into his face. And the fact that after it happened you both just stood there, you with your cheeks on the verge of melting and Levi staring at your chest in shock. Eventually he snapped out of it and demanded that you go get a new shirt. It was like the world telling you to live in constant awareness of your body and always make sure to wear a shirt that fits.</p><p> </p><p>You grumble to yourself coming back to the present, just feeling the heat on your face again as you remember. <em> Why am I thinking of him now, </em> you complain to yourself. <em> Why can’t I just be normal and sleep? </em></p><p> </p><p>You eventually give up trying to sleep and grab one of the books Ana gave you before you left and deftly started to read by the moonlight through the window near you, trying to block any memories from the Underground out of your mind.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next day was filled with training to keep your mind busy. The trainees started the morning off with breakfast and then 50 laps around the field. While running you met a boy and a girl from the same village. The girl was named Elke Fischer, and she was probably the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. Her eyes were the color of the sky and her hair was a strawberry blonde that matched her pale skin perfectly. She was really tall, but incredibly graceful. She said she was 15 years old, but to you she looked like she could be in her early twenties.</p><p> </p><p>The male on the other hand was named Tobias Koch. His features were immensely angular, but he was still handsome. His eyes were a dark brown, and his hair was a pale blond. He had a golden tint to his skin that made him glow in the sunlight. He was a head taller than Elke and had a very athletic build. He said he was 16 years old, and again you felt like he looked way older. You felt completely lame and inadequate next to them, but they were uncommonly kind and you got along with them well. You also noticed that they were intensely close to each other. Your suspicions were answered later that night when you caught them making out behind the barracks.</p><p> </p><p>For the rest of the day the trainees did various exercises that tested their mobility, balance, and stamina. By the end of the day everyone was completely exhausted and fell asleep immediately when they reached their beds. Everyone except you, of course. You weren’t as sore as everyone else, and you even felt like you wanted to do more. So, you snuck out of your barrack to go outside and walk around, hoping the walk will relax your muscles. It was around this time you caught Elke and Tobias practically eating each other and giggled like a little girl because you were so uncomfortable. Your giggle scared them. They immediately separated and ran to their respective barracks without looking at who it was. </p><p> </p><p>When you were back in bed you finally calmed down enough to get a couple of hours of sleep.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>It's now been a few months into training, and Instructor Duvalier finally felt the trainees were ready to start training with the 3DMGear.</p><p> </p><p>They started it off by having each recruit balance from the grappling hooks in the air. There were quite a few recruits that seemed to have issues, and were told that if they didn’t get it by tomorrow they would be sent home. You watched as Hange was able to balance perfectly and then yell happily, throwing their arms in the air. It made their balance falter a little before they quickly recovered with an embarrassed giggle. Moblit seemed to do just fine, but he looked like he was about to fall over. Both Tobias and Elke were able to keep their balance as well, and made it look like it was the easiest thing in the world. </p><p> </p><p>When it was your turn you weren’t nervous. You were able to keep your balance easily and stay completely relaxed. According to Instructor Duvalier, your balance was perfect. Which was not a surprise as you have experience with the maneuvering gear, but you were obviously not going to tell anyone that particular detail.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day was spent running more laps and the usual training. You were pulled aside by Duvalier telling you that if you kept working as hard as you are, you will make the top ten for sure. You couldn’t help but smile in spite of yourself.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Training Corps Part Two: Year 844- The 98th Training Corps Graduating Class</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <span>“So, (F/N), do you still plan on joining the Scouts?”</span>
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  <span>You looked over to Elke across the table. It had been another long day of training on Titan dummies and horseback riding. Everyone looked a bit tired, but with one month left as trainees, everyone was ready and excited to choose their desired military branch. You were sitting with your usual group of comrades that consisted of Hange- always practically glued to your left side- then Moblit on her left side, and you had Elke and Tobias sitting across from you- usually holding hands underneath the table. </span>
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  <span>When you had joined the Training Corps you didn’t plan on making friends at all. It seemed as soon as Hange broke your barrier, everyone else followed closely after. Hange, of course, was the only one you considered a close friend. You shared some of your experiences in the Underground as a child with Hange, and they always listened with immense interest and you liked that they never judged you. You still mainly kept to yourself which made anyone outside of your group think you were self-centered, or rude. Also, because you were very talented and strong, people were intimidated by you, so they avoided you. You would also catch people rolling their eyes every time you would get praise from an instructor, and whisper with their comrades about you.</span>
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  <span>Obviously, you didn’t care. You were here to be trained to kill titans and protect humanity. You worked hard for where you are at, and you only want to get stronger.</span>
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  <span>“Hellllooooo...earth to (F/N),” sang Elke. You snapped out of your thoughts to see everyone staring right at you with grins on their faces.</span>
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  <span>“Oh, sorry,” you hastily say, blushing slightly. It was embarrassing how you could keep focus on the field so easily, but as soon as you get back you get completely lost in your thoughts. “Yes, I am still going to join the Scouts.”</span>
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  <span>“That’s good to hear, (F/N). They could use someone like you. It sounds like their death percentage is still in the high 50s, but everyone is starting to talk about this Captain Erwin? I think that’s his name,” Elke paused to think before continuing, “Apparently he is very bright and is trying to think of a new formation to cut down the percentage. I’m sure that if you were to join, you would be able to help save even more lives.”</span>
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  <span>Elke’s mother was in the scouts, and that meant Elke was always the first to hear about any type of news. She liked to gossip about the stories she’s heard every time she gets a letter from her mom. Elke admired her mother a great deal, and had planned to join the Scouts since she was very young.</span>
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  <span>You just shrugged and aimlessly played with your spoon. You had already finished your soup and bread, and were just waiting for everyone else to finish and for the end of dinner bell to sound.</span>
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  <span>“What about you, Hange?” Elke moved on, noticing you must have been done socializing for the time being. She understood that you got tired after talking too long. “How do you plan to continue your interests in Titans?”</span>
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  <span>“I think the best place for me to conduct research is to join the Scouts!” Hange always got exceedingly excited to talk about anything involving Titans. Their dream was to capture a titan and do various experiments to gain knowledge. Some of their ideas to you were a little crazy, but it always made you happy to see Hange so ecstatic about wanting to discover things for the betterment of humanity.</span>
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  <span>“And Moblit, I’m assuming you are planning on joining the Scouts as well to make sure Hange doesn’t get killed by a titan, right?”</span>
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  <span>This made everyone around the table laugh. It was a passing joke that Moblit was constantly running after Hange to make sure they didn’t die, or get distracted enough to get seriously injured. For example, today while we were riding horses on a cliff, Hange went in a full tangent about how it was strange that all titans had the bodies of a male, and how they would like to know why or how they reproduce. As Hange kept talking, they kept inching towards the edge of the cliff. Eventually Hange almost fell, but Moblit was there to grab their reins and pull them back. For the rest of the ride, Hange had to endure Moblit’s screams of concern. As usual, Hange just waved him off and said that they were fine and he needed to get over it.</span>
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  <span>Moblit just blushed and grumbled something incoherent, which just made us laugh even more until eventually Moblit joined in in spite of himself. After a few minutes we were able to calm down, and Hange decided to continue the conversation.</span>
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  <span>“So, what about you Tobias? I haven’t ever heard you talk about where you wished to go.”</span>
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  <span>Tobias put down his spoon after finishing his last bite. You couldn’t help but notice that the question made him look a little sad. He took a quick glance at Elke, who was playing with her bread before answering, “I’ve always wanted to join the Garrison. my interests have always been to help secure the walls, and to protect our homes and families, but…” he paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “I think I might join the Scout regiment as well now. The cause is greater to me, and I feel like I’ll be of more use killing titans than trying to keep them away.”</span>
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  <span>Apparently, this news was even a surprise to Elke. She looked at him softly, and said, “Really, Tobi?”</span>
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  <span>He just nodded in reply and you saw him reach again for her hand under the table. This act of affection made you slightly uncomfortable, but you were still glad to see them so happy together. All you could hope for was that they wouldn’t have to be cruelly separated, but in a world filled with Titans, that hope alone isn’t enough.</span>
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  <span>After a few more minutes of mindless chatter, the bell ending dinner time finally rang. You all stood and put your trays away and walked together to the barracks. After saying your goodbyes, you and Hange went into your barrack and changed into your pajamas. You were sitting up against the wall on your bed when Hange climbed up above you to their bed. They spent a few minutes trying to get situated before they finally stopped and let out a long tired sigh.</span>
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  <span>This made you chuckle, and quietly ask, “What’s the matter Hange? You usually aren’t this quiet when you complain.”</span>
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  <span>“I’m not complaining, I’m just thinking,” Hange said defensively.</span>
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  <span>“What are you thinking?”</span>
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  <span>Hange was silent for a minute, but you waited patiently until they finally decided what to say, “Were you really all alone in the Underground?”</span>
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  <span>You were a little shocked about their question. You had assumed it would have been about Titans, or the conversation at dinner.</span>
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<p>
  <span>“Yeah, pretty much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? Like, you never even worked with anyone else, or lived with anyone else your whole life?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, my last year there I did live with a couple of guys who I did jobs with, but it was a short time of my life, so I try to forget about it. Plus, it’s not like I’m going to see them ever again anyways,” you answered honestly. You were never able to lie to Hange. They could always tell by the sound of your voice alone if you were untruthful in any way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm…” was all Hange said before you heard them quietly snoring above you. You took that as the end of the conversation and began reading a new book that Ana sent you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You, Levi, and Furlan were walking the streets of the Underground wearing your maneuvering gear and cloaks to hide the machines. The last job you guys had tonight was a particularly dangerous one and involved a merchant who was attacking citizens if they didn’t corporate. You three were hired to assassinate the man if you caught him in the act.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi spotted the target first and instructed you and Furlan to switch to 3DMGear. You each flew in the air and landed on a nearby rooftop. Crouching, you all watched the man and his two workers moving boxes around, trying to look like they were doing something. Eventually the woman they were waiting for stepped out. They were talking for a bit before the merchant started yelling at the woman about how she needed to pay or she wouldn’t receive any merchandise from him ever again. Before you knew it all three men were on her and ripping her clothes. She screamed and thrashed trying to get away. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You immediately reacted and went flying at the men with Levi yelling after you to wait. You had landed on one of the men pushing him down to the ground. This freed the woman and she immediately ran off in fear. When he tried to get you off him you knocked him out with the handle of your shotgun. At the same time, Furlan landed next to you and started fighting the two other men. You could barely hear Levi swearing over the grunting and hitting. You were so preoccupied with helping Furlan that you didn’t notice a group of men run straight from the alleyway behind you. Two men grabbed you and Furlan each. They both held one of your arms to their chest, the man on your left held a knife to your throat.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shit,” you squirmed trying to get away, but the men holding you were strong and it just made the knife dig into your throat more.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So you’re the brats who were hired to kill me, huh?” The merchant spun glaring at each of your faces before lying on Levi who was now on the ground holding his knife out and ready to prance. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Seems like you’ve managed to win,” smirked Levi, but his eyes were like ice, glaring at the man. Levi kept looking at you two, and seemed to be thinking of a way to get you two out of harm's way.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>At that moment the man holding the knife to your throat said, “You know, I’ve been meaning to get a new snack lately, and that other woman is a little too fat for me. Maybe this one will taste better.” He started lightly dragging his knife down your neck and the right side of your body. It made you shudder in disgust, and Furlan tried to move around again in anger. When you looked back at Levi, his eyes were locked on you and you saw him tense and watched as his body started to shake. It was like something sparked inside him all of a sudden.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was like lightning. He tackled the men away from you and stabbed each of them immediately when they landed on the ground. With the distraction of Levi killing their comrades, the other men holding Furlan let go of him, and he was able to push them away right before Levi was on them with electricity in his eyes and stabbing them too.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The merchant was left standing there at a loss for words. You took the opportunity to pick up your gun and shoot him in the head. He landed with a thud.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You all just stood there for what seemed like an hour, but was really just a few minutes. You have never seen Levi fight like that before, and it surprised you. It was like he awakened somehow, and his only thought was to kill. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The sudden sound of footsteps entered your ear drums, and just like that, all three of you were up in the air again flying away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your eyes slowly opened, and you found yourself back in your bed in the barracks with Hange snoring above you. You had fallen asleep sitting up with your book still open in your hands. The moon was still high, so you must have only been asleep for a couple of hours.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I must have been thinking of what Hange asked before falling asleep,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought to yourself. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>What a strange memory for me to dream about though.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You remember later in the evening that night both you and Furlan were shocked about how Levi killed the men. At this point you had seen him kill a few times before, but you’ve never seen him kill with such intensity and will. It had shocked and scared you, but you were thankful that he protected you and Furlan. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You let out a sigh before shaking your head slightly and returned to reading your book. Tomorrow was combat training and you want to be able to focus. Physical training was another of your strong abilities- you were best in the class- but you still wanted to be mentally ready. You couldn’t be wasting your time thinking of memories from the past. You needed to focus on your time now and the future, and Levi and Furlan weren’t a part of that anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am Commander Keith Shadis of the Survey Corps! I’m here to convince you to join our branch due to our large amount of casualties. I’m not going to lie, we are at a fifty percent death rate after each of our expeditions! I can’t promise anything, but I can give you hope that as I speak we are planning new and better ways to bring down the percentage, and work on bringing more of our soldiers home!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man was absolutely frightening to look at. He had a shaved head and a short small beard on his chin. His face was long and cheeks were shallow. His eyes were the scariest part. They were so hollow the skin around his eyes was dark, and they held the look of constant anger and fear. His speech wasn’t the best, but he seemed satisfied enough with it. You guessed, in his shoes, it was hard to make a branch that was viewed as suicidal sound hopeful. His speech didn’t hinder your choice in either way, of course. Nothing could change your mind about joining the Scouts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After, Commander Shadis moved to the side for Instructor Duvalier to take his place. Duvalier announced it was time to name the top ten of our graduating class. Elke made the fifth spot, then Tobias came in fourth. Your name was called last, meaning you had made first in the top ten. You were shocked, but still happy that they thought you were strong enough to be considered the top of the class.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now,” yelled Duvalier, “it is time you all decided on a military branch! Will you choose the Garrison, which works to patrol and maintain our walls? Will you choose the Survey Corps, which works to explore beyond the walls and fight to gain our land back? Or, for the top ten, will you choose the Military Police, which works to protect the King and keep order within our walls?” He waited for a minute, giving people a little extra time to decide before continuing, “For those in the Top Ten that have decided to join the Military Police, leave now and meet your new Commander.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Duvalier waited while the people who chose the M.P.s to leave. You looked to your right and saw that only you, Tobias, and Elke remained. Duvalier seemed shocked that you three stayed, but just shook his head and opened his mouth to speak again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, those of you who have decided to join the Garrison, please leave now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t turn around to see how many cadets left, but by the emptiness in the air, you knew that not many cadets remained. Commander Shadis answered your suspicions by looking down and shaking his head. Looking to your right again, you saw that Elke and Tobias had kept their word and decided to join the Scouts, and you were positive that Hange and Moblit were right behind you as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The wagon ride was a long, awkward ride to the Survey Corps headquarters. You were right that Hange and Moblit stayed to join the Scouts, but there were also two more cadets that stayed as well. You didn’t know their names, but you remember seeing them once and a while during training. You were the one closest to the opening at the back of the wagon on the left side. Hange was right next to you followed by Moblit and then Commander Shadis was at the front. Across from you was Tobias with Elke next to him and then the two other cadets after. None of you had the nerve to start talking because the Commander kept looking at you all with that dead man stare.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you finally made it to HQ, Shadis gave you over to another officer to escort you to your dorms. You and Hange were roomed together, and Elke was with the other female cadet, whose name you now know is Alina. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dorm had two beds in each corner of the small room. Each bed had a table with a small lamp, and at the foot of each bed there was a large chest. There was also a small closet on the right side of the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I call the right bed!” Hange yelled before jumping on the bed laughing. They rolled on their back to face you as you walked over with your bag and placed it on your bed. “Finally, no more bunk beds, thank god.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You better keep your side of the room clean, Hange, or I’m going to kick your ass,” you laugh in spite of yourself, and Hange laughed with you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Three agonizing years later, and we’re finally here! Just a lot more agonizing years to go until we die, I guess.” You looked over to Hange to see them smiling to themself looking at the ceiling. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, if we make it that long. We should start unpacking before they come get us for dinner.” You turn back to your bed and start neatly refolding your clothes and placing them in the chest. You plan to hang up your uniform in the closet when you get them tomorrow. You separate your button up shirts and trousers on one side of the chest and the other side you placed your leisure clothes. You placed the books you’ve already finished reading in the corner of the right side of the chest and decided to put the book you were currently reading on your nightstand. When you felt like everything was in its place, you looked over to Hange who had fallen asleep at some point. You shake your head with a smirk and walk over to their bed. You reach towards Hange’s head and flick it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow! Okay, okay, okay, I get it! I’ll start putting my stuff away!” Hange complains while sitting up and sighing heavily. Hange stands up and starts putting their stuff away, sloppily. You fight the urge to tell her to keep it clean, but bite your tongue and sit on your bed for the time being. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>For having such a bright mind, Hange can be awfully messy,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you think to yourself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finally there was a knock on the door and the person let you know it was time to go to the mess hall. Hange hurriedly threw the rest of her clothes in her chest- making you visibly cringe- and ran to the door opening it and waiting outside with the officer to be taken to dinner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you, Hange, and Elke made it to the mess hall you saw that Moblit and Tobias were already waiting for you there. You all went to grab dinner together, which was potato soup and bread. Tobias picked a table that was the least filled and you all sat down together.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your conversation was mainly just about how everyone was all glad to have joined together, and being excited about tomorrow and finding out who their captains will be. You quietly listened focusing on your food and eating slowly. You had to admit you were a little nervous to meet your captain and squad. You didn’t know what they would think of you, or what they were like. You were just hoping you will be able to fit in with them and fight alongside great people.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you all finished eating you all walked together back to the dorms. Hange, you, and Elke had reached your dorms first and said goodnight to the boys. When you and Hange walked in your dorm, you walked over to your lamp and lit it with the matches you found in the closet. By the time you had the lamp lit, Hange had already changed into their pajamas and was lying down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange, you forgot to put your dirty clothes away,” you grumbled as you started to change into your pajamas as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“May you put them away for me, please?” You barely heard them because they mumbled right into their pillow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You just rolled your eyes and whispered, “Fine, lazy bones.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, g’night, (F/N).”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Hange.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Squad Leader Erwin Smith</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*****When it comes to food I went with the idea that before the attack of the Colossal Titan and Armored Titan, meat wasn’t so rare. I also feel as though the meals would be more hearty because they wouldn’t be on rations.*****</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>You woke up to a dark blue sky, and Hange’s snoring in their bed across from you. You had managed to get a couple hours of sleep last night, but the majority of the time you were tossing and turning. You couldn’t remember what you dreamt about, but your dreams were not the only reason for your fitful rest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today was your first day as a Scout, and you will be finding out your new squad and captain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘I wonder what my squadmates will be like,’ </em> you thought to yourself. ‘ <em> Will my captain be a hard ass, or will they be weak and unable to lead properly?’ </em>You truly hoped it wasn’t the latter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You sat up slowly and lazily put your head to your knees trying to relax your brain. You didn’t want to worry about this, but when it came to being outside the walls and fighting Titans you wanted to be sure that your squad was going to be able to fight well and watch your back. ‘<em> I’m sure I’m just worrying about nothing,’ </em>you finally convinced yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You stood up, grabbed your towel and robe, and walked quietly out of the room to the showers down the hall. You took a quick cold shower to help wake up your mind and body. After washing yourself thoroughly, you dried off and wrapped yourself in your robe. You made your way back to your dorm, with your feet padding on the cement floor quietly. You opened and closed your door silently. You turned back around and nearly jumped through the roof.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hange was sitting up in their bed. Their glasses were askew, their hair looked like a nest, and their mouth was hanging wide open. They were a sight to behold.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Holy <em> shit </em>, Hange,” you whispered aggressively. “You nearly made me jump out of my skin seeing you!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You watched as Hange slowly opened their half lidded eyes to look at you. You couldn’t help but wonder in astonishment about how on some nights Hange could stay up till sunrise, but on others they sleep like the dead. When their eyes were finally opened, Hange looked around the room, out the window, then back at you before mumbling, “It’s...not even...the sun...is not out...yet...why?” Hange removed their glasses to rub their eyes quickly before looking at you again. They made a long loud yawn before asking, “How are you able to get up so early?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I usually don’t sleep, so…” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I get it. You’re crazy.” Hange stood up and stretched their whole body towards the ceiling. They let out another load yawn before mumbling to themselves as they grabbed their towel and robe and walked out the door. You snickered to yourself watching them leave. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Turning back to your room, you hung up your towel to dry then headed over to your chest to grab a white button up shirt and a pair of white trousers. You put your clothes on then secured your trousers with a belt. You slipped on a pair of socks before placing on your maneuvering gear straps. After you were all wrapped up, you put your boots on. You were starting to braid your (H/C) hair when Hange returned to the room. You noticed they didn’t even bother to take out their hair tie or brush out the nest before showering, which resulted in a wet mop look on top of their head. Because of this you had to stop braiding your hair to help them take out the tie. It took forever and Hange kept flailing around, but you eventually were able to rip it out without having to cut it. By the time you were done helping Hange the sun was shining above the ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You quickly tried to finish your braid while Hange ran and jumped around the room trying to get changed and put on their straps. When you were both done it was time to head to breakfast. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You two headed to the mess hall together. Hange was talking excitedly the whole way there about who they thought their captain would be. You were only half listening, trying to stay in step with the long legged friend. You were annoyed that at the age of twenty you hadn’t grown vertically since you were fifteen. Elke always said that you were lucky because you had the perfect proportions of boobs and hips, and that you could easily hide from titans with your short stature. You never understood why boobs and hips were important, but you wouldn’t ask either because you didn’t want to feel embarrassed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you finally made it to the mess hall you and Hange grabbed breakfast which was eggs, bread, sausage, and potato pancakes. You two were the first there out of your friends, so you decided on a table in the middle of the hall sitting closest to the door. You sat down with Hange practically attached to your left side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wonder if any of us will be in the same squad,” Hange continued while shoving a mouthful of eggs in their mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Most likely not. I’m sure Duvalier had told Shadis about which of us were friends, but I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out soon enough,” you stated honestly to Hange. ‘<em> Will we end up on the same squad together? Or do they think that we will get distracted, and not be able to take this seriously?’ </em>As you thought this, Moblit, Elke, and Tobias all joined you and Hange at the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Today’s the day! Are you guys nervous?!” You looked to see Elke’s bright blue eyes looking over at you excitedly. She had put her long blonde hair up in a ponytail. Her soft features were enhanced by her intoxicating smile. You and everyone else couldn’t help but smile back at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m a little nervous,” you admit, “but only because I have to meet new people and hope that we can trust each other.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Elke nodded her head knowingly. Elke was always supportive of your anti-social nature and did whatever she could to make you feel more comfortable. She kind of thought of you like a cat. She wanted to be your friend from the start, but had emphasized on treating you with kindness and listening whenever you said something. Eventually you gained trust in her, and she became one of your closest confidants. Although Hange had kind of forced her friendship on you, she never forced you to put in a lot of effort either. She cared for your listening ears and company more. She also liked your once and a while blunt remarks that made her laugh. And when it came to Tobias and Moblit, you were not as close with them, but you still trusted them with your life, and they trusted you with theirs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of breakfast you all talked more about the events of the day, and what might happen. Until the Scouts were finally ordered to the training grounds to line up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and the six other new cadets were told to line up in front where you were given your Scout tan leather jackets and cloaks made of a thick heavy green fabric, with the Wings of Freedom symbol on the backs of each. You each slid on your jackets and held on to the cloaks while you all saluted once again until told to be at ease by Commander Shadis.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now that you new recruits have your uniforms, I’m going to give you your new squad assignments. Do not disperse until I am done!” Shadis yelled to all the soldiers on the field. “First, Alina Klein, you will be in Captain Thomas’s squad. Second, Ido Wolfe, you will also be on Captain Thomas’s squad.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Well, that’s the name of the other guy,’ </em> you commented to yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Third, Tobias Koch, you will be in Captain Flagon’s squad. Fourth, Elke Fischer, you will be on Captain Winkler’s squad. Fifth, Moblit Berner, you will be on Captain Müller’s squad. Sixth, Hange Zoë, you will also be on Captain Müller’s squad. And now seventh, (F/N) (L/N), you will be on Captain Smith’s squad. Recruits stay where you are, while your new captains and squads come get you. You may all disperse now!” And just like that Shadis was leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and your fellow comrades looked at each other. You noticed how disappointed Elke and Tobias looked because they were not going to be on the same squad. It seemed they split up the three recruits that were in the top ten. Shadis probably wanted the three of you spread out to help even out strength or something.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cadet (L/N).”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You turned around to see a large, tall blond man with- to put it nicely- strong eyebrows that hid his surprisingly beautiful blue eyes. He seemed to hold himself as a strong authoritative figure, and this made you assume that he must be your new Captain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You immediately saluted and yelled, “Yes, sir!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“At ease, soldier. I am Squad Leader Erwin Smith, and I will be your new captain. Please follow me to meet your new squad.” He turned on his heel and started marching towards the edge of the field.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Short and to the point, I see,’ </em>you commented to yourself as you began to follow him to a group of soldiers standing in a circle. When you reached the group, Erwin motioned for you to join the circle and he started to introduce you to everyone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is Lieutenant Mike Zacharias. He is second in command in this squad, and he will be the one you go to if you can’t reach me.” He was pointing at yet another incredibly tall man with blond hair parted down the middle, blue eyes, and a scruffy beard and mustache. He held a very calm but strong expression. “The rest are your fellow squad mates, Michele-“ an average height woman with short black hair and green eyes, “Felix-“ a young man with a shaved head and brown eyes, “Finn-“ a tall man with gray eyes and brown hair, “Jon-“ <em> another </em>tall man with blond hair and brown eyes, “and Mila.” The last woman was slightly taller than you and had long dark brown hair tied in a ponytail and blue eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You were sweating by now because you were incredibly nervous. They all looked like they had seen some shit, and you didn’t want them to think you were another weak cadet that would run away after seeing a Titan for the first time. All of a sudden you saw Mike from the corner of your eye moving his head towards your shoulder. You reacted without thinking and before anyone else could do anything, Mike was on the ground with you on top of him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ow.” Was all he muttered before everyone around you started laughing out loud. Even Erwin cracked a smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I forgot to warn you that Mike likes to sniff people like a dog to see if he can trust them.” You looked up at Erwin with a surprised look on your face. ‘<em> Who sniffs people?’ </em> You looked back down at Mike and muttered an apology before standing up and pulling him up with you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re a lot stronger than you look,” said Mike while stretching his back and arms. “And I have to admit your reflexes are incredible. I guess it’s no surprise why the Captain chose you personally.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, thank you?” You cringed at your response. ‘<em> Why can’t you talk to people like a normal person?’ </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>This just made Mike smirk before turning to Captain Erwin and said, “I think we can trust her just fine, sir.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It was now dinner time and you were sitting at a table with your friends. The day was full of Titan training and practicing Erwin’s squad formation on horseback. You had also learned that there was an expedition coming up in a few weeks that you all needed to be ready for. ‘<em> I guess this is how they break in the newbies.’ </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t believe we already have an expedition,” Tobias was saying now, “I guess this is what we signed up for, huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You didn’t blame Tobias for his worries. He had, after all, mainly chose the Scouts to be with Elke. I’m sure it was upsetting to not only have to be in a separate squad as her, but now have to go into Titan territory so soon without her by his side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Elke grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it reassuringly before saying, “I’m sure we’ll be just fine. We’re strong, and I heard that your captain, Flagon, is a good leader.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s kind of hot-headed, but he seems like a good man, I suppose.” After a few more calming and convincing words, Elke was able to get Tobias smiling again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You didn’t share the doubts your comrades had. After today you were able to get along well with your squadmates. Especially Erwin and Mike. By the end of the week the three of you were sharing jokes and talking as if you had been friends for years. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The First Expedition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The week before the expedition was not what you were expecting. You thought that everyone would be in a hurry to get last minute training done, or running around everywhere in a frenzied panic. Instead, everyone was depressed, short tempered, and irritable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin and Shadis seemed to always butt heads. Erwin had created a whole new formation to use during expeditions that he claims would lower the death percentage, but Shadis kept refusing. The squad doesn't know the extent of the situation, but from what you heard, it seems Shadis pretty much told Erwin to use the formation when he’s commander. It didn’t seem to bother the Squad Leader very much, but the last days before the expedition he had us train harder in Titan killing and practice more hand on hand combat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hange took every opportunity to talk with their captain about their theories on Titans and wanting to know more about them. It seems that Captain Müller tried every way possible to avoid them unless he couldn’t help it. It seemed that you, Moblit, and on the occasion, Erwin, were the only ones to actually listened to their crazy tangents. Usually when people saw Hange coming they would turn the opposite way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You hardly ever saw Elke and Tobias the last few days. It seemed that before the expedition they were trying to spend as much time together alone as they could. The only time you and your other friends got to see them was at dinner when they would actually sit with you. Although you knew why they felt the need to be together as much as possible before the expedition, it still annoyed you. To you it was silly for them to focus their attention on each other when they should be growing relationships with their squadmates. In the end, they might be the ones to decide your fate after all. In your opinion, they should have ended the relationship as soon as they enlisted as Scouts. Relationships were not ideal in the Survey Corps, and the reason was pretty obvious. They could die.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You once voiced your opinion to Hange about their situation, but they wholeheartedly disagreed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“(F/N), you can’t control how you feel for someone. You can’t let the simple act of death prevent you from finding love and taking initiative. They had been together for years before even enlisting as trainees. Sometimes the best way to cope with the possibility of death is to have someone by your side to hold you through the way. Whether they are your lover or close friend.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You couldn’t say you agreed with her, but their words stuck with you nevertheless.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>You were now sitting on your horse in front of the gate of Wall Maria. Captain Erwin, you and your squad were towards the front of the formation. Your jobs were to protect the Commander of any Titan onslaught. Hange and Moblit’s squad were to be in the middle, Tobias’s squad was right behind you, and Elke’s squad was all the way in the back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Commander’s formation plan consisted of keeping everyone together in a large group, but still kept everyone in their respective squads, while keeping the squads in charge of the wagons in the back. Seeing as Titans tended to be drawn towards large groups of people, it seemed silly to you to keep everyone so close together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Hopefully when Erwin becomes Commander he can fix this plan. Maybe his formation spreads people out.’ </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You were awoken from your thoughts from the bells indicating that the gate was opening now. You clutched onto your reins for dear life watching as the gate slowly rose above you. Before you knew it the Commander made one last speech for encouragement before leading his soldiers into the world beyond.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The brightness of the sun nearly blinded you. You never noticed how the Walls seemed to cut out the sunlight from its true shine. You also couldn’t help but marvel at how big the sky seemed. It seemed to stretch on for miles. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Who would have thought that an Underground girl like you would be riding a horse in the world with no walls?’ </em>You marveled to yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t forget you are in Titan territory, (L/N)!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You snapped out of your daze looking back down to see Mike looking at you over his shoulder. You nodded once to show that you were focused now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The formation continued forward for a few minutes before the first Titan sighting. They came in on the right from a cluster of trees. It seemed there were two five meters and one ten meter. It must have been your lucky day because the ten meters seemed to be an abnormal. The abnormal Titan’s speed was noticeably faster than the two shorter Titans, and it moved in convulsions that caused a chill to run down your spine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mike, (F/N), take out the ten meter abnormal. Michele and Finn, take out the two five meters,” Captain Erwin orders his squad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Oh, shit. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, sir!” You and Mike immediately turned together and rode towards the Titan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“(F/N), I’ll take out the ankles, you take the killing slice!” Mike yelled over the Titan roars and horses hooves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Oh, shit. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, sir!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before you could even second guess yourself as soon you both reached the Titan you each attached yourselves to the Titan with your hooks and lifted off your horses. You flew on the back of the Titan while Mike cut through the Titan’s ankles with ease. As soon as the Titan lost its footing you attached your hooks to the nape and flew, quickly slicing through the nape. You wasted no time landing back on your horse as the Titan fell to the ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice work, (F/N)!” Mike praised after riding up beside you. You looked up ahead to see the other titans on the ground as well, and the other two squadmates making their way back to the formation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you and Mike returned to the formation, Erwin merely looked back nodded to acknowledge you before turning back to the front. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Congrats on your first kill, (F/n),” yelled Mila on your left side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Holy </em> shit <em> ! I just killed a Titan. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The Scouts continued for another few hours changing course once and awhile before having to turn back already. There were too many titans for everyone to handle, coming from practically everywhere. You had managed to kill five more titans by yourself, and also gained ten assists. After the first Titan kill, you seemed a lot more at ease. It almost seemed natural to you already. Although you may have been more confident in your abilities, you never once put your guard down. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You had lost one of your squadmates, Mila, in one of the many Titan attacks. She was assisting on a fifteen meter Titan, and because of a slight misstep, she was crushed under the Titan’s foot. It had been the first death you saw of the day, and you were positive that you were going to have nightmares later about it. You had managed to take the Titan down, and made the salute after landing on your horse for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘At least it was a quick death.’ </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Scouts had stopped in a clearing about an hour away from Wall Maria to take a breather and finish gathering the dead and wounded before continuing the journey back to the wall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re doing very well today, (F/N).”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You looked up from where you were sitting to see Captain Erwin standing next to you. You were working on wrapping gauze around a cut you received on your upper left arm from the last Titan you killed. You got a little too close to the ground on the 3DMGear and ripped it on a rock. It didn’t need stitches, but it hurt like hell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You had already looked around for Elke, Tobias, Moblit, and Hange. They were all still alive and helping anywhere they could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Captain,” you said while you finished wrapping and stood up. “I’ve noticed, however, that it’s rather difficult to get an expedition done with so many Titans after us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, that tends to happen usually.” He spoke with a smirk admiring your bluntness. You never seemed to hold back, even if he was your superior.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wonder, Captain,” you continue, “wouldn’t a formation that involves separation of squads be better suited? Riding along in a clump doesn’t work in a vein, why should it work on a field with Titans that can smell us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, (F/N), you’ll be just fine.” He patted your shoulder and walked off. You noticed he didn’t answer your question, so you just assumed that he had already thought of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> ‘Erwin, after all, is a fucking genius,’ </em>you thought to yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When the Scouts had returned to the safety of Wall Maria, they were greeted by a solemn crowd. The expedition seemed to have only lasted about seven hours. A lot of the citizens were upset about the amount of deaths, but there were a few that would yell out their anger. Most shouts were about their wasted tax dollars and how the Scouts were wasting their lives for nothing. However, there was a man that caught your attention that really pissed you off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This just proves how weak these ‘soldiers’ are!” He was a short messy looking man with an unkempt gray beard and an extreme receding hairline and was standing on a box to make himself taller. He was yelling above the rest trying to state his opinion that you <em> really </em>didn’t care for. “This just proves that they can’t protect us! Those dead soldiers deserved to die! This is natural selection, I say!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You clenched your fists around the reins and pulled your horse to a stop in front of the man. After the many hours of riding and flying through the air with maneuvering gear, a lot of your hair had freed itself from your braid. So, when you stopped in front of the man, a lot of your hair was hiding your face. Everyone around you noticed your sudden halt and were trying to see the face of the mysterious soldier.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the <em> fuck </em> did you just say, <em> sir?” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>They looked in horror as you slowly moved your head up to look straight at him with a stare that could cut a Titan’s nape. Your (E/C) eyes pierced through his very soul making his heart skip and race. You watched as he slowly stepped down off the box he was standing on and ran away. You felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to see Hange next to you. They smiled at you kindly and indicated with a nod that you should keep moving. You obliged, and moved your horse back in the slow rhythm of the Scouts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you finally reached HQ in Wall Rose, you went straight to your dorm. You wanted nothing more than to remove these dirty clothes, take a shower, and lie in bed. Hange was chasing after you to try to talk about what happened, but that had to wait for later tonight when you couldn’t sleep, or tomorrow. Right now you need to clean yourself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A lot of the Titan blood had seeped into your clothing, and even burnt through some spots completely, causing holes. On the field it didn’t bother you as much, but now you just felt dirty and sticky and gross.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You didn’t mind a small layer of dust on a shelf, nor a small fingerprint on a window. Nothing disgusted you more than your skin. You hated how sweat, blood, and dirt felt on it. You hated how it felt after waking up in the morning and not taking a shower yet. Someone could spill something on your sheets and you will be fine, but if they spilled something on <em> your skin. </em>..you lost it. You could scrub, scrub, and scrub until you bleed and your skin would still not be clean enough. You couldn’t physically grow hair on your legs and arms anymore due to your vigorous scrubbing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you finally reached your room, you immediately stripped everything off your body, wrapped yourself up in your robe and ran to the showers. You probably spent an hour in the hot water scrubbing your body and hair. When you got back to your dorm you used cloths to pick up your destroyed clothes and took them to the trash to burn later. You spent the next half hour cleaning your maneuvering gear straps. The rest of the night, while Hange slept, you worked on cleaning and seaming back up your cloak. The only item of clothing that wasn’t touched was your jacket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you were finally done you were exhausted. You finally calmed down enough to lay down in bed with your robe still on and fell asleep for a few hours.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Erwin’s Capture Plan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>****I used the manga ‘Attack on Titan: No Regrets’ for the interrogation of this chapter. Just a repeat of how I do not own the manga nor the characters!****</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It has now been a month since your first expedition, and it seemed things were finally going Erwin’s way. Shadis gave approval for Erwin’s formation plan, and they were working on trying to convince the Royal Council. There were a lot of days where you and the squad were following orders from Mike because Erwin was at meetings in Sina.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, the Captain should be returning today. I was told that as soon as he got here that me, Finn, and (F/N) should meet him in his office.” You and your squad had just finished training in the field, and Mike was now doing his ending speech. When you heard your name to be among the few to see the Captain when he returns was a little surprising. “I don’t know what it is for, so don’t ask me. When the Captain arrives I’ll come and grab you guys. He should be here around the time you are eating dinner. So, that is all for the rest of the day. You are dismissed.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wonder what the Captain has planned now to only have a few of his squad members meet him?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were walking back inside with Michele as she asked the question. You and Michele seemed to get along just fine, but she tended to talk too much about pointless things like, how her hair looked and a pimple she found this morning, or how she might die alone without children, blah blah.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, but if it’s not confidential I’ll let you know tomorrow.” And as soon as you two walked inside you continued on without her. You wanted to take a shower before dinner because it was unusually sunny and warm today and you had sweated profusely. You felt disgusting and needed a long hot shower.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Later that evening you were sitting with your usual friends in the mess hall. Hange was talking about Abnormal Titans, and how they would love to observe them and see why they were so different than other Titans.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cadet (L/N), the Captain will see you now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and your friends quietly looked up to see Mike with Finn standing next to you. Your nerves tingle as you stand up, put your tray away, and follow the men outside the mess hall, slightly waving goodbye to your friends. You walked the dimly lit corridors with your two fellow squadmates till you reached Erwin’s office. Mike knocked on the door and you heard Erwin’s voice telling you all to come in. You and Finn followed Mike inside and stood in front of the Captain’s desk. You each saluted and waited for Erwin to start speaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you three for a quick mission tomorrow evening.” You raised your eyebrows at this. Erwin seemed to be his normal calm and confident self, but you noticed a slight uneasiness to his tone. “There have been reports from the Military Police of thieves in the Underground. Apparently they haven’t been able to catch them, so I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands and get them to join the Scouts. As you know, the M.P.s aren’t known for their compassion, and they would kill them as soon as they are in their grasp.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, sir,” you interjected when he paused, “but why would you want to have thieves from the Underground join the Scouts? How can you be sure to trust them?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As I understand, (F/N), you are from the Underground also, correct? If you were given the chance to leave it for free by joining the Scouts, wouldn’t you do it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I would, but I would have given everyone around me hell. Don’t forget that I had earned my way to this world and that I had chosen to train and fight with the Scouts. You’re forcing criminals to join a cause they don’t believe in. You will never have their trust.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand what you are saying, (F/N), but I have actually seen them myself. They’re not like the common criminals in the Underground. It seems they have taught themselves to use the maneuvering gear, and they use it with such ease. We need that talent in the ranks, and that, to me, outranks the possibility of their trust and where it lies.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You crossed your arms. Mike was also looking a little pissed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, Captain, but I don’t think letting criminals in the Scouts is a good idea. No matter how good they are with the maneuvering gear. We don’t know how they would fare in front of a Titan.” Mike seemed like he wanted to yell, but he just sighed and said, “However, I will do whatever you command me to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Mike. Now, you are probably wondering why I chose you three…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘More than that actually,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought. You had started to fidget with your shirt while your arms were crossed. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no way it’s them. It must be someone else who uses maneuvering gear. They couldn’t have been the only criminals to have used that machine, right?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I chose you three because of your speed and your ability to think quickly on your feet. I especially need you, (F/N).” You continued to listen to Erwin, fighting the urge to interrupt him and ask the question you’ve been holding in. “You lived in the Underground and know the area they frequent very well. I’m hoping you will be able to use your knowledge of the Underground to our advantage, and make capturing them quick and easy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s no way it’s them. You left them. They were supposed to be out of your life now. You weren’t supposed to see them again.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You started biting your lip while Erwin continued, “...and we’ll need to be there around midnight. It seems that is around the time they start their rounds.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Captain,” said Finn, “how many of them are there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There are a total of three. Two men and a younger girl.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You couldn’t wait anymore, it was eating you alive. You took a deep breath and finally asked, “What are their names, sir?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isabel Magnolia, Furlan Church…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘No,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you started shaking your head. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>No.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...and Levi Ackerman.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin wasn’t surprised that you knew who Levi was. Captain Erwin seemed to have known more about your past than you had thought. You didn’t blame him for investigating you before you joined the Scouts, but you were surprised that after finding out about what you’ve- well not </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’ve done- he still wanted you on his squad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were now sitting up in your bed against the wall. Hange had wanted to know everything, but you told them that as of right now it needed to be confidential, and that as soon as it was over you would tell them everything. That pleased Hange and they fell asleep almost immediately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your mind was racing, and you couldn’t even concentrate long enough to read a book. You were dreading the fact that around this time tomorrow you will have to see Levi and Furlan again after over three years. You never told them that you wanted to join the Scouts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What if they actually hate me? If they do, it’s all my fault for leaving like I did. I told Levi I hated him and never even said goodbye to Furlan, and to just pop up in a Scout’s uniform of all things...to capture them of all people. Gods it’s going to be fucking awkward…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You decided to give up trying to read and decided to lie down and close your eyes. Thinking maybe you can sleep your troubles away, but after a few hours of tossing and turning you gave up on that too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I wonder what they look like now,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you started to think, again. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Plus, who is this girl? Did they seriously replace me? Or do they just take in stray girls, or something? The fuck is that all about? Sure, I wanted them to move on, but they didn’t have to get another girl on their team. I highly doubt she is as good as me, though.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You let go of a long sigh, and rolled your eyes at yourself. You were seriously jealous of a girl you don’t even know, or have even seen. What is wrong with you? You only spent a year with them. It’s not like you made a huge difference in their lives.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You decided to start focusing on your breathing, and stayed lying on your back and staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. You didn’t get up to take a shower until the sun shone through the window and Hange started stirring.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The whole day you spent with Erwin, Mike, and Finn going over the plan to capture Levi and Furlan and “what’s-her-name.” You explained shortcuts that you used to use to evade M.P.s on 3DMGear. You also told them where they lived in case either of you lost them and needed to go there next. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The plan was to leave in the afternoon so they could all walk around the streets to get acquainted with the vibe of the Underground. Then as soon as the three of them came in sight, the capture plan would start. If the three of them decided to separate, it was your job to go after the girl while Finn would go after Furlan. Erwin also knew about Levi’s strong reputation and wanted him and Mike to get him. We planned to wear different colored cloaks long enough to hide our uniforms and 3DMGear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As the day went on, you got more nervous by the minute. The dread of having to go back to the Underground was taking a toll on you, but you knew you needed to put feelings aside to listen to your Captain and make sure all your comrades leave unscathed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was now later in the afternoon. Finn was in charge of leading the wagon with his horse. The wagon would be for the potential Scouts. You were riding your horse on the left side of Finn, Mike was on his horse on the right, and Erwin was in the front of all three of you. The ride was mainly a silent one, but didn’t take too long. Then, before you knew it, Erwin was handing over your horses to a stable boy to take care of while you all were in the Underground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By the time you all reached the entrance to the Underground it was evening, and a crescent moon was shining in the sky. Your heart was pounding, but you fought to hide anything on your face. Erwin started to move forward, walking down the stairs, putting on his hood. You took a deep breath put on your own hood as well, and began the descent back into Hell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed the staircase would never end. It seemed as if you were walking down the stairs forever, but you did eventually hit the dusty dirty street of the main square. The smell was how you remembered it. It took over your lungs and made you cough. Smoke, vomit, alcohol, and piss. That’s exactly what Hell smells like. Your skin started to feel thick and irritated, and you wanted to run right back up again but you forced yourself on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You walked next to Finn with Mike and Erwin in front of you. The streets weren’t that busy tonight, but it sounded like a couple of bars were quite lively. You were on edge and, using all your senses, listening for any sound of maneuvering gear. You just wanted to get this over with already. The guilt and fear can eat you alive later.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The four of you continued down the street silently. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“(F/N), I want you to keep your face hidden as long as possible. We can’t afford to have them see your face too early. It would be easier for us to catch them if they separate.” Erwin was looking at you with a serious expression. “You need to understand that you can be a distraction, which is why I want you to get the girl if they split up. She most likely has no idea who you are.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Captain, I understand.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t think you could be a distraction. You feel as if you have changed a lot since then. They might not even recognize you anymore. You no longer had round cheeks, and because of the constant training your features have hardened giving you a sharp jawline. But even so, it would be nice not to be murdered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s when you all finally heard the distant sound of 3DMGear. You all turned around to see three figures high up in the sky flying towards the square. By how fast they were going, it seemed they were only passing through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was in front. You made sure to pull down your hood more as you watched them come closer. He seemed to carry the same bored and tired expression on his face. His hair was cut exactly the same too. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Nothing about him has changed,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought while staring at him. You were aware of the other two right behind him. You were aware that Furlan was there too, but all you looked at was Levi. Your heart started pounding from nerves. You kept following him as they flew over you and your squadmates, and as soon as they passed you, your team prepared your gear and were in the air in a matter of seconds.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You flew through the streets following them about 50 meters behind. You kept your head low to help prevent your hood from flying off. It didn’t take them long to figure out you all were following them. To try to divert your squad, they attached their hooks to a low bridge and slid through underneath the bridge. The girl pushed down a man before sliding along after the two men. She was very inexperienced compared to them, and spent too much time showing off, it seemed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘She is going to be too easy to catch.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin and Mike chose to keep flying above while you and Finn were able to fly right underneath the bridge as well. This seemed to have shocked Levi, as you guessed he most likely thought you were all M.P.s and would be easy to get rid of. All of a sudden he attached himself to a large pillar letting his teammates continue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep that face hidden!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You realized that Levi was using the pillar to turn around it to get a closer look at who was following him. You immediately obeyed Erwin’s order and tried to pull your hood down more while trying to maneuver around the pillar with your squadmates. Levi seemed more interested in your uniforms than your faces. His eyes went wide when he saw the “Wings of Freedom.” Once he was back around the pillars he went to rejoin his teammates, and you followed shortly after. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a minute the girl and Furlan split from Levi going in alleys in two seperate directions, and like Erwin ordered you to, you followed the girl. She tried to use a lot of gas to lose you, but you caught up with her in seconds. She looked at you with shocked eyes, and tried to go lower to the ground. She turned into another alley but missed her target. She fell to the ground landing on some trash. You gracefully landed on your feet next to her and immediately grabbed her arms. She tried to fight you off, but you were a lot stronger. You pulled her arms behind her and tied her up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You bitch! What do you want from us!” She screamed right in your ear making your head buzz.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up. I don’t like loud noises,” you grumbled. The girl was very “cute,” but seemed to scream like a banshee. She had a head of red-brown hair that she wore in low pigtails. She had wide green eyes that stared at you with annoyance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘So this is the girl they replaced me with?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You rolled your eyes and started pushing her towards the meeting place. She kept trying to resist you but you held her with a firm grasp. At some point your hood had fallen down, but you knew you were fine to show your face now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, (F/N)!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up to see Finn just as you heard Furlan mumble, “(F/N)...that’s...thats.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up at you and his jaw dropped seeing you not only there holding Isabel who was screaming and kicking like a toddler, but standing there in a Scouts uniform of all things. Your eyes widened as well, but you kept pushing the girl forward, walking along with Finn. It seemed Furlan was a better captive as he wasn’t trying to fight, but he was also staring at you in complete shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You started to hear metal clashing in the distance and started running, forcing the girl forward. When you turned the corner you saw Erwin and Levi fighting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop!” Erwin yelled before Levi could stab Mike who tried to get in between the two. “Look around you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Still crouching, Levi looked around until his eyes rested on Isabel and Furlan.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me go, you bastard!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isabel, stop wasting your energy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But that wasn’t all he saw. He saw a woman who looked exactly like you in a Scouts uniform firmly holding on to Isabel. Either way his friends were caught, so Levi angrily threw his knife to the ground and looked back at Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Captain, are you all right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘She even sounds like her,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi thought in disbelief. Thinking of the voice that has haunted him for over three years now, Mike took this chance to tie up Levi before he could look over at you again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. You both did well,” Erwin answered. “Finn and Mike, line them up on their knees and take away the 3DMGear, and (F/N), come stand by me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Her name. It’s her name. She has her name.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi looked like he was about to lose it, but he kept his eyes on Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uhhh, yes, sir.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You walked over to stand a few feet from Erwin in front of Levi and Furlan and “what’s-her-name.” You didn’t want to look at him. You were afraid of what you would see there. Your braid had loosened and some stray hair was laying loosely around your face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was looking at you now. He noticed how you looked older but your face was still the same, maybe a little more angular. You hadn’t gotten taller at all, but you stood like a soldier. Your back was straight but your eyes were looking at the ground. Your (H/C) hair was shorter, and you had it in a loose braid. He wanted to see if your (E/C) eyes were still the same, but you refused to look at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have some questions to ask you.” Levi brought his glare back to Erwin. “Where did you get your hands on this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All three of them sat in angry silence refusing to speak. The tension in the air was stronger than the smell, and even more suffocating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your vertical maneuvering skills were excellent. Who taught you?” Erwin was talking in a calm but authoritative voice. He hardly ever raises his voice unless it’s to command orders to a large group or it's loud. Erwin stepped a little closer to Levi who was at the end of the group. “You are the leader, right? Have you ever received military training?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Silence. This time you looked up at the group and rested your eyes on Levi who was looking straight ahead, trying to ignore Erwin’s presence. His eyes were disturbed looking, almost murderous.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin seemed to look at him in awe and then say, “That is the face of a man who wants to kill me and escape.” He then looked over to Mike who was now right behind Levi. “I’d like to avoid any rough treatment if I can…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was the signal Mike was waiting for. He nodded once before grabbing Levi’s head and slamming it into a puddle of muddy water- well hopefully water- in front of him. Your eyes went wide knowing how much Levi hates anything remotely dirty, and you were sure that Mike was just added to his shit list. He grunted while he forcefully turned his face to the side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll ask again. Where did you learn vertical maneuvering?” Levi just looked at him more pissed off than before.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We didn’t learn it from anyone!” The small girl was yelling again. Maybe you should have put her in a muzzle.”You think we’re gonna let a </span>
  <em>
    <span>civil servant </span>
  </em>
  <span>push us around?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We figured it out so we could survive in this dump,” interjected Furlan. He was also pissed, but Furlan had always been better at controlling his emotions. “Anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like wouldn’t understand.” He made a quick glance at you as if to say except you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My name is Erwin Smith. What are your names?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi still refused to answer which made Mike push his head further into the puddle. When he pulled his head out Levi gasped and fought the urge to vomit words or something else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I applaud your determination, but keep it up and we’ll move on to your comrades.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn walked over to the girl and grabbed her head and pushed it slightly down with force. The young girl screamed again, giving you pains in your head, about if they are gonna do it, do it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You bastard.” You looked with wide eyes at Levi. He finally spoke and, of course, it was an insult.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is your name?” You thought all this questioning was silly because Erwin already knew the answers, but he had to get them to join after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s...Levi.” He looked so angry and disgusted. You were pretty sure he has never let someone treat him this way before, and it was causing a wildfire to burn inside him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi.” Erwin then kneeled on the ground in front of Levi. He didn’t seem to care that he was getting mud all over his white pants. “Would you make a deal with me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This surprised Levi. “Deal?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t ask about your crimes. In return, you will lend me your strength, and join the Survey Corps.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I refuse?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I turn you over to the Military Police.” Erwin was standing up once again now. “Considering your crimes, I don’t think you or your comrades can expect decent treatment.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi took a minute to look over at Isabel and Furlan before they rested on you. He looked you in the eyes and saw that they were indeed the same (E/C) they were before. He couldn’t deny it wasn’t you anymore. He slowly moved his eyes away from you to look back at the man in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Very well,” he said, “I’ll join the Survey Corps.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A New Formation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and your squad were climbing the stairs back out of the Underground with the three new recruits in the middle. You were in the back on the right side, Finn was in the back on the left, and both Erwin and Mike were in the front walking together and talking. Levi, Furlan, and Isabel were walking in a triangle formation with Levi in front. They had been untied and were climbing in silence. You kept glancing at Levi and Furlan, wanting to talk to them, but you knew now wasn’t the right time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you all finally reached the top Erwin ordered you and Mike to grab the horses and wagon from the stables</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, how are you feeling?” Mike was walking close beside you. You two have become good friends, and you grew to enjoy his company, but he sometimes tried to ask questions that were too personal. “I noticed how upset you looked when seeing them. I guess I just wanted to know if you’re okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t worry, Mike. I’m fine. It’s just been a long time since I have seen them, and I guess I was just surprised to see how much they haven’t changed.” You were also shocked that neither of them seemed to look at you with anger, but you would probably have to explain why to Mike, so you kept your mouth shut about that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It seems they were as shocked to see you. That one short guy looked like his eyes were going to pop out when he first saw you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“His name is Levi, Mike. Don’t call him ‘short guy,’”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You chuckled quietly in spite of yourself. When you two reached the stables you grabbed your horse and the horse pulling the wagon. You led them both back with Mike behind you riding his horse and leading the other one. In a few minutes you both returned back to Erwin and the rest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, squad mount your horses. Ackerman, Church, and Magnolia step inside the wagon,” Erwin ordered. Once everyone was prepared to leave, Erwin took to the front and led you all back to HQ.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once you finally made it back to your dorm you released a loud sigh. You weren’t aware that Hange was still awake. They had been waiting for you to get back, too excited to go to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, must have been really stressful.” You jumped at their voice. Hange was sitting up in their bed against the wall. They quickly lit their oil lamp so you could see them. “Ready to talk about it, (F/N)?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You sighed once again in defeat. Hange was the only person you trusted with this information. They always gave the best advice, and always kept your secrets.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. Remember when I told you about those people I used to work with in the Underground?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange nodded quickly, “Yes, you said you never planned on seeing them again. Has </span>
  <em>
    <span>fate </span>
  </em>
  <span>brought them back in your life?” They smirked at the word fate making you roll your eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not fate, Hange, it’s pure coincidence,” you hated when people talked about fate. Like how Elke thought it was fate that she and Tobias found each other in a town they grew up in. The whole idea of fate is stupid. Everyone makes their own decisions, there’s nothing out there deciding your life for you. “Anyways, yes, Erwin decided to recruit them for the Scouts. They were wanted for crimes in the Underground and because they were able to learn how to use 3DMGear, Erwin wanted their talent. So now they’re here. They’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking here. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Which means that I’ll have to speak to them. Which means I have to apologize for the way I left them.” You took in a quick deep breath. During your whole tangent Hange’s eyes had gotten wider. You never spoke so much in their time of knowing you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy shit, (F/N), you must be really upset about this. I’ve never heard you speak so much and so fast. Why would you have to apologize to them? What did you do when you left?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“...I hate you and I hate the way you treat me.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Those words came rushing to your head. The words had felt like acid in your throat. You didn’t mean a single word you said to him, but it was the only way you thought you could make him forget you. Over the years you realized how childish it was. Your choice to try to make him hate you had made you miss him even more, and now he was back. He was no longer a ghost, he was flesh and blood and real.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I said some terrible things to him. I was sixteen when I left. I was so young. I thought the best thing to do was make him hate me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, who’s ‘him?’”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi Ackerman. He and his friend, Furlan Church, were the ones who gave me a place to live after hiring me to join their team.” You looked down at your hands. They looked so small. You realized that you have been standing by the door all this time and finally decided to go sit on your bed. You sat down on the side of the bed putting your hands in your lap. “Levi was the only one up when I left. I basically told him I hated him, and that I never wanted to see him again. I left before Furlan woke up. I pretty much ran from the house in a frenzy because I didn’t want to see his face anymore. I think at this point I might have hurt myself more than I had hurt them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well then, maybe seeing them again is a good thing. You can talk to them and apologize.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I’ll be able to. You are the only person I can talk to openly. Plus, what if they don’t want to talk to me? What if they actually do hate me and refuse to even go near me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange looked at you for a moment. They looked sad for you. Normally that would annoy you, but it was Hange, and they were the smartest person you knew. They always thought logically, and never steered you in the wrong direction. Except, maybe, when they were trying to get you to love someone. Like Mike, Hange was always trying to get you two together. Those times were always very embarrassing, but other than that, Hange gave great advice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think, whether or not they are mad at you, you should still tell them you are sorry. You can’t leave them hanging, wondering why you left the way you did. If their friendship was important to you...then I feel you owe them an explanation.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re right, but you have to promise you’ll let me go at my own pace. Please, do not force me into a conversation I’m not ready for.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They rolled their eyes and said, “Alright, I promise. But if you take too long I will intervene.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay then. Fine. I won’t intervene.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ATTENTION!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shadis’s voice screamed out to all the soldiers lined up on the training grounds. You were standing between Hange and Elke in the second row. Shadis was standing on a platform with none other than Levi, Furlan, and Isabel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here to present three new recruits who will be fighting alongside you.” He took a pause to look over to the other three on the platform and said, “Now, you three, introduce yourselves.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was the closest to the Commander so he went first. He clearly wasn’t happy to be there. You watched as he glanced at the Commander with his bored and tired expression and said, “Name’s Levi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone was shocked at his attitude. Hange even turned to you quickly with a look of disbelief on her face. It took all your willpower not to start laughing out loud. You started coughing trying to hide your uncontrollable giggles. This made Levi glance at you, and Hange slammed her fist in your back making you stop immediately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nevertheless, the introductions continued.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isabel Magnolia, nice to meet all of ya!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Still loud, I see.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Furlan Church...sir.” Furlan was the only one who attempted the salute. Unfortunately his fist was upside down, and that made all the soldiers react in surprise again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shadis was clearly trying to hold in all his anger, but he merely rolled his eyes before continuing, “They will be assigned to Captain Flagon’s squad. Take good care of them, Flagon!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“WHAT?! You’re putting them on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>squad?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>You looked over to see Flagon’s face contorted in surprise and rage.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that a problem?” Shadis wasn’t happy about the outburst, but he didn’t look surprised that Flagon reacted in this way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no, I just thought they’d be placed under Captain Erwin’s squad, sir.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will be assigning Erwin to support expedition command in maintaining the formation outside the wall. Because of that, he will have no time to look after new soldiers. Understood?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir! I understand, sir!” He saluted the Commander quickly, but still looked pretty upset.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s all! Now all squads you're dismissed. If you have anything to report, come to me!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With the squad dismissal, Flagon stepped up to his three new recruits and started leading them around HQ showing them around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(L/N),” you looked up to see Erwin walking to you with the rest of your squad. “I have scheduled us a meeting to go over the new formation plan with you all. Please come with us now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yes, sir!” You followed Erwin, walking beside Mike, to a classroom on the second floor of the main building. He had already prepared the blackboard with a drawing of what looked to be small rectangles spread in a round shape. You each took a seat at a desk and listened intently as Captain Erwin explained his new formation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the Long- Distance Scouting Formation. The teams are spread out, to strengthen scouting ability,” he stated while pointing at the drawing on the blackboard. “We’ll deploy soldiers at regular intervals at a distance that will ensure a clear view in all directions, and we’ll  advance while maintaining the greatest scouting and communication range.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘So, I pretty much guessed his entire formation. This is ingenious,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought to yourself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The vanguard becomes the eyes of the entire group. By sharing information on the locations of Titans with the whole corps, we will avoid contact as much as possible. The primary method of communication will be these signal flares.” He lifted up a device that looked like a gun. “We’ll judge the situation based on the color of the smoke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, exceptions are inevitable, but most of the time the ones firing the flares will be the frontline scouting squads.” He indicated with his hand all the squads surrounding the middle squads. “A squad that spots a Titan will first shoot up a red signal flare. Neighboring squads will then confirm the color of the smoke, and shoot red signal flares to relay this to the center as quickly as possible. When it’s relayed to the center, the command squad will change directions and fire a green signal flare to indicate the new direction for the entire formation. The last signal flare is black, but that will only be used for emergencies. For example, if your squad is surrounded or you see an abnormal. Our squad will be located in the center front right behind the Commander.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I always knew Erwin was smart, but after this he might be as smart as Hange.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The next expedition will be in three weeks. We plan to test this formation then, so please if you have any questions, come to me. Now, it’s time to return to training. I’m going to be teaching the formation to the other captains, so Mike will be in charge. Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You, Finn, Felix, and Michele followed Mike back outside to start training. He wanted to start out with combat training, but not with each other as normal. He wanted another squad to join because we were getting used to how each other fought. You were surprised, however, that he chose to spar with Flagon’s squad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” He noticed you looked at him with daggers in your eyes. “Oh come on, (F/N). It’s nothing personal, plus they need the practice anyway. Flagon and I had planned to have combat training together for a while now, so don’t worry, I’ll try to convince Flagon not to have you fight with either of them.” He quickly gave you a kind smile and placed his hand on your shoulder reassuringly, which caused a certain someone in the distance to squeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Hange,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you growled in your head. You turned around to see her smiling right at you and jumping around. You immediately blushed and crossed your arms. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll give her hell later, right now I need to focus on training.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You watched as Flagon’s squad came to join yours. Flagon still looked pretty pissed, but he still managed a smile seeing his good friend, Mike.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, (F/N).”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up at Tobias as he gave you a friendly side squeeze around your shoulders. You didn’t notice a glare staring through your very soul at the sight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Tobias, how have you been? Have you been spending lots of time with Elke again?” You realized you haven’t talked to Tobias in a week. Tobias was a very easy going man, though. You two could go a whole month without talking and still be able to talk as if time hadn’t gone by.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you know us. Always trying to make every moment count.” He leaned a little closer to you and whispered, “So I heard that you were a part of the squad that brought these guys in last night. How did it go?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t too bad,” you whispered back to him. “The only one to put up a fight was the girl, and boy can she yell, Tobias.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed, knowing very well how irritated you get with loud voices. Shadis has gotten tolerable, but he still had his moments.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright cadets,” said Mike, bringing everyone’s attention to him. Using the distraction, you decided to finally steal a glance at Levi only to find him glaring right at you. You immediately looked away and blushed fiercely. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Shit, maybe he is actually mad at me.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We would like to start out by testing the new recruits to understand where their skills lie,” continued Mike. “We would like to use our strongest fighters, so Tobias, Finn, and (F/N), step into the clearing and we’ll assign which recruit will fight you today.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Make sure none of them train with you my ass,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you angrily thought to yourself as you stepped over to the clearing with Tobias and Finn. You crossed your arms while Mike and Flagon discussed last minute decisions about who will fight who.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay…” you heard Mike say before turning back to the squads. “Tobias, you will be fighting Furlan. Finn you will be fighting Isabel, and (F/N), you will be fighting Levi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You fucking bastard, Zacharias. I will kill you, I swear.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Zacharias, may I talk to you for a second, please, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sir?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>You articulated every word between gritted teeth. Levi had already made his way over by you. He was standing next to you with crossed arms while Mike walked to stand in front of you. Once he was in front of you and about to speak you cut him off. “I was just wondering, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sir, </span>
  </em>
  <span>why you placed me with him instead of the girl.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), both Flagon and I agreed that you are our best fighter and placing you with the girl would be too easy. Finn may be tall, but he’s very lean and doesn’t weigh much. After taking most of Ackerman’s attacks in the Underground, I decided that you were the only one that matched his skill.” You had to admit he had a pretty good point, but you refused to say it out loud. You merely just sighed and said fine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You watched Mike walk away before finally turning your face to Levi. He looked even more pissed than before. His arms were still crossed and his eyes were a dark silver staring at you. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s probably imagining how I would look if I was ground to a pulp,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you gulped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright cadets, you may start fighting when you are ready.” You glanced at Flagon, who was watching you two with interest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So you still hate me, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked back at Levi with surprise. Your heart was pounding now, and your hands felt clammy. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he making me so nervous? I’ve killed Titans for crying out loud! Why do I care so much about what he thinks of me?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I…” You tried speaking, but you sounded like a seal. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dear god, kill me.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Look, We can talk later. Let’s just focus on training right now.” He hummed in response and then you both stepped farther away from each other and got into your fighting positions. You noticed his form was actually really good. You bit your lip and prepared for him to attack first.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t, though. You both stood there for a minute waiting and circling around each other. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, for crying out loud. They’re testing your skills not mine. Just come and attack me already.” He merely kept circling around with you, refusing to move. He remembers how very impatient you could be and knew that eventually you would get annoyed and come at him yourself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No thanks, I’m good with taking my time.” You rolled your eyes at him. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s still a stubborn shithead.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You couldn’t take the waiting anymore and quickly went after him. You went in for the first punch, he dodged, but you figured this would happen. After missing you immediatly ducked from his arms and grabbed his waist bringing him down to the ground. He grunted as he fought you off of him. After being pushed off, you both rolled away from each other and went back into your fighting positions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not bad…” he mumbled. There was a mischievousness in his eyes now, but he still kept his face straight and bored looking. This time he came after you, and you swiftly moved aside from his punch and took the advantage of kicking him in his knees. The force made his legs buckle slightly, but he was able to right himself. He growled turning back towards you. He took you by surprise and pounced on you tackling you to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What the hell?!’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took advantage of this and pinned your hands to the side. He was straddling you, and you tried kicking and wiggling around, but nothing worked. You could feel your face getting hot and you started getting really annoyed. He was looking down at you with his hair in his face shadowing his eyes. All you could clearly see was that damn smirk he used to make when he was being a cocky asshole.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn it, Levi.” You tried to get free once more, but to no avail. “Fine, you win you cocky motherfucker. Now get off me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As you wish.” He stood up and moved to the side. You lay there for a second feeling royally pissed off with yourself. He tried reaching his hand out to you, but you slapped it away and stood up on your own. He just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms while watching you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you jumped me like that,” you said while brushing off your clothes. “And now I’m dirty. Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m dirty too because of you. Remember? You pushed me down first, idiot. I was merely repaying you.” You looked at him, he was trying to wipe off dirt on his hands with a cloth. You looked down at your own hands which had dirt spots as well. You immediately closed them and fought the urge to run to the showers. “Would you like to use my cloth as well?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘How is he still able to read you so easily?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You mumbled a thank you as took the cloth from his outstretched hand and started to viciously wipe the dirt off. You heard him chuckle at your determined face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Still don’t like dirt on your skin, I see.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shut the hell up, like you're any different you clean freak.” You finally felt satisfied with you scrubbing and handed it back to him. You watched as he folded it closed and placed it in one of the large pockets attached to his maneuvering gear belts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I may be a clean freak, but you're a skin freak.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever…” You turned to look around, it seemed everyone else had just finished their fighting. You noticed Mike looking over at the two of you with a strange face. It looks like both Furlan and Isabel had lost their fights. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Great, I’m supposedly the best fighter, but I was the only one who lost. This fucking sucks.’</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good job everyone. We are now going to move on to Titan training.” Mike stood before the group giving out orders while Flagon prepared the gas tanks and blades. You walked over with Levi following you. You stocked up on blades and put on your tanks. You clipped two blades to each of your handles and pulled them out. Furlan had made his way over to Levi and they were talking about something. With how he was pointing at the blades, you assumed he was wondering how they worked and why they looked so different.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You winced immediately at the sound of her loud voice. You looked over to see the pigtailed girl looking at you with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be (F/N) (L/N)! I wanted to apologize for being a nuisance before. I didn’t realize you were the girl that Levi and Furlan had worked with all those years ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your eyes widened. You couldn’t believe that they would actually talk about you. But why would they talk about you? You were only there for a year.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“They talked about me to you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yes. Ever since they first mentioned you I’ve wanted to meet you! And here we are, both in the Survey Corps together!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’s really nice to say, Isabella.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Isabel.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, right, sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not how the blades were meant to be held! You want to die as soon as you step outside the walls?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked over to see Flagon yelling at Levi near the wooded area that held the Titan dummies. Levi was holding the handle of the blades upside down and the blades were pointing behind him instead of in front. Everyone started to look over at the two with interest and amazement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>might end up that way…” you physically face palmed your head at his answer. You couldn’t believe he was acting so cocky with the authoritative figures.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you just say?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“All that matters is slicing the back of the Titan’s neck, right?” He looked over to Flagon with his expressionless face. “Let me do that however I want.” Without a second thought, Levi went straight into the woods. He was going fast.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(L/N),” yelled Flagon, “Don’t worry about killing Titans, just follow him and make sure he doesn’t kill himself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.” You didn’t waste any time and flew after Levi, making sure not to use too much gas to catch up with him. You watched as he sliced through the Titan dummies with ease.  He eventually landed on a branch to take a break and you landed right next to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, idiot,” you huffed making him turn towards you, “you’re using too much gas. If you keep this up you’ll run out and I’ll have to carry you back. Do you want that kind of humiliation on your head?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine on gas, I didn’t use that much.” He rolled his eyes at you, clearly annoyed that you were telling him what to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, you used almost half of your gas already. We traveled the same distance and I have only used a fourth of it. Now, may you kindly get your head out of your ass and start listening to the people who are trying to help you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t care about me? Why are you trying so hard to make sure I learn to use my equipment properly?” He was looking at you with a glare now. Almost challenging you to have this conversation now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you fucking kidding me, Levi? I’m not having this conversation right now. Take your damn training seriously, or you could be the reason someone or yourself dies on the field. Do you really want to be the reason someone dies?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t say another word, and took off again. This time he did start using less gas, but he was swearing to himself about you the entire time.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Wings of Freedom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What is the best way to deal with issues? Avoidance. Well, at least that’s what you believe. Yes, you want to talk to Levi and Furlan, but why deal with anger and confrontation when you can just not talk to them? It’s a lot simpler this way. Plus, you all were pretty busy with learning the new formation and running around preparing for the new expedition in a week. You didn't have time to talk about trivial things. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed Erwin was already trying to get you used to a leadership role. He was having you lead training sessions when he and Mike were busy with the Commander working on last minute details. Your squadmates didn’t seem to mind that you were put in charge and actually liked your leadership skills. You were blunt sometimes, but you took the time to help them and show them better techniques.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were on your way back to your dorm now after taking a shower. It had been another long day of training and it was almost time for dinner. Your stomach growled and you hoped that tonight’s meal was heavy on the meat. You finally reached your dorm. Once you enter you put on your uniform again with your straps and boots. You brushed your hair and decided to leave it down. Your hair never stayed in the braids you did anyways.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I might just start wearing a ponytail again.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked at yourself in the mirror on the wall. You looked tired, but that wasn’t new. You slowly brushed through your (H/C) hair and watched as it naturally parted to the (right side/middle/left side). You had just finished brushing your hair when Hange walked into the dorm room- well more like burst in. They looked around the room until landing on you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There you are,” Hange nervously said. They smiled at you and you immediately got suspicious. Hange knew that you took a shower after training everyday. They were smart, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out your routine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck did you do?” You were glaring at them while they started laughing and rubbing the nape of their neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...I might have let something slip from my mouth without thinking again, and it might piss you off to the point where you kill me…” Hange now had their hands raised in the air. Their eyes were closed and they had a nervous smile on their face. Your eye started to twitch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck did you do?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange made one more nervous laugh before scrunching up their face and whispered, “I was talking to Mike and he asked about you, so I accidentally let it slip out that I have been trying to get you two together for awhile now. So, now he thinks that you like him…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You just stared blankly at your best friend. You couldn’t find the words to explain your complete and utter anger towards them. You didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>Mike. You didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>anyone. And now you had to deal with a situation you never imagined you would be in because your friend thought they could be a fucking matchmaker.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You rubbed eyes and made a loud aggravated sigh. Your hands fell down to your sides and you looked back at your friend and they were still looking at you in fear and waiting for your outburst. You made a ‘tch’ sound with your tongue as you rolled your eyes at them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange, why must you always put me in the most uncomfortable situations?” You managed to speak in a steady tone. You didn’t feel the need to yell at them. They already seemed to be feeling guilty already, so you would let it slide for now. “I don’t have the social ability to deal with this right now. I’m already avoiding Levi and Furlan, and now I have to avoid Mike too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, you don’t have to avoid anyone. You could just go up to them and talk to them.” The look you gave them made them try another suggestion , “Or, I’ll talk to Mike and assure him that you have no feelings for him whatsoever.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds like a better idea Hange, thank you,” you gritted. You went to the door opening it while Hange stepped to the side getting out of your way. You sighed before saying, “Come on, its time for dinner and I’m fucking starving.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange gave you a relieved smile and followed you out the door walking by your side to the mess hall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, (F/N), by next year I bet you’re going to be a captain of your own squad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tobias was acting like a proud big brother talking about your recent leadership roles. It was now the day before the expedition and everyone was filled with nervous excitement. You were all sitting down at a table outside after deciding to have lunch in the sun. It was warm today and there was a nice breeze. Lunch today was sausages with bread and boiled potatoes. The food was pretty good, but you were too anxious to eat like you normally do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to agree with Tobias, (F/N),” declared Moblit. He looked over at you with excitement and friendly admiration. “You’re a very strong fighter, and you're able to handle pressure incredibly well. It’s no wonder Captain Erwin sees so much potential in you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys are too kind sometimes,” you mumbled, slightly embarrassed. You haven’t really thought about your future with the Scouts. You just focused on the task you were given, and worked hard. You didn’t think you would actually be considered a leader. Maybe all those years on your own did actually pay off somehow. You were confident in your abilities, and it showed. You didn’t know that you had a ton of admirers already in the Scouts who looked up to you and wanted to learn from you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just need to let our girl know that she’s the best!” Hange gushed while pulling you into a strong side huge. They squeezed you for a minute before letting you go all flustered. After three years, you still were not used to Hange’s ability of bursting your personal bubble with hugs and abrupt cheek kisses. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While you friends continued talking you looked around. Your eyes landed on Levi, Furlan, and Isabel. They were sitting far away from everyone, and looked to be talking intensely about something. You couldn’t help but think that there might have been another reason Erwin wanted those three in the Scouts. You wondered if he actually cared about their talent, or if it was something more. Maybe even personal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t realize you had been staring at Levi while you were trying to figure out Erwin’s reasons. Your eyebrows were knitted and your mouth was frowning, you looked like you were pissed off. Levi noticed you staring at him and saw your face. He immediately tensed, and looked right back at you. He tried a glare of his own, trying to get you to look away, but you kept staring.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck…” Levi let out in an exasperated breath. He cut off Furlan who was talking about checking Erwin’s office for the papers they needed for Lovof. Noticing his friend’s distant and pissed stare, he looked behind him to see you looking over at them with the same aggravated expression. Isabel was too busy stuffing her face with potatoes and looking at the sky to pay attention to either of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it Levi? Why is she looking at us like that?” Furlan turned his head back around to look at his friend again. He noticed his friend working very hard at hiding his emotions. Furlan knew how much it hurt Levi when you left them in such a sudden and angry hurry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I tried to run after her, but she got away.” Levi was standing in the living room with his hands on his knees. He was trying to hide his face from Furlan. He knew he couldn’t hide the raw intense pain he was feeling in his chest right now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, she just left? She just left without saying goodbye?” Furlan couldn’t believe it. He knew you would leave as soon as you got enough money, but to leave without a goodbye? You were like a sister to him, after all.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I c-couldn’t fucking catch her…” Furlan looked to his friend in surprise. It wasn’t normal for Levi to stutter. “Damn, I have a fucking headache now.” Levi grabbed his head with his hands and let out a broken groan.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All Furlan could do was watch as his closest friend suffered in silence.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Furlan had never seen Levi act that way before. He always hid his emotions, and even had Furlan convinced for the longest time that he was just emotionless. Sure, he saw Levi get angry, but other than that he kept his face guarded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was still glaring back at you. He didn’t even hear Furlan asking him questions. Clearly you still hated him, and he has been avoiding you so he didn’t have to hear you say those words again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Levi!” Furlan put himself in front of Levi’s view of you, forcing Levi to stop staring. When Levi’s attention was finally back at his group, Furlan sighed and shook his head. “You can’t keep avoiding her. You two need to talk to each other.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s been too busy, and so have we. I’ll wait till after the expedition.” Levi looked down at his food with his normal expressionless mask. He poked at his food, not hungry anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“After the expedition? Levi, we won’t even be here anymore. Did you forget why we are here in the first place?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), what are you thinking about?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You snapped from your lost mind to see Hange looking at you with their kind smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait...that’s your thinking face?” Tobias looked at you with humor and shock, “I thought you looked like you were about to go punch someone in the face.” He started laughing. You flushed while everyone joined in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, (F/N)’s face can cause fights when she thinks.” Hange said between laughs. You’ve never seen your face when you are thinking intently, so this realization was highly embarrassing. Hopefully no one got the wrong idea and thought that you were staring them down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was later in the afternoon now, and you were on your way to drop off reports from Mike to Captain Erwin’s office. Your friendship with Mike seemed to be back to normal again, and you didn’t feel the need to avoid him anymore. Hange had told him that what she said was a joke and that it wasn’t true. You couldn’t tell how he actually felt about the whole situation, but you were just glad that everything was back to normal now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As you made your way closer to Erwin’s office you saw a tall figure standing by the door. It looked as if they might have just exited the room, and they were trying to be nonchalant. As you got closer you realized that it was Furlan and he looked surprised to see you walking towards him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hello, Furlan,” you said trying to sound casual. Although you were suspicious of him, you wanted to take this chance and talk to him. “What a coincidence seeing you here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“H-Hello, (F/N),” he stuttered. It only made you more curious, but you let him continue. “I was just looking for Captain Smith, but he seems to be out right now. What are you doing here?” He started to rub the right side of his neck, a nervous habit he tended to use. He saw your eye lower a little at the movement, but you still kept your suspicions hidden.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was dropping off some reports from Mike at Captain Erwin’s office, but if he isn’t here then I will have to wait for him. Mike always has notes with his reports.” Which was the most annoying thing about Mike. His reports were always a jumbled mess. “You can wait with me if you wish. I mean...I would actually like to talk with you about something if that is okay, Furlan?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He still looked nervous and uncomfortable, but he still nodded his head yes and said, “Of course, (F/N). You can always talk to me.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You looked down at the reports in your arms feeling nervous all of a sudden. “I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I didn’t even say goodbye to you. I can’t imagine the pain I caused you, and I just needed to apologize to you before the expedition tomorrow. You have always been like an older brother to me, and if anything were to happen, I wanted us to be at peace again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up at him again, afraid of what you would see in his eyes. You were shocked to see he was looking at you adoringly. Like he used to look at you whenever you opened up about something or did something embarrassing. You shyly smiled up at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), of course, I forgive you,” he smiled at you. He wanted to hug you, but you had an arm full of reports, and he didn’t know if you still didn’t like human contact yet. “But you know I’m not the one who really needs an apology.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Your face immediately fell. You knew what he meant, and you didn’t want to talk to him yet. It was too hard to talk to Levi about personal things. It was easy with Furlan because he tried to relate to you, even if he didn’t. With Levi, it was difficult. You never knew what he was actually thinking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will eventually ,” you sighed, looking defeated. “I’m just not ready for that yet. Plus, I know for a fact he is avoiding me too, so he’s not exactly making it easy to talk to him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How about I talk to him at dinner and try to get him to agree to hear you out?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to inconvenience you, Furlan. You really don’t need to do that for me, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For the sake of my two friends, I want to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Apparently Furlan’s attempts didn’t work because it was the next morning now and all the soldiers were lined up ready to travel to Wall Maria for the next expedition. You were at the front behind Erwin with Mike on your left side. All of your friends were with their respective squads. You couldn’t wait to get beyond the walls again and try the new formation out. You were all waiting for the bells to ring to indicate the opening of Wall Rose’s gate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You took a minute to look around you. There were citizens outside to see you off as usual, and they seemed to be mostly positive today. You looked around at all the soldiers behind you only to land on a pair of silver eyes already staring at you. Your heart skipped when you caught Levi’s eyes. He didn’t look mad, but you felt a pang in your chest because you hadn’t been able to speak to him yet. You couldn’t stand to look at him anymore, so you looked forward again and tried to keep your mind on your job.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The bells finally rang and the gate lifted. The Commander led the squads to the city of Shiganshina. Once there you all rode through the streets to the last gate to the land beyond the walls. You had to wait again for the Garrison to open the gates. They always seemed to take their sweet-ass time to do everything.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finally the gate opened, and Commander Shadis took this time to yell his inspirational words to the soldiers behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Today we take one step forward! Show me what you learned in training! Teach me the power of the human race! All troops, ADVANCE!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You all rushed forward through the gate. You felt the wind rush through your (H/C) hair that you decided to put in a half up and half down hairstyle. Like the rest of the soldiers you were wearing the Survey Corps uniform with the green cloaks draping over. Like the first expedition the bright sunlight was almost blinding, but your eyes adjusted. You could only imagine what Levi and Furlan were thinking. It was their first time outside the walls, after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sense of freedom was short lived however. You were passing a small wooded area when a fifteen meter Titan appeared.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Titan spotted!!!” Shadis’s and Erwin’s squad were the ones who saw it first. Shadis continued giving orders. “One fifteen meter class in the forest! It’s coming this way! It’s close, we can’t just slip by...there’s no choice! ENGAGE!! Vanguard with me, the rest of the force, keep advancing to the supply point!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and the rest of Erwin’s squad followed Shadis towards the fifteen meter Titan.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t let it out of the forest! Switch to maneuvering gear!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You did as you were commanded and switched to your 3DMGear. You each lifted off your horses flying towards the Titan. In order to kill titans smoothly, Erwin’s squad devised a plan that had Finn and Jon take out the ankles, Michele and Felix would stand by and jump in if needed, and you would always serve the final cut at the nape of the neck. This exact plan was followed through now and within a minute the large Titan was down on the ground already starting to disintegrate. You landed on its head and called your horse back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once you were all on your horses again, you started to leave the forest to get back in formation. However, you were greeted with another Titan that had apparently left the forest farther down when you all were busy with the fifteen meter one. It was a twenty meter class and appeared to be an abnormal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was right where Flagon’s squad was. There were three soldiers already trying to kill the Titan but the Titan managed to kill each one. Flagon’s squad had no choice but to engage themselves now. You and Erwin couldn’t help but watch in horror as the soldiers were being destroyed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then all of a sudden you saw three soldiers start to move in on the Titan. It was Levi, Furlan, and Isabel. By the look on Flagon’s face, it was clear that he did not order them to engage by themselves.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What the hell are they doing?!’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You watched in complete amazement as Levi attached himself to the back of the Titan. The Titan tried twisting around but Levi was hanging on in a place where it couldn’t reach. His blades were embedded in the Titan’s back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Now! Do it!” You heard him scream and then watched Isabel and Furlan slice through the Titan’s thighs. When the Titan was distracted by the pain in its legs, Levi detached himself from the back, flew in the air then landed on the nape and slicing it easily. You sat on your horse in complete shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘No fucking way.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So your wings are the real thing after all, Levi.” You heard Erwin whisper next to you. You couldn’t help but to silently agree with him as you watched Levi’s friends congratulate him on his first Titan kill.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never slept outside the walls before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was dusk now, and the Commander had chosen some castle ruins for the soldiers to stay for the night. You were dismounting your horse next to Michele who was complaining about having to sleep on stone floors. It indeed was the first time you would be sleeping outside the walls, but you also knew that you wouldn’t be actually sleeping. Of course, Titans were dormant overnight, but there could always be an exception.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah,” Michele looked over at you with her large green eyes, “I always forget that you haven’t been here that long! This is only your second expedition, but you fight and act like a veteran.” She paused for a moment while starting to lead her horse along with you to an open area where everyone was leaving their horses. “I’ll admit...at first I was jealous about the attention you received from the Captain, but I shouldn’t be. You are so much better than me, and I wouldn’t mind fighting alongside you, or behind you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She looked at you with a kind smile while putting her short black hair behind her ears. Michele was a very sweet woman, but her fear made her weak. She could kill a Titan just fine, but if the slightest inconvenience happened, she would immediately shut down. You once asked her why she joined the Survey Corps, and she said she didn’t have a specific reason. She just didn’t want to sit on a wall all day.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t really have anything to say back to her so you merely hummed in response. She didn’t take any offense to it and kindly left you to go inside with everyone else. You decided to take a little time with you horse, “Unnamed.” You refused to actually name your horse. You thought that if you don’t name it then it won’t be as sad if they were killed. You were petting his snout while you fed him some carrots you kept in your bag. He was a beautiful brown horse with a white stripe on his snout. His hair was a dark chocolate brown.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, (F/N), the Captain needs us to file some reports for him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up to see Mike standing on the opposite side of your horse. Lately Erwin has been having you help with reports. Because of the new formation there was a lot to document, and you were always the one stuck helping Mike sort through and fill them out. It was tedious and annoying, but it gave you a nice distraction from Levi at least.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well there goes my night,” you sighed. Not like you actually had anything to do, but you still wanted to complain. “Let’s go waste our lives with stacks of death, shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mike chuckled and walked beside you inside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was sitting against a wall between Furlan and Isabel. He saw you come in a minute ago with that guy who's always hanging around you. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never imagined we could stop a Titan that easily.” Levi looked over at Furlan who had a nervous but relieved smile on his face. Furlan didn’t plan on even leaving the walls, so for them to make it this far and even kill a Titan in the process was a huge relief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was unexpectedly fast, but if there’s just one, that’s no problem,” Levi huffed while digging in his sack.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Levi ‘the Invincible’ does just fine even against Titans,” cheered Isabel. It made some soldiers around them look over. Isabel was never really good at being quiet, especially when it came to praising Levi. He was like a big brother to her and she looked up to him a lot. “Just like I said, you’re super strong, Levi! As long as you’re with us, we’ll make it home alive somehow!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi had now set his blanket on the floor and was sitting on it. He leaned heavily against the wall from Isabel's words and looked straight ahead of him with his emotionless expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If we ever faced more than one of those Abnormals, I’m not so sure…” he trailed off before looking at Furlan. “But more importantly, Furlan…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really think he brought the documents?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were handed a pile of reports from Erwin when you entered with Mike. He was given a similar size of documents as well. You glanced around and found your friends standing together by a wall. Hange saw you and waved. They noticed the large stack of papers in your arms and put their thumbs down in annoyance. You just shrugged and followed Mike, Erwin, and Shadis down a hallway nearby. You walked all the way down to a room that looked like it used to be a study. It had a large table with some chairs in the middle. There was also a desk that Shadis chose to sit at. The room was very large and dusty. There were some candelabras lit throughout the room for some lighting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You rolled your eyes and sat at the table next to Mike with Erwin across from you. You set the reports down in front of you and started to sort through them. There didn’t seem to be a lot that you needed to fill out, but you had to put it all in order which took a while. You and Mike chatted a few times but it was only about the paperwork you were working on. It didn’t take you long to finish, and Erwin seemed to be done with his as well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good work, (L/N). Please, grab your reports and we’ll take them back to my bags.” He stood up and waited for you at the study’s door. You picked up your stack, being careful not to mix any papers around and walked with him back down the long hallway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been meaning to ask, (L/N),” Erwin said quietly, “when did you learn to read and write? Your handwriting is very clean. You must have had a good teacher.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I didn’t learn until I was sixteen, almost seventeen. After I had left the Underground I worked at an inn and the innkeeper taught me.” You had blushed a little at the compliment. You never thought anything of your handwriting, but it was nice to know that it was considered good.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s very inter-“ Erwin had abruptly stopped and was looking ahead of him with a suspicious look in his eyes. You followed his gaze and saw that Levi was standing against the wall in the middle of the hallway. He seemed to be waiting for something. You looked to Erwin again not sure about what was going on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked over at you two, but looked away quickly trying to hide his visible cringe. It seemed forever before Erwin took a few steps forward and decided to talk to Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you up to here alone?” Levi’s didn’t answer, so Erwin just continued. “Aren’t your subordinates with you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi sighed, but kept his eyes forward. He didn’t expect you to be here, and he couldn’t trust looking over at you right now. “They’re not my subordinates…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin started to walk again, so you followed him slowly. The tension was getting suffocating, and you hoped to get out of here soon, but to your surprise, Erwin stopped again to talk more. He stood a couple of feet in front of Levi, and you were stuck again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So...how are you adjusting to military life?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Ugh, why is he asking all these questions. This is so uncomfortable,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought to yourself. Yes, you wanted to talk to Levi, but not this way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lousy. All anyone ever talks about is the Titans, with that stifling look on their faces.” He still refused to look up. Nevertheless, Erwin still kept trying. You couldn’t help but admire his perseverance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. The Survey Corps attracts people like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi finally took a look at Erwin, and made a quick glance at you. He faced forward again keeping his face expressionless as much as possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure, with you at the top of that list,” Levi sneered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your fight today was brilliant. You defeated an Abnormal so easily on your first expedition. I’m sure having a natural like you around will make the others feel safer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked over at Erwin with wide eyes. Levi never expected to get praised by this man. He looked over at you again, but you didn’t seem as shocked as he felt. You agreed with Erwin, but you were still too uncomfortable to say anything yourself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Back then, there was a soldier who fought it first and got eaten.” He was facing the opposite wall again with a distant look in his eyes. “I figured out how to fight that Titan because I watched how it moved while it was eating him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I see…” Erwin turned his face forward towards the end of the hallway. “As you’ve realized, the Survey Corps was built upon countless such sacrifices. There are still too many things we don’t know about the outside world...but if it means taking back the world for humanity, I’m sure none of them regret dedicating their hearts to that cause. Not one. Right, (L/N)?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.” You were shocked that he brought you into this conversation, but everything he said was true. Humanity didn’t deserve to be cattle to the Titans. We didn’t deserve to live in fear behind walls.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You cringed at Isabel’s loud interruption. All three of you looked forward to see Isabel waving.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry I’m so late! I finished changing, so you can come on back!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Changed into what,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you angrily thought, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re still in your fucking uniform.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and Erwin stood in silence watching the two walk ahead. The whole situation was weird and it rubbed you the wrong way. After the two were out of sight, you and Erwin continued down the hallway in silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were now making your way over to Hange, Moblit, Elke, and Tobias. They were all laughing about something when you joined them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...should go over there and ask him!” Hange was saying when you joined the conversation. When Hange saw you next to them they pulled you in a side hug with their arm and gave you a kiss on the cheek. You immediately got flustered and they laughed at you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey guys, sorry I’ve been gone so long. Had to work on some reports with Mike and Erwin.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, no worries, (F/N),” reassured Tobias. He looked over at you with a mischievous look in his eyes. “Hange was just being a crazy scientist and was thinking about going over to Levi and asking for his secret.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked over at Hange in shock and distress.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hell no, Hange. They aren’t used to your personality, and might take you the wrong way. He’ll bite your head off.” You looked at your friend with desperation. Your friend was never shy, you knew that, but this was one of those times you wished that they were.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t worry about me,” she laughed while slapping your back with such force you were pushed forward into Moblit. He blushed and kindly placed you back to where you were. “I know you don’t want me to talk to them for other reasons, but I don’t care. It’s for the name of science, and damn it I need to know!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before you could grab them, they rushed over to where Levi, Furlan, and Isabel were sitting. You rushed behind Hange, but they reached them before you. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You got a second?” Hange seemed to have interrupted their conversation. They definitely were not happy to see them there. You were a couple steps behind Hange and your hands were on your cheeks in horror. “I was watching you…at the crucial moment!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh for fucks sakes, Hange.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>They looked very upset, and didn’t like that Hange said they were watching them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was the one to speak, “Crucial moment?” You were the only one to see him slowly move his hand behind him which made you tense. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange was too excited to notice the anger radiating off of the three of them, but you felt it all. Your hands were now at your sides prepared to jump between them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do I…” Hange was confused by the question. “When you defeated the Titan, of course!” They looked at Hange in shock.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Something is going on here...they must be planning something bad. But what? What could be causing them to be so on edge?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was incredible,” Hange screamed, “I boiled over with excitement in spite of myself!!” Almost everyone was looking over at this strange scene now. It just made you even more uncomfortable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks…” Levi said awkwardly. He now noticed you standing a few feet behind Hange looking like you were about to pounce if things got out of hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange turned too look at you quickly, and pulled you over next to them. They pulled you so hard you thought you heard your shoulder pop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Hange Zoë! You’re Levi, aren’t you?” They then looked over to Isabel, “That girl is Isabel...and you...err…” Hange looked at you for help.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s Furlan,” you whispered uncomfortably. Hange was still holding on tight to your arm, and your face felt hot. Furlan looked disappointed to be the only one that Hange didn’t know the name of.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, right!” Hange started to sit down, pulling you with them. You were both now in between Isabel and Furlan. Hange was next to Furlan, and when they sat down they slapped Furlan in the shoulder and said, “Furlan! Nice to meet you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were trying to make yourself as small as possible feeling Levi’s gaze on you. Hange’s grip was tight and she refused to let you go. You stared at the floor pretending the stone was the most interesting thing in the world.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi,” Hange continued with they maniacal grin, staring at Levi with intensity, “you didn’t go through the Training Corps, did you? So how did you get so good at vertical maneuvering?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You regret never telling her that you had used the 3DMGear before joining the Corps. Maybe this wouldn’t be happening right now if they knew.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘No, Hange’s trying to force you in their group. They would have done this no matter what.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked at Hange silently while they looked back at him with excited anticipation. Furlan leaned over and whispered, “Be nice.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I practiced,” Levi sighed, “a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF!?” Hange couldn’t contain their absolute shock. To them this was a scientific discovery. “It was hard for me even to get my balance with the belts at first...is there some secret trick to getting to the next level?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, you state it so plainly. Even a small hint would be good, though…” Hange looked at you and then around at everyone behind them. Practically the whole room was looking over at you all. “See? Everyone would like to know. Everyone saw you fight. You’ve given them hope that humans don’t have to lose to the Titans if we fight correctly. It was really outstanding.” Hange was looking back at Levi now. “That’s why I insist…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up at Hange and were about to tell them that this was silly and that you two should leave, but Isabel interrupted you. She was laughing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re amazing, right?! Now you see it, right?!” She was leaning forward looking at Hange with a childish excitement. Hange looked over at her with a kind smile. You were pretty sure your face was filled with annoyance. You just wanted to get out of here already.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was amazing. That’s why I insist on hearing the trick from Levi…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, Levi’s the strongest!! Even in the Underground, he’s number one!” You rolled your eyes at that. This girl clearly admired Levi. You didn’t realize Levi was watching you this whole time. He was embarrassed that Isabel was talking so highly of him, and he might have been hoping you would retort with a sarcastic remark.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that so?” Hange glanced at you and raised their eyebrows. They still had a Titan death grip on your arm. “I’d like to hear the secret to the strength..how about it, Levi-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi’s uhh ummm...ANYWAY, HE’S STRONG!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, right, Isabel,” Hange grabbed a pouch from their belt, “As a sign of our new friendship, would you like a treat?” Hange handed the pouch to Isabel who grabbed it and immediately ate whatever was in it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Wow, how old is this girl?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How about it? Could I get you to tell me what you think?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi removed his gaze from you to look back at Hange. He was annoyed that you hadn’t said a word this whole time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll pass. I do it my own way. It’s not something I can teach other people.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But…” Hange looked disappointed. They loosened their grip on you, but you still didn’t move.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, but I’m tired.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I see...sorry to disturb your rest. Come along, (F/N). I’m sorry I dragged you over here.” Hange stood up and pulled you with them. They dropped your arm and started to walk away. “Thank you too, Isabel and Furlan. Let’s have a longer talk later. If you come back alive, I’ll treat you to a meal!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You slowly turned around to follow them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N).” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked back quickly to see Levi looking at you with expectant eyes. A few feet ahead, Hange had noticed you weren’t by them and stopped to wait for you. For a moment his silver eyes hypnotized you, keeping you frozen in place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You need to talk to him.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You sighed and looked back at Hange. You could feel your limbs getting heavier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You guys should get some rest. It will be a long day tomorrow,” you said flatly. You started to walk away to where Hange was waiting for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a lot later into the evening and you were the only one awake. You had taken out your pillow, sleeping pad, and blanket, but you had no intention to use it. You also removed your jacket and boots to be a little more comfortable, but you sat up looking at the sleeping bodies around you with stress. You should have taken that time to talk to Levi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Why do I keep running away from him? Ever since the first time I did in the Underground, it’s all I ever do now when I see him.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You sighed quietly and put your head in your hands. Hange and Elke were by your sides sleeping soundly. You decided to explore and find a spot to sit alone. You couldn’t stand being around people right now. You grabbed your boots and put them back on. There were a few candelabras lit around the large room so you were able to walk around sleeping soldiers relatively easily. With a cloth from your pocket you grabbed a single candle to help light the way for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You walked the long hallways committing the path to your memory so you would be able to return without getting lost. You happened upon a set of thin stairs that led to what used to be a bedroom. The ceiling was completely destroyed and half the walls were missing, but it gave you a perfect view of the moon. The fresh air felt great in your lungs while you took a deep breath. You walked to the edge and sat down, letting your legs hang over the side. You leaned back on your hands and let your head hang back, absorbing the moon's light. You were too oblivious to the sound of someone walking slowly into the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to talk. Now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You jumped and turned to see Levi standing behind you by the door. He was leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. His silver eyes were staring at you with the same expectation as before, but his expression was pissed. He was gritting his teeth and impatiently waited for you to start speaking. You saw him put a hand through his raven black hair and take in a sharp breath. You were taking too long.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” you sighed. You turned back to the moon while indicating with your hand for him to sit beside you. Your heart pounded as he made his way over and sat next to you. He was about a person apart from you, but you still felt chills from him being so near you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, but you avoided me,” he said blankly. You could feel his glare on you while he continued, “Yeah sure, at first I was fucking avoiding you too, but then Furlan told me that you apologized to him. So, what? Was my friendship or whatever not fucking worth as much as his?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You thought you heard his voice crack at the word “his,” but you ignored it. Levi never stuttered or faltered when he spoke. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not it.” You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them. Your hands start to shake so you tighten your grip to hide it. “It’s just different with you, I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell does that even mean, (F/N)?” You glanced over at him. He was turned towards you. His usual masked face was pulled in an angry scowl, but his eyes held a different meaning, but you couldn’t place it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Furlan was always there. I mean, you were too, but he was always asking questions, and trying to get to know me.” You were talking quietly now, so Levi was forced to lean more towards you. “But you’re right. I should have talked to you right away. The things I said back then weren’t true. I didn’t mean a single word, and I truly apologize for leaving you that way.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked at you for a while silently. He didn’t expect for you to apologize right away. He had a whole speech prepared in case you tried talking around it again. He was definitely relieved to hear that those words weren’t true, but there was still something bothering him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So because I didn’t try to force you to talk about your personal life, you don’t trust me as much as Furlan?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, I trusted you with my life. I mean, I still do, but I trusted Furlan with words. Sure, I thought he could be a little nosy, but I had you to protect me and share tea with. We had a completely different relationship. I guess what I’m saying is I care for you two equally but differently.” You looked at him again. His eyes were wide, but he looked a lot more calm. “I don’t understand how normal friendships work, Levi. I mean, my best friend is the crazy person that asked if you had a secret power…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>your best friend?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyways,” you continued, rolling your eyes at him, “I shouldn’t have kept you waiting so long. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I accept your apology. I’m also sorry for not trying to get to know you more before. Like I’ve said before, I didn’t think you wanted to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t, but you know how Furlan is,” you said with a shrug. Levi did know how Furlan was. He was probably the kindest between the three of you. Levi knew he shouldn’t have been mad about all the times you chose to open up to Furlan more than him, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted your attention too. “You don’t need to apologize to me. I’m glad we finally talked though.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi just hummed in response. He watched you gaze at the moon. At some point you had stopped shaking. You couldn’t help but admire the sky tonight. There were a few puffy clouds here and there, but it was mostly clear. The stars were shining around the moon, and you just couldn’t help but feel happy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were back in the formation riding with your squad. There had been a total of at least fourteen Titan sightings, and thanks to the smoke signals you were able to change course multiple times. You were in a relatively good mood. You finally talked to Levi and it seemed everything was going to be okay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you noticed, Erwin?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked to see Commander Shadis riding next to Erwin, who you were riding behind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Erwin answered. You couldn’t see his face, but he sounded distressed. “Those clouds don’t look good.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up to see that in a short amount of time large grouping of dark clouds had formed in a short distance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Squad Leader, the sky!” You heard Michele yell behind you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell,” Mike grunted while looking up. He was riding next to you as usual. “It’s unusual for them to form so quickly.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Be careful, all of you,” announced Erwin. “Something terrible is coming.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Within seconds of his warning you were surrounded and drenched in a raging rain storm. You could barely see Erwin ahead of you, and Mike was a blur beside you. You tried to pull up your hood to cover your ponytail, but you were already soaked through. The rain started to cause a fog on the ground making it even more difficult to see. All you could do was use your hearing to follow the horses in front of you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You heard Erwin try to use a smoke signal in front of you, but even from where you were riding you couldn’t see it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Squad Leader,” you yelled ahead, “we can’t see any signals! Should we wait for a messenger?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A messenger?! In </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” It sounded like Mike was the one to answer you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t close your eyes!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You eventually got your hood up to help cover your eyes from rain constantly running down your face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Commander!” It sounded like Erwin once again. Still right ahead of you, thankfully. “Unfortunately, we can no longer scout ahead! We should expect to encounter a Titan at any moment!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘We’ll be lucky if we make it out of this alive.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was riding along with Furlan and Isabel. They seemed to have lost sight of the rest of their squad when the rain began to fall. The fog kept getting worse, but he figured they couldn’t be that off course. If everyone had kept moving forward, they should still be in their formation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve got no choice but to keep going like this!” Furlan was shouting behind Levi. Levi could barely see him. “We shouldn’t be too far away from the guys in the squad. If we want to meet up with them we’ve got no choice but to pray that the fog clears up quickly, rather than blindly changing course!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“At this rate, we won’t be able to use the flares no matter how long we wait,” Isabel stated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If squad leader Flagon’s sound grenade is still working then we might be able to meet up with them if we get lucky.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Scouting is hopeless,” complained Isabel, “I can only see a few meters at best. It’s almost like I can hear Titans breathing all around us.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That made all three of them even more uneasy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…” said Furlan, “this is bad, you two. After all if Erwin gets eaten, we won’t be able to get the papers back.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But if Erwin gets eaten, then (F/N)...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s thoughts were interrupted by loud high pitched ringing noise.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The sound grenade! Is it our squad?!” Isabel yelled as the rain kept pouring down on her and her comrades.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that far,” said Furlan. “Sounds like we might be able to join them somehow, but...Levi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘If the three of us go, the team we leave behind will be shorthanded,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi thought to himself, trying to think of the best course of action. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>If I go alone there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find them again…pick one.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He continued on in silence. His brain felt like it was going to burst.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s no time to waver. (F/N) could also be in danger…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going alone.” He heard Isabel gasp. “You two join up with Flagon.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey…” Furlan wasn’t happy with the idea of Levi just setting off on his own alone without them to help.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get the documents...and then...I’ll be the one to kill him. I won’t let him get eaten by a Titan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I won’t let </span>
  </em>
  <span>her </span>
  <em>
    <span>either.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi! I’m going too!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Isabel. What do you think? Just me, or Flagon and Sairam? Who’s more likely to become Titan chow?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Isabel looked at him with shock before realizing what he was saying. Levi was strong on his own, there was no denying that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If the four of you stay together, it’ll raise their chances of survival.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi,” yelled Furlan, “keep your cool and think! If you wait a little the fog might clear up!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you saying the Titans will wait until then?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nevermind that, just listen!!” This was the angriest Levi has ever heard Furlan. “We don’t know where the Titans will appear in a situation like this! Acting alone is dangerous!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard you already!” Levi was getting pissed. The more they rode along arguing the more time the Titans had to get you. “I can do it myself! Trust me!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that an </span>
  <em>
    <span>order</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Levi?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was surprised by Furlan’s accusation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“An order...why does it have to come to that? I’m just…” Levi was having a hard time thinking of what to say. This whole situation was insane. “The two of you…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was interrupted by Furlan laughing. He was looking over at Levi kindly, and showed no sign of anger anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, I’ll trust you...don’t die.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Make sure you come back, Levi!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi took one last glance at his friends before turning away and riding his horse ahead of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had felt like forever following close behind Erwin. Mike was still riding beside you. At some point you all heard a sound grenade go off, and Erwin immediately ordered the two of you to follow him. He was worried that a team had gotten in a terrible situation and felt he needed to go there. The fog had finally started to let up, but it seemed that in a short distance…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the steam of fallen Titans, Captain,” you said looking ahead. It was still raining, but that steam was unmistakable. You could also feel the heat of it from here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“To have defeated that many at one time…” Mike couldn’t contain his shock. You all assumed that it was Flagon’s squad to use the sound flare, but Levi couldn’t have done this all by himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it him?” Erwin started riding his horse towards the steam while he asked that question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s no way. Not one person could possibly cause this much damage to multiple Titans.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As you rode on you noticed a figure kneeling down looking at the ground. You noticed his raven hair hiding his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi,” you gasped. He looked to the side to see you riding with Erwin and Mike. Once you were all close enough, you dismounted your horses.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you the only one left?” Erwin was walking towards Levi slowly. He wasn’t sure the state Levi was in right now. “The corpses of these Titans...you did this </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before you could react Levi jumped on Erwin tackling him to the ground. He immediately pulled out his blades. Mike pulled out his blades and started to get ready to charge.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, what hell-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay back!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were cut off by Erwin. Mike reluctantly stopped, glaring at Levi. You and Mike had no idea what was going on, but it seemed Erwin wasn’t worried at all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Erwin,” hissed Levi, “I’m going to fucking kill you, you bastard.” He paused as he raised his blade to Erwin’s throat. “That’s why I’m here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You watched in shock as Erwin calmly looked back at Levi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So they all died? I see…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You started to look around. Your eyes landed on a body- well half of a body- behind Levi. It was Furlan. You felt your chest close on you and you gasped. Levi’s hand gripped his blade at your reaction. He refused to look in your direction. He needed to keep his focus. He watched as Erwin dug in his jacket pocket and pulled out the very documents he and his comrades had been looking for.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“These are what I supposedly have on Nicholaus Lovof.” Erwin dropped the papers to the ground in front of Levi’s feet. Levi’s eyes widened, and his face grew pale.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So...you knew?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, you’re too late.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Levi rasped, poking Erwin with his blade, “what are you trying to say here?!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a bluff.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew that Lovof was embezzling. The military funds left over from the suspension of the Survey Corps these last few years. I spread false information because I wanted definitive proof to back him into a corner.” You watched as Erwin looked ahead telling this story, and felt completely at a loss for words. “This was Lovof we’re talking about, and he’s cautious. I thought he would make some kind of move first to confirm the existence of the documents. As I expected, he hired you three.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Levi was hired to </span>
  </em>
  <span>kill </span>
  <em>
    <span>Erwin?!’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If he’d made a move then there’d surely be some trace. Following those back, it didn’t take much time for the proof to fall into my hands. I was able to pick up on him because he made a move from his end.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...Knowing that much...why did you bring us into the Corps?” Levi was having a hard time controlling his emotions. To think that they could have been spared if they had known this sooner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“One reason was your exceptional military prowess, and another was to use you as partners to throw off Lovof.” He looked up at Levi who was still holding the blade to his throat. Mike was still holding a scowl, and you were just standing there, listening to Erwin’s brilliant plan that hurt someone you cared about. “But there’s no longer any need for that. The real documents are currently in the hands of Commander-in-Chief Zackly. It’s all over for Lovof.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t...worth throwing away their lives!” You suddenly whipped out your blades and Mike prepared to pounce. You could tell Levi was suffering more by the second. “They were nothing but pawns in your worthless game. WELL YOU LOSE!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi!” You screamed the same time Mike yelled, “Captain!” Levi was going to try to stab him, but you watched in shock as Erwin grabbed the blade with his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Worthless game?” Erwin stared at Levi with anger, and spoke through gritted teeth. “Who’s the one that killed my subordinates, your friends? Was it me? Was it you?” He started to stand still holding the blade and slightly pushing it to the side. “Do you think that if you had come to attack me together that the two of them would have made it out alive?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi scowled and said, “That’s right, it was my conceit. My damned pride is to blame…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“NO!!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin’s yell made you all jump. He pushed Levi’s blade all the way to the ground still glaring at the raven haired man. His hand was bleeding.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was the TITANS!” He kept his hold on the blade as he got into Levi’s face and continued to speak to him. “Where did the Titans come from? Why do they exist? Why do they eat people? We don’t know! We’re completely ignorant. And as long as we stay ignorant, they’ll keep eating us. We’ll never turn the tables on them by staying inside the walls. In this wide open place, there are no walls, no matter how far you go. Here, there might be something to free us from our despair. But there are people who would keep us from leaving the walls. They stay where danger can’t reach them. Obsessively thinking only of their own profits and losses. It’s understandable. The clouded eyes of mankind, blocked for a hundred years by the walls, they can’t see the other side.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin now stood in front of Levi. He grabbed his collar by one hand, towering over the shorter man.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you, Levi? Have your eyes remained clouded? Will you kill me and return back to the dark Underground?” He let go of Levi before taking a step back. “We won’t give up on going outside the walls. Fight with the Survey Corps, Levi! Humanity needs your skill!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sudden quiet hit you like a punch to the face. You had started to cry silent tears during Erwin’s speech. Your respect for your captain had grown immensely today. You were looking at Levi. His face was filled with pain and confusion. He looked up at the sky. After a few moments he looked back at you and dropped his blade to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“From here on out there’s no deal…” Erwin looked at Levi in silence before nodding once and then turning towards you and Mike.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hurry! We’re heading for the supply wagon team to get dry sound grenades. (L/N), we didn’t bring an extra horse, so I need you to let Levi ride with you.” You nodded to your Captain as you quickly placed your blades back. “We’ll reform the Corps using that point as a base.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The Titans might become more active once the weather clears up,” Mike told Erwin after mounting his horse. You had mounted yours as well and watched as Levi walked over to you. He pulled himself up, sitting behind you. You felt him wrap his arms around you and put his head on your shoulder. If you weren’t so upset about Furlan, this gesture would have made you happy, but right now it just felt sad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll meet up with the Vanguard leaders before our losses become greater, and we’ll return alive!” With that Erwin nudged his horse to start galloping with Mike and you following behind. You felt Levi’s head raise from your shoulder to look back. You kept your eyes forward as fresh tears fell on your cheeks.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Loss and Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After about an half hour of riding behind Erwin and Mike, with Levi holding on to you, the supply wagon squad came into view. You saw Hange and Moblit riding together farthest from you. The ride gave you enough time to calm your emotions and dry your eyes, but it also gave you time to worry about another friend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Was Tobias still with Flagon’s squad when the storm happened? I didn’t see his body when we were there…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The weather had calmed quite a bit during the ride. There was no more fog and it had stopped raining now. In the sky, the angry clouds had separated, leaving only a few stragglers behind. You don’t know if you will be able to see storms the same way again. You used to see storms as calming, but now you realize they just bring death and pain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Captain Müller,” yelled Erwin, snapping you back to reality, “halt your squad, this will now be a temporary base. Do you have any dry sound grenades we can use to alert squads of our location?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The three of your horses stopped beside the supply wagon squad. Hange, who can read your face like a book, looked over at you with worry. You looked emotionless to others, but in Hange’s eyes you looked numb and on the verge of crying. They also noticed a rather strong hold of a familiar short man behind you gripping onto your waist as if you were all he had left in the world.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We have a few we managed to cover in time,” answered Müller while he walked over to a wagon reaching in, flipping aside a tarp, and then grabbing a sound grenade. He walked over to Erwin and handed it over. “Here you are, Captain.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. I’m going to sound this off, and we’ll wait for the rest of the formation to rejoin us. We’ll take that time to replenish our supplies, and then we will most likely be heading back to the walls. Please, take this time to rest.” With that Erwin lifted his arm in the air and set off the sound. Everyone nearby covered their ears so the sound wouldn’t destroy their eardrums.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both you and Levi dismounted your horse. When you landed on the ground you stumbled a little. Your legs have never felt so weak before. You have never felt so weak before. Levi grabbed your arm to steady you. His usual stoic face was filled with worry looking at you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), do you want to sit down? Do you have any water left?” His voice was shaking. It sounded almost as if he was trying to force his emotions down. You took a deep breath to help calm your aching chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Levi,” you exhaled. You grabbed onto your horse’s saddle to help balance yourself. You stared at the ground to avoid Levi’s piercing gaze while his hand held onto your forearm. You knew that if you looked him in the eyes right now you would start crying. “You should replenish your supplies. You have no blades left, and who knows how low you are on gas right now. Don’t worry about me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’m not worried about </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>right now.” His hold on you tightened slightly, refusing to let go. Your breathing was shallow and your head started to ache. You needed him to leave you. You needed to think.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, please. Don’t worry about me. Take the time given to prepare yourself. You never know when another Titan will appear.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grip loosened and he dropped his hand in defeat. He couldn’t help but  agree with you. You were right, after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘How can I protect her if I don’t have anything to protect her with?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>He looked at you holding on to the horse and staring at the ground. You had put your hair in a ponytail this morning, but from the rain and the constant wind, the ponytail had fallen. Your hair was plastered around your face and your clothes were still relatively soaked. Your eyes were red and puffy. Levi assumed he didn’t look much better.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, but I’ll be right back,” he snapped. He didn’t want to admit you were right, of course. “Drink some water while I’m gone, please?” His voice had softened at the word please. In another situation it would have made your heart skip, but you felt nothing now. Just pain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You slowly nodded your head yes, and he hesitantly walked away from you. You watched him from the corner of your eye as he grabbed blades and replaced his gas tanks. Others tried talking to him, asking about his squad, but he ignored everyone. He kept his emotions hidden, and glared at anyone who was persistent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N)...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up to see Hange standing beside you now. Moblit was somewhere helping keep watch for soldiers and Titans. Hange’s face was riddled with concern. For the first time, they restrained themselves from hugging you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened? Where’s the rest of Flagon’s squad?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange...I don’t know. I only saw Furlan’s dead body. I-I don’t k-know where Tobias is…” You were starting to lose control again. Hange placed a hand on your shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you ask Levi? He might have seen him…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He was probably too busy killing five Titans all by himself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, shitty-glasses. Leave her alone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You both looked over to see Levi standing behind you. You slowly turned around, keeping your right hand on your horse's saddle. You still felt weak, but you needed to ask Levi about Tobias. Levi was gripping an extra canteen he found, and was now glaring at Hange. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, she’s my friend. Stop,” you said rolling your eyes. “I need to ask you a question.” You closed your eyes tight and swallowed hard. Preparing for the worse. “Do you remember seeing Tobias? He was the really tall guy with blond hair and brown eyes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When I arrived everyone was fighting or being eaten by Titans…” He looked down at the ground, realizing what he just said. He hadn’t mentioned he hadn’t been with them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait,” you put your left hand up while gripping the saddle tighter, “you weren’t with your squad? Did you get separated in the rain or…” You trailed off, realization marking your face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange looked over at you in confusion. You didn’t know if you should tell her about the confrontation that happened, so you will have to tread lightly here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me guess, you left your squad in the middle of a storm to finish your </span>
  <em>
    <span>job?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi flinched at your words. You had let go of the saddle now. Your hands were clenched in fists at your sides. Hange looked surprised and their eyes shifted between you and Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a mistake. I thought the best thing to do was to go on my own, so Isabel and Furlan would be there to help them. I didn’t know there would be an ambush…Tobias was being eaten by a Titan when I reached them…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange put a hand to their mouth and started to sob. Your whole body started to shake, but you kept your face stoic. This was too much for you. You lost two dear friends in one day, and you still didn’t know where Elke was. She wouldn’t be able to control her pain. You took in a sharp painful breath, and glared at Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck you, Levi.” You stormed off to the edge of the makeshift base to help watch for soldiers and Titans. You didn’t turn to look back at Levi who was looking at you in pure devastation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Elke didn’t take the news well at all. When she arrived she was frantically looking for all of her friends. She had found you last with Hange and Moblit running behind her. You had been far away from everyone else. You had calmed down quite a bit, and were starting to feel bad about getting so angry with Levi. He had already regretted leaving his friends, and you knew he was already suffering as much as you were. You would have to apologize to him later, but right now Elke was in front of you, gripping your shoulders in desperation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Tobias?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her normally beautiful sky blue eyes were filled with tears and worry. Her skin was unusually pale and almost lifeless. Her strawberry blonde hair was all over the place and still drying. She was hanging on by a thin thread, and you knew that what you were about to tell her would make her snap.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ I’m so sorry, Elke, but…” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t get to finish. She fell to the ground with a scream of absolute agony. Soldiers near you looked over in concern. You just stood there while Hange rushed over and grabbed a tight hold around Elke. She screamed and sobbed in Hange’s arms while you and Moblit stood by and watched. Moblit was silently crying, holding on to his right arm with his left hand. Your eyes were dry, you didn’t feel like you could cry anymore. Your face was frozen in a stoic expression, watching as your friend fell apart before your eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was watching from a distance. He was given a spare horse and was currently trying to get acquainted with it. He was watching you, holding the same stoic expression he held. He watched as you kept your hands clenched watching your friend cry in pain. He wanted to hold you, but knew that he shouldn’t. You never liked physical contact already, and the way you looked at him earlier, eyes filled with anger and pain, he knew he was the last person you wanted to see right now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Overcome with grief, your legs gave out on you and you fell to the ground on your knees. Your arms kept you from landing face first in the mud. You were on all fours looking at the ground, your heart had shattered, and you felt your lungs beg for air. You thought you were prepared for Elke’s pain, but it had hurt you more than finding out Tobias didn’t make it. It hurt more than learning Levi left his squad to kill someone you admire. It hurt more than waking up in an alleyway in pain and bleeding after being raped for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Elke’s pain was excruciating, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You couldn’t help her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed the only squad to be almost wiped out was Flagon’s. Levi was the only survivor. There were a few other casualties, but it wasn’t as bad as everyone thought it would be. Once all the squads had regrouped, the Commander announced that it was time to return to the walls. If the storm hadn’t happened, the formation would have continued further to another set of ruins for the evening.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Elke had finally stopped screaming, and was now riding with her squad once again. She kept her head down, and you could tell she was still crying from her shaking shoulders. You were up front once again behind Erwin and Mike. Levi was beside you and the rest of the squad rode behind. Levi kept looking over at you in concern, but kept his face neutral.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop it, Levi. I’m fine,” you hissed at him. You kept your voice low, but loud enough for him to hear you. You were still a little mad at him, and wanted him to leave you alone. It was bad enough that the formation would have to stop somewhere and camp for the evening, and now you would have to try to avoid Levi again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes in annoyance at your stubbornness. All he wanted to do was apologize and try to fix this strained friendship again. You had always seemed to get under his skin so easily. He had never cared about what other people thought of him till you came along. He remembered watching you with Furlan, before you three officially met, take down two grown ass men on your own in the Underground. He and Furlan had learned that your usual job was to assassinate criminals who caused trouble with local citizens. This job was no exception.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They watched from a rooftop as you used yourself as bait. You walked by them with a sweet smile on your face and your hands behind your back. Levi remembered how shiny your (H/C) hair looked in the dimmed lamplight, and how your (E/C) eyes shined with mischief. The men took to you easily. Which was no surprise, you were young and beautiful, and looked small and weak.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the men tried to grab at your arm, but you were faster and easily sliced off his fingers with a knife you pulled from your back pocket. The man grabbed his hand in pain and shock, while the other reacted in anger and tried to lunge at you. You gracefully side stepped him and then quickly stabbed him in the back through the heart. He fell to the ground with a loud thud and you stabbed him a couple more times to be sure. The first man had become afraid and quickly started to beg for his life. You merely giggled at him and grabbed your shotgun that you kept strapped to your back. You aimed it at his groveling form and shot him between the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi knew you were strong and able to take care of yourself. Just that memory alone was proof of that, but there was always a place deep inside that made him want to protect you no matter what. He never felt the full strength of that until the day you were being held by two men with a knife against your throat. They were talking about raping you and something in him snapped. He felt electricity course through his body and all he could think about was to fight. To kill those men holding you and Furlan. The same feeling happened when he saw Furlan and Isabel die right in front of his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You may be the strongest woman he knew, but there was no way in hell, from today and onward, that he was going to leave you. He needed to protect you because he doesn't want to lose you. Even if it made you hate him, he planned to stay by your side to the very end of his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and your friends sat in silence next to the fire. About two hours ago the formation found a clearing to set up for camp. There wasn’t enough time to find a proper shelter because it was getting dark quickly. Everyone was in low spirits and exhausted from the events of today. You felt chilled to the bone even though you were right next to the fire.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t realize Levi across from the fire staring at you. He was waiting for you to stand up so he could talk to you. He even put his tent close to yours so he could be near you, just in case.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N),” whispered Hange. They were leaning to the side towards you. You looked over at them, seeing their face filled with sadness. “You should go talk to Levi. It looks like you two have a lot to discuss.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange, don’t meddle,” you warned through gritted teeth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to talk to him, or you’ll lose another friend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You sighed in defeat at Hange’s blunt but true words. You couldn’t keep avoiding Levi. He was clearly here to stay, and it didn’t look like he was going to give up on you either any time soon. You pinched your nose before standing up. You looked over at Levi to see him staring at you already. You nodded to the left, silently communicating for him to follow you. He stood up as well and followed behind you till you reached the area near your tents.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a tree nearby and you sat down, laying your back against it and wrapping your cloak around you to keep warm. Levi sat next to you, and patiently watched you, waiting for you to speak first.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for reacting the way I did earlier,” you spoke quietly. You never personally liked to apologize because it showed weakness, but in this situation it seemed necessary. You looked straight ahead of you, refusing to look in Levi’s eyes. “It’s like Erwin said, it’s not your fault. It’s the Titans. They just take everything you care about and destroy it. If we ever want to be free from the walls, we have to kill them first.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It still doesn’t change the fact that I made the wrong decision. I left my friends to do a fucking job that wasn’t even real. It cost them their lives…” he trailed off. He started to reach out to your shoulder, but stopped himself. He let out a sigh and continued, “I keep thinking back to that first day of my training when you said if I’m not careful I could be the reason someone dies...I didn’t listen to you and because of that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m the reason someone died.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you made up for it by completely destroying five Titans by yourself. I don’t think even I could have done that. It’s like that time in the Underground when those guys captured me and Furlan, and you easily took them down without any issues.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it felt like that night too.” He was looking at his hands now. He was sitting crossed legged, and had put his hands in his lap. “All I could think about was protecting you. I couldn’t let the Titans go. I needed to make sure that they wouldn’t hurt anyone else, like they did to Furl-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up at him in shock. His eyes were squeezed shut trying to prevent any tears from leaving. He didn’t want to show any weakness in front of you. You had never seen him show so much emotion as you have today, and it made you feel even worse. You had forgotten that he lost friends too. He let out a shaky breath and looked up at the sky.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The moon was a full moon tonight and it kept the surrounding area in light. It was a beautiful night considering the horrible day it has been. Levi’s eyes in the moonlight were a pleasant silvery-blue. The darkness of his hair made them even more bright. The moonlight made his features stand out. He looked really handsome.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi, just promise we’ll stay friends until we die. I can’t imagine losing you, but pushing you away would be too hard. Just promise me you’ll be there for me and I’ll be there for you…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You refused to look at him again. This was embarrassing to say, but it was the truth. You needed him in your life. He was the only person, other than Hange, who understood your personality. The only other person who could read you like a book and understood how to help you. Without him you felt incomplete, and leaving the first time was the hardest thing you ever had to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I promise. I wasn’t going to leave you even if you wanted me to anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You chuckled at that, but felt a wave of heat flow through your body from relief. He was going to stay by your side. He was going to stay your friend. You finally looked over at him and saw him staring at you. He smirked slightly at you and put his hand on your shoulder and squeezed.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Strange Behaviour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The next day you returned to the Survey Corps headquarters, safely hidden behind the walls again. Elke immediately took personal leave to be with her and Tobias’s family. She was going to be gone for a few weeks. You, Hange, and Moblit joined her at the entrance to say goodbye. You personally paid for her journey in advance so she wouldn’t have to worry about it. Her mother, who had retired this year, would be waiting for Elke in their village.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t have to pay for me, (F/N),” sighed Elke. You merely shrugged your shoulders with your hands behind your back. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. This was probably the third time she has said something like that, and it was annoying you. “I’ll pay you back when I return…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was looking down at her hands now. Her eyes were rimmed with red and you could tell she didn’t sleep last night. She didn’t even take a shower when we returned from the expedition. Her normally beautiful flowing hair was matted and greasy, and she had dark circles under her eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hange walked forward and hugged Elke, squeezing her tight. They said something to her quietly and then let her go. Moblit hugged her next and rubbed her back. You awkwardly stood by not sure if you should hug her too. You probably should. When Moblit released her, she looked over at you. She was crying again, and you felt your heart tug in your chest. You slowly walked over and closed your arms around her. She hugged you back silently and you felt her shoulders shaking. You couldn’t handle the physical contact anymore and let go of her backing away, crossing your arms. She gave you a knowing look but mouthed ‘thank you.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After some more goodbyes, Elke got on the travel wagon that would take her home. The three of you watched as she rode away. Hange was waving vigorously and sobbing, while Moblit stood next to them waving slightly. You just stood on Hange’s other side with your arms still crossed watching her go. You felt as if you were empty of all tears. The night before you let out all your frustrations in your tent. You cried silently in your pillow until your eyes stayed shut and slept for a couple of hours.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today was the first day of your two days off, and you had no idea what you were going to do now. You were actually wearing leisure clothes and you felt uncomfortable in them. You wore black trousers that were very similar to your military trousers, a (F/C) loose fitting long sleeved shirt, and black flats. Your hair was down and still slightly damp from the shower you took after returning. Hange and Moblit were also in leisure clothing. Hange was wearing a black sweater and loose brown pants. Their hair was up in their normal sloppy ponytail. Moblit was in a white long sleeved undershirt and tan trousers. It was very strange to see you and your friends dress so casually. It seemed as if we hadn’t had a day off in a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’m going to walk around the town and grab something to eat,” started Hange. They had stopped crying and waving when Elke disappeared down the road. “Would either of you like to join me? You know, help keep our minds distracted?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and Moblit looked at each other. It was clear he wanted to go along, but you didn’t feel like socializing anymore. You felt like going to the library with a cup of tea and reading something.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You guys go ahead,” you said kindly, “I think I’ll just go read for awhile.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure, (F/N)?” Moblit asked you. He and Hangie didn’t want to leave you alone, but they didn’t want to force you to come along either. They understood you needed your space, but they still worried about your well being. You were an immensely empathetic person, but you hid your feelings well. Hange personally thought that one of these days you were going to blow up with all the emotions you held inside. Kind of like when you laugh out loud at the most strange or inconvenient situations.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m sure. You guys have fun.” You gave them a slight smile before turning towards the entrance of HQ. You slowly walked up the steps and opened the large doors. You took a quick glance back at your friends watching them head out the gate.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>You were now reading in the library. You had made some black tea in the kitchen earlier and now had just finished your last sip. You were curled up on a lounge chair with your flats laying on the ground beside you. You were reading a book about a man who had lost his family to a killer and how he spent his life searching for them. It was rather interesting and it distracted you from your thoughts. You were the only one in the library besides a woman working at the desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“(F/N).”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The whispered voice made you jump. You made a quiet ‘oh’ sound while clutching your chest, breathing heavily. Your heart was beating fast and pounded against your chests and hand. You looked up from your chair to see Levi standing next to you with his stupid expressionless face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the hell, brat,” he whispered in his monotone voice, “I called your name like three times, and you act like I’m going to murder you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You scared the <em> shit </em>out of me, Levi,” you whispered back at him angrily. He walked over to the couch that was next to the lounge chair you were sitting in. He leaned back and crossed his legs towards you. You noticed he was also in leisure clothing. He was wearing an off-white long sleeved undershirt that had three buttons on the top, he kept one button loose and open. He also had on a pair of black trousers and a pair of well worn black loafers. You could see a piece of cloth sticking out slightly from one of his trouser pockets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looked over at you lazily before looking straight ahead of him before he said, “So, when did you learn to read and write?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You rolled your eyes at him. <em> Of course Levi refuses to apologize. What’s he doing here anyway? </em>You decided to humor him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“After I left the Underground. I worked at an inn, and the innkeeper taught me so I was prepared.” Seeing as Levi was in the mood to bother you right now, you closed your book and set it on a table beside you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, was he a good teacher?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You furrowed your eyebrows at him. It was strange for Levi to be interested in conversations, let alone ask questions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um, she was a good teacher, yes. She still sends me books sometimes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi twitched his fingers ever so slightly, making your eyebrows raise. He turned his face to you now and looked at you with an expression you couldn’t read. You couldn't help but feel a little bit suspicious with his actions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you have really good handwriting?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘What the fuck?’ </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know, Levi. I’ve been told it’s neat, I guess.” You looked at him with utter confusion. You’ve lived with this man before and he still manages to confuse you still. “I can write something if you're that interested.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh, sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You gave him a concerned look before standing up and heading to the desk to grab a slip of paper and ink pen. He watched you as you walked back and sat at the coffee table in front of him placing the paper down. He watched you as you wrote something, and he marveled at the look of concentration on your face. You softly nibbled your lip as you wrote the simple phrase, ‘<em> Hello, my name is (F/N).’ </em>You slid the paper over to Levi who leaned forward and grabbed it. Unbeknownst to you, Levi couldn’t read, but he was pleased that your handwriting was indeed clean and neat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well,” you demanded, making Levi look up from the piece of paper, “explain yourself, Levi. This is weird.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh. This was embarrassing for him, but you were the only one he knew, and the only one he was sort of comfortable enough to ask. He didn’t know of your teaching abilities, but it needed to be done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you teach me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you teach me to read and write...please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You looked at him closely trying to figure out if he was joking or not. You didn’t know much about Levi’s childhood because he never told you about it, but you had assumed he learned more things than you. However, now that you think about, Furlan was the one who always took care of papers. You could tell looking at Levi now that this whole situation made him uncomfortable. He doesn’t ask for help. Plus, he said please which is out of character as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to teach it properly. I might have to have help form Hange or someone…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh for fucks sakes, not shitty-glasses,” he growled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Levi Ackerman, do you want me to help you or not?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ugh, fine, but keep her away from me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You laughed at him, letting out one of your weird out of nowhere guffaws. This made the woman at the desk look over at you angrily. Levi just smirked at your outburst with a warm feeling in his chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, sorry this chapter is a bit short! It’s more of a transition chapter, I suppose. I also just wanted to quickly say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my story. I’m trying to write the best I can, and I hope you are enjoying it! </p>
<p>Just, also, wanted to say that Levi did Acker-bond to (F/N) back in the Underground, but I’m a believer that the Ackermans still have control of their feelings towards others, and it’s not like an “I have to be with her because she’s my host and I have to love her because of that” thing. It’s more of a “I sort of had feelings for her back then and now she’s in my life again and I’m starting to feel feels” thing.</p>
<p>Cool? Cool.</p>
<p>Bye!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Normal People</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange, you can’t call him ‘Shorty.’ It will make him hate you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were whispering to Hange outside the library door. You had received approval from Erwin to let you use the library after dinner when it was closed. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about Levi’s predicament, but he was pleased to see you take responsibility to teach someone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), he literally calls me shitty-glasses,” sighed Hange while slipping off their glasses. You knew she was annoyed, but you couldn’t help but defend your old bratty friend. Even if his new name for Hange was a little...harsh. “I think I have the right to give him a nickname he hates as well.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would prefer if you both just got along, and called each other your actual names,” you huffed and rolled your eyes. “You know, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal </span>
  </em>
  <span>people do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There is literally nothing </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal </span>
  </em>
  <span>about all three of us, so let’s just teach this short, man-child how to read.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You made a ‘tch’ sound at Hange before unlocking the library with a spare key you were given. The key stuck for a minute before finally turning after some verbal assault. You strode in with Hange right behind you. They helped you light a few candles at the nearest reading table. You and Hange had come in a couple days ago on your last day off to find a few books that would be easy to teach someone. It took a while even with the librarian's help. Hange seemed rather excited to help you teach Levi, but the short ravenette was still a little angry about your friend being there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were placing some sheets of paper and the books on the table with a few pens on the side when Levi walked in. Like the two of you, he was still in his uniform but without the maneuvering gear straps. Instead of greeting you he let out a large sigh to get your attention.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Shorty! Ready to learn?!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange…” you warned them, not only for using the nickname but also for the loudness of their voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, shitty-glasses. Go back to your dirty little hole and leave us the fuck alone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You let your head fall and sighed. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>This was going to be a long two hours.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange,” you said, turning a glare to your friend, “keep your voice down. Remember you are here to help me if I need it. And you,” you now turned your glare to Levi who looked unimpressed, “get along with them, or I’ll kick your ass.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch, whatever.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This week you had been teaching Levi the alphabet. It was the first thing that Ana had taught you. Levi seemed to understand it alright and had memorized the letters in a few days. Today he was working on writing the letters you wrote down on a piece of paper. He held the pencil a little awkwardly and wrote very slowly. Levi was a perfectionist and wanted to make sure he got it right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You glanced at him once and a while as you prepared another sheet, but with simple words such as; cat, dog, bug, etc. He had great concentration, his brows were pulled together, and his head was barely two inches from the paper. He looked almost childish. Hange hadn’t joined you two tonight. They had a meeting with Commander Shadis and Erwin about possibly having their own lab. They wanted to start conducting experiments, but they needed to convince Shadis. It seemed that Erwin was trying everything he could to help allow Hange be their crazy scientist self.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi had been added to your squad shortly after the expedition. Erwin didn’t seem to trust any other captains with Levi. Plus, you were on the squad, and Erwin knew that you were the only one Levi was comfortable around. Levi constantly complained about Erwin, but you could tell that he respected him now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m done.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You looked up as he slid the paper over to you. He watched you look it over with his expressionless face. Under the table he was clenching his hands, hoping you wouldn’t notice how nervous he was. For some reason he always craved your approval and appreciation. It annoyed the hell out of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not bad, Levi,” you praised while giving him a slight smile. “It’s getting better, but you still hold the pencil a bit weird, and grip it too hard.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed, rolling his eyes, and tried to ignore the warmth in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How the hell am I supposed to hold it? Show me how you do it again,” he ordered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Bossy, much?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it would help if you didn’t hold it as if it was a weapon, dumbass,” you suggested, ignoring the ‘I’ll kill you’ glare he gave you, and grabbed a pencil for yourself. You held your hand up in front of you so he could get a clear view from across the table. “Normal people hold it between their thumb and pointer finger, resting the pencil on their middle finger when they write. Like this,” you showed him the proper way. Levi looked at your hand with concentration and tried to mimic it with his own hand. “Now try writing a couple of letters and see if you like that. If not, I’ll show you the way I actually hold it, and see if you might prefer it that way. I mean, it’s kind of the same with the 3DMGear. You learned to hold it in a way you feel comfortable with, not the way you're supposed to…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi ran a hand through his hair before sighing and tried to write the way you showed him. He still wrote slow, but you could already tell his hand was writing more smoothly and it didn’t look as forced.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you show me the other way anyways? That way I can see what you do and compare.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, but I can tell that your hand is more at ease now,” you started to situate the pencil in your hand to how you normally write. Ana would always scold the way you held your pen, and complain that it was silly, but you found it far more comfortable than the other way. “So, I put the pen or pencil in between the bottom of the inside of my thumb and the pointer and middle finger. I rest it against my ring finger while I write like this…” You wrote a couple of words on his paper to show how your strange writing looks. “Ana, the innkeeper, always said I write weird, but my hands are small and a lot of pens are too long for me to hold it the other way. So I had to adapt. Like you did with the 3DMGear, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi hummed in response, distracted with how close your hand was to his. He always forgot how small your hands were, they were almost as small as a child’s, but they were strong. They held scars and calluses. Proof of your hard life in the Underground and now as a soldier. He snapped back to his senses and mimicked the way you were holding the pencil. He tried writing a few more letters like you did, but he preferred the first way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, this feels fucking weird. I’ll do it the way you showed me first.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Boo, normal person.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Lost in Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You, Moblit, and Hange were all sitting in the mess hall having breakfast together. Hange was sitting next to you while Moblit decided to sit across from you two today. You couldn’t help but feel a little emptiness about the two missing pieces to your group. It has been a couple weeks now since Elke left to visit home, and you were all expecting her to return in a week. You were thankful that she was able to mourn with her and Tobias’s families. Hange and Moblit were chatting about Hange’s new lab that they were given after a lot of begging and convincing was thrown at Commander Shadis. You were idly playing with your tea cup and reminiscing about the tea you had just finished when you all heard someone loudly sigh and plop onto the seat across from you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, brat, shitty-glasses.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh Levi…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You gave him a glare, hoping it dug deep into his dark cocky little soul. He was casually sipping his tea, cupping it from the top instead of the handle. Levi usually didn’t sit with you, but when he did he just sat there quietly. He wasn’t a nuisance, but he always liked to make an entrance. Moblit and Hange had gotten used to his blunt and “casual asshole” behavior. Hange has even started bursting his personal bubble like they do to you, but it always ends with him reacting in utter disgust and annoyance. Moblit didn’t seem to care much about Levi. He treated him the same way he does everyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What, no food today,” you asked him as you gazed back down at your tea cup still missing your tea. You had a couple pieces of bread already, not interested in eating a large breakfast today.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, brat. I’m not really hungry today,” he snapped. His under eye bags were more noticeable than usual. He looked like he didn’t get any sleep last night. You knew he could get at least a couple of hours a night, but, like you, some days he just didn’t get any sleep. You started to worry that maybe you gave him too much work to do, or if he was stressed from the lessons. You two were meeting every night with Hange joining once and a while. You even started brewing tea before the lessons, so you both had a pot to share throughout the night. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Last night the both of you stayed in the library past midnight. Levi was growing impatient with a book you had given him and was having a lot more issues than he usually does. The night ended with him slamming the book shut, ripping it off the table, and stomping out of the library in an angry huff. You felt bad, but knowing Levi, there wasn’t much you could do. If he was going to be stubborn, you had to just let him be and wait it out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why couldn’t you had just fucking listened to me and stayed put?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi was grumbling, angry at you for jumping into a job again without thinking. The last time you did that Levi had to save you and Furlan from men who had captured you. Levi was now washing a large wound on your right bicep from the target’s knife earlier. He did something that caught you off guard and ripped the knife straight down your flesh. It was deep, and so here you were, right next to Levi because he had the steadiest hands, being prepped for stitches.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s my job to kill the bastard, and I hate waiting,” you shot back. You must have been the most impatient person Levi knew. Well, besides himself, of course. “You're just mad because I killed him first, ass.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, </span>
  </em>
  <span>dumbass, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm mad because you do things without thinking, and get injured almost every time we go out. I’m pissed because you think it’s okay to just throw your life around like that.” He angrily dropped the rag filled with dirt and blood and started stitching you without warning and making you gasp and cringe. “I know you’re used to working alone, but you need to understand that if you don’t start listening to me I will start kicking your ass.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All you could do was roll your eyes as the needle dug through your skin. You ground your teeth together, refusing to make any sound and showing any pain. This seemed to piss Levi off more. He wanted you to feel the pain of your mistake, so he started to take longer than he usually did with the stitches, hoping you felt each and every stick and pull.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t believe you,” he hissed through his teeth. He finished the last stitch on your wound, and snipped the excess string off with scissors. He slammed the scissors and needle on the table, making you involuntary jump. He abruptly stood and angrily walked to the door.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, Levi-“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t fucking talk to me right now. I’m going for a walk.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He slammed the door behind him, making Furlan run out of his room with a knife. Levi was so angry with you that he couldn’t even bother to clean up his hands before leaving. He returned home at dawn. You had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him. Furlan had cleaned up everything for Levi as well. Levi had felt a little bad for leaving like that, but he needed to get away. He had apologized that morning to you by making some tea. You also apologized for being stupid.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That day you learned that when you tried to talk to Levi it only angered him more, so the best you can do is wait for him to calm down. Not even you could help it seemed, and for some reason that upset you, a lot.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But, shorty,” Hange joked now, bringing you back to reality, “how can you grow into a big boy if you don’t eat your nutrients?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Moblit snorted and quickly covered his mouth to try hide his laughter. Levi glared at Hange. His eyes were filled with rage, but yet he stayed seated. You started laughing quietly still looking down at your tea cup, playing with the lip of the cup. Hange was giving Levi their crazy smile with wide eyes filled with mischief. Hange really knew how to pull Levi’s buttons easily. Thinking it would be more annoying to just ignore the crazy scientist, Levi just took a sip of his tea and made a ‘tch’ noise, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Within the couple of weeks after returning from the expedition, Levi’s name has been passed around HQ and even on the streets. Everyone was talking about the soldier who took down five Titans at once all by himself on his first expedition. People who used to sneer and call him “underground pig” are now looking up- well, figuratively- to him and asking how he did it. Levi, of course, hated the attention. You hated the attention too, because they would bother you about it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soldiers would ask if people from the Underground were given drugs that made us crazy fast and strong. Which is completely false. You didn’t know about Levi, but it took a lot of hard work to get skilled at killing things. You spent all your free time working out and practicing fighting skills. It took many jobs for you to figure out the best places to attack a man or a woman. By the time you joined Levi and Furlan, you had a vast knowledge of fighting and killing. You even taught Levi a few tricks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, brat!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You snapped back to reality with Levi snapping his fingers in your face, trying to get your attention. Once your eyes met his, he rolled his eyes. It annoyed the shit out of him when you dazed off thinking about god knows what.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You're done eating, let’s go to training,” he ordered you. It always pissed you off when he tried to order you around. It’s not like you two were in the Underground anymore. He wasn’t a captain or anything, so you don’t have to listen to him. However, you were planning on leaving soon, but it wasn’t him telling you to leave that made you want to leave.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me what to do, </span>
  <em>
    <span>asshole,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>you seethed. He rolled his eyes as you both stood up and took your empty tray and cup to the disposal area. He lagged behind with his cup which was now empty. “And so you don’t get a big ego, I’m leaving because I want to, not because you told me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You Hange snort before saying, “Bye, (nickname)! Have fun with training.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Moblit waved at you with his mouth full as you started walking out of the mess hall with Levi. Another annoying thing that has been going on in these two weeks are the amount of stares and glares you have been getting from the fellow females whenever you were with Levi. You didn’t understand why. You had asked Hange one night when they had actually stayed up with you. They had been writing in their journal a bunch of topics and ideas and experiments. All Hange did was look at me and say, “It’s because you’re so fucking dense.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That didn’t really answer my question, but even now walking silently side-by-side with Levi on the way to the training rooms indoors- it was raining and cold outside- all you felt were stares and daggers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Is it because of Levi?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s your deal today? You’ve been lost in your head a lot more than usual.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced over at you. Your mouth was in a frown and your eyebrows were furrowed. Your thinking face was probably the worst face you ever made. You always looked so pissed when you thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” you snapped. You were definitely on edge now. This whole day has felt off, and you couldn’t help but feel like something was going to happen. Plus, you were getting too much unwanted attention from your fellow soldiers recently. “I guess I just didn’t sleep well, or something. Ugh, what the fuck...hey, quit staring!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The much taller female was immediately intimidated by you and snapped her head away, walking far away from you as fast as she can. You heard Levi chuckle beside you, which made you even more mad. You glared at him, but he didn’t see because he was looking forward. You had finally made it to the training room. Erwin had signed up for mornings in case it ever rained so your squad was always the first to train before others.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and Levi were the first ones there. You two had the whole room to yourselves, so what do you do? You spar each other. You were still annoyed about his first day of training when you fought him and lost. You refused to let him take you by surprise again, and never let your guard down anymore. He was now in his fighting position trying to look intimidating. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How’s your writing going by the way,” you smirked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I might just not do it. My teacher’s a pushover, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to kick your knee which you easily backed away from. He stepped forward and tried to punch you, but you blocked it with your forearms. You kneed his stomach when he was still leaning slightly forward after the punch. He merely grunted and resumed his position. You each continued trying to punch and kick each other while the rest of the squad walked in the training room and started to watch. Michele couldn’t help but smile at you two. Seeing the two of you together always brought a smile to her face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a draw, you two. Time to do some serious training now,” ordered Captain Erwin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You rolled your eyes at Levi as you both stopped to salute your Captain. Levi just unenthusiastically smirked at you. As always, he was annoyed by Erwin’s presence. Levi may respect Erwin now, but he refused to like the guy. Without you noticing Levi looked over at you again while Erwin was giving orders. His eyes softened slightly as he looked at your features while a warm feeling settled in his chest again. He sighed quietly when he looked away, hardening his features again. No one in the room seemed to have seen his moment of vulnerability. Except for a tall blond man who glared at the short man with jealousy in his heart.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. What is “Love?”- Levi’s POV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin’s squad was currently working on cardio drills. After having explained that the squad would be split into groups of two today for team exercises, Erwin decided to separate you and Levi- much to the latter’s annoyance. Not only were you teamed up with Mike, but Levi was stuck with Michele. At this point he’d rather take a chance with an abnormal Titan with no 3DMGear than watch Mike “help” you with the drills. By the fucking walls, did he really have to touch you so much?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I swear if he sniffs her hair one more time…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, Levi? Can you hold my feet down while I do these sit-ups, please?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi snaps his attention back to a fidgeting Michele. She was looking down at him, but just his glare alone made her feel two feet tall. It could almost be comical how such a short man can make anyone feel utterly tiny. Michele, even though terrified of the small man, gives Levi a kind smile when he gives a short grunt in response. He then patiently waits as she gets into position on the ground and follows grabbing her ankles with a firm enough grip to keep them in place while she works out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, the Survey Corps seems like the best…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi proceeds to ignore Michele as she drones on about finding a suitable husband. Levi didn't care much for Michele. She was mediocre at best, and seemed to believe that everyone wanted to know about her love life. It’s a true miracle that someone like her has made it so long in the Survey Corps. Even you had mentioned she doesn’t seem all too interested in actually helping humanity.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Speaking of you, you were now doing your round of sit-ups, and seemed to be having an interesting conversation with Mike. The fucking dog actually having the nerve to lean in so your face would be close to his when you lifted your body off the floor. Levi started to feel a burn in his chest seeing Mike so close to you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi wasn’t stupid. He understood why he was so hostile towards the very tall, dog-like man. He was jealous. And why wouldn’t he be. Mike was a tall, blond, blue eyed, handsome man. He was the definition of Michele’s perfect man. Not that Levi actually listened to Michele when she talked about who Paradis women deemed a marriageable man, but Levi would consider himself the exact opposite in the looks department as Mike. Being short, black haired, and eyes that </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>be blue in certain lighting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whether or not he was handsome, you were all that mattered. He promised himself to protect you. As long as you want him in your life, whether it be as a friend or more, he will be there for you. Till the day he dies, he will be there for you. Still the thought that you will never feel the same for him hangs over his head like a dark cloud. He understands that your social skills were almost non-existent, but you have come a long way since the Underground. He could probably thank that crazy Hange for helping you out of your shell more. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He internally smiles remembering how he or Furlan had to teach you simple emotions, and conversing “how-tos.” However, not all those lessons were comfortable for Levi, himself, either.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Levi, can I ask you something?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi lifted his head up from the table to look at you. You were, in his opinion, very poorly cleaning the windows. Levi was internally fighting the urge to tell you that you were doing a shit job because, by the look on your face, it looked like you had something important to say. You were looking at him with furrowed brows and a very serious expression. You were unconsciously playing with the cleaning rag in your hands, pulling and wrapping it around your fingers and palms.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What, brat?” Levi watched you with his usual stoic expression. He paused in his cleaning to watch you take a deep breath before asking whatever the hell was on your mind. At this point you had been living with Levi and Furlan for almost three months. You have gotten into the habit of questioning the both of them about everything you didn't know or understand about the world. Levi was still recovering from the time you asked what tea was. That was a very traumatic event in Levi’s mind.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What is uh…’love?’”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi blinked at you a couple of times. He was completely caught off guard. He was almost tempted to run and find Furlan to answer this question for you. ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>I mean, what the fuck.’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>Levi didn’t know how he was supposed to answer this question. You looked at him expectantly, with confusion in your eyes. It almost made Levi feel sad for you. He didn’t know your entire backstory, but from what he found out, it seemed that you have never had anyone in your life. Levi, at least, had his mother for a brief time of his life before she died, but, as far as he knew, you have always been alone.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oi, I’m not really sure if I can answer that…” he trailed off. You didn’t release your stare, and stood there, waiting for him to continue. It seemed that this new word was bothering you a lot. You have an unreadable expression on your face. Levi let out a silent sigh before asking, “What’s wrong? Why are you asking about this anyway?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well,” you looked down at your hands that were still fiddling with your cleaning rag, “I saw this young woman and man on the streets last night. They seemed rather close and were holding each other tight, but not in a way I’ve seen before. It was like the woman wanted to be held like that, or something. And then the man said, ‘I love you,’ and their mouths touched. It was very uncomfortable to see...I was afraid the woman was being hurt, but she looked fine...I don’t know. I’ve just never seen that before.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi took a minute to absorb your words. He has never seen you look so uncomfortable. He briefly thought about how adorable you were being showing this timid side of yourself that he rarely got to see. He shook his head slightly at the thought and tried to figure out the best answer that he could.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not really sure how to describe the feeling myself,” he sighed as he nervously swiped a hand through his hair, “From what I understand is that love is a strong feeling that can be shared between people. The couple you saw may harbor that feeling for each other. Usually that ‘love’ feeling is expressed through kissing and holding the other person, I guess.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What is kissing?” you looked back up at him with confusion once again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s what you saw them do. When they put their lips together,” he explained, letting out a tired sigh.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,” you mumbled, flushing slightly. Levi cleared his throat quietly. He had started to play with his rag as well, subconsciously mimicking your movements. “So, does Furlan love the women he invites over sometimes?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” Levi scoffed, “That’s not love. That’s called lust and it lasts for one night only until he meets another girl.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,” you said again while making a disgusted expression, “Have you ever experienced love, Levi?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, it’s never interested me before,” he lied. ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>Until you,’</span>
  <em>
    <span> he thought to himself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, me neither I suppose…” you smirked while turning back to the window. Levi returned to cleaning the table, assuming the conversation was over. He heard you take a breath before saying, “I don’t think I can ever let someone touch me like that...but at least they looked happy.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi fell back to reality by Michele shifting out of his grasp and letting him know it was his turn now. As he was getting into position he couldn't help but think how sad you sounded when you said that. If you had never been hurt by those pigs from the Underground, would you feel differently now. You would probably still be socially inept because you practically raised yourself, but would you be more open to those emotions? Those feelings? Maybe you would be more open to affection, and he wouldn't have to worry that putting a hand on your shoulder would trigger you, but, then again, you wouldn’t be the (F/N) he unwillingly fell in love with all those years ago.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi? What is your relationship exactly with (F/N)?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi must have given her a frightening look because she started stuttering and her grip on Levi’s ankles grew tighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m only asking because you two seem close, but your relationship has a ‘more than friends’ feeling to it…” she trailed off stealing a glance over towards you and Mike. Levi proudly noticed how you kept a normal human distance from Mike unlike how he was with you. Michele let out a quiet sigh before turning back to Levi and continuing, “(F/N) is very closed off normally except when she is with Hange, Moblit, Elke, and...uh, well, Tobias before he passed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’re different. I can tell she looks up to you. You must have meant a great deal to her if she gives you the time of day now. She’s kind to me, but I know for a fact she doesn’t like me very much, and I know you feel the same.” She took a moment longer looking at you before finally looking back at Levi with a melancholy look in her green eyes, “I guess I’m just saying to be there for her. She needs support even if she refuses to admit it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi didn’t say anything, but gave a slight nod to his head and finished up his sit-ups before they moved on to run five laps around the training room. No one else knows, but you were all he had left now. When he said he was going to protect you till the day he died, he meant it. There was never a second thought or doubt. He knew from the moment you decided to join him and Furlan that you were someone meant to be in his life. The day you left, it felt like someone stabbed his head and heart simultaneously. He never wants to feel that way again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were stuck with him. Whether you felt the same or not. He was yours forever and always.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello,</p>
<p>Will you believe that this chapter used to be in first person, and it caused me to go on a writing hiatus for over half a year?!</p>
<p>Well, it was and it did. I will be posting every Friday on here as well as on Quotev and Wattpad. This story is originally from my Quotev account, so that's why I was able to post so many chapters at once!</p>
<p>I highly encourage comments, and feedback if you see anything weird I missed!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!</p>
<p>-Brit (DarthZannah)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. It's Just One Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p>
<p>Happy Friday fanfic readers!</p>
<p>The new chapter is here and I hope you like it! It's pleasant to have all this slight fluffy stuff before the Hell begins again, right?</p>
<p>*Flaps hand up and down, making a vague 'ehhhhh' noise.* I like pain, remember?</p>
<p>More notes at the end!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unlike Levi, you were completely oblivious to the not-so-subtle advances Mike was giving you today. His sniffing of your hair was a normal occurrence, and you were used to him standing a little closer to you than the normal human would- this excluded Hange, of course. It’s not that you enjoyed this type of behaviour from him; you were just used to it. Plus, Mike smelled everyone, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. His face, however, kept leaning far too close for your liking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why was he leaning so far over your knees when you were just trying to do your set of sit ups? It was annoying that you kept having to lean to the side slightly to finish off a full sit up. Was he trying to aggravate you, or was this something he did with everyone? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Other than his abnormal face proximity, he has been conversing with you as he usually does. He was now complaining that Erwin had doubled his paperwork this past week because of the recent expedition, and put him in charge of the training progress sheets for each member of this squad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“At this point I’m practically doing his job,” he complained. You two were currently finishing the last round of laps around the training room. After this Erwin will most likely give a short speech and then finally let you leave to have lunch. You were starving from not having a large breakfast, and you just really wanted a shower.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t want to help me out with some of the paperwork, would you, (F/N)?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You turned your head to the right, looking at Mike with an annoyed huff. He had his puppy eyes in full blinding force, silently begging you to help him. You also have received more paperwork as well, and were trying your hardest to stay on schedule. But with having to train and do cleaning duties throughout the day, you only had time to do it at night, but the evenings were now reserved to teaching Levi how to read and write. You know he wouldn’t mind if you worked on paperwork while he practiced his letters and words, but you wanted to give him your full attention. He deserved to be taught by someone who was ready to help if he needed it. That is how Ana treated you, and you wanted Levi to experience that same kindness.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mike must have felt like he offended you so he started flapping his hand up and down awkwardly while still jogging and said, “I mean, you can work on yours with me, and we can help each other out and get done faster. Then Erwin can stop breathing down our necks about our paperwork being late again.” He paused and started to anxiously fidget his fingers and looked forward again, hiding his face from you. You swore you could see a slight pink tint to his ears. “We can work on them together tonight after dinner. I have a shared office with Nanaba, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind having you in there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You also returned your gaze back in front of you. You noticed a tense Levi quickly look away ahead. You kind of felt bad for Mike. It was true that Erwin was practically drowning Mike in paperwork and responsibilities, but Mike was second in command in this squad, so it was his job to take control when needed. And because Erwin has been busy helping out the Commander more with expeditions and duties, that meant more work for Mike. And more work means more paperwork. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Would it be okay to cancel one night of teaching Levi?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You were sure that Levi would understand that it was for work and it was important. On the other hand, you wanted Levi to learn as soon as humanly possible, and missing a day might hinder the amazing progress he has made these past couple of weeks. Sure, you could ask Hange to take over for you, but they have been busy setting up their new lab and writing up theories and experiments. Plus, Levi would probably kill them if they were alone for more than at least half an hour with each other. He still wasn’t used to their boisterous personality, but tolerated them for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe I could have Levi join me and Mike?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You quickly squashed that idea. Levi liked his privacy and didn’t want anyone to know that he was having to learn how to read and write like a child. You also didn’t want to inconvenience Mike and Nanaba even more by bringing another body into their own office. You really needed to catch up on your paperwork, and the fact that the only time you had to work on it was when you were supposed to be sleeping was taking a toll on you. Granted, it’s not like you ever sleep, but night-time used to be your time to relax and read, but now you’ve been buried in paper and ink instead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’m sure Levi will understand,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you tried to convince yourself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll just have him catch up on his words and give him a small book to read. Then have Hange only visit him once and a while to see how he is doing and if he needs any help. It’s just one night, afterall.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You felt like this was a good plan, and Mike was patiently waiting for your answer now. He was looking at you from the side of his eye as he watched you intently. You turned to look at him again and gave him a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds like a good idea, Mike, but only for tonight. I’m cancelling my usual plans for you, so you better not get distracted. We only work on paperwork, or I’m leaving. No joking around, or goofing off, got it?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, mam,” he joked, but gave you one of the brightest smiles you have ever seen on his face. It almost made you a little uncomfortable, but you were glad that this made him happy. It would be nice for both of you to catch up on paperwork and have one less thing to worry about. Now all you had to do was tell Levi and Hange.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘It’s just one night. Levi will be fine. Just fine.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was, in fact, not fine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi wasn’t mad at you, of course. He was mad at the man who manipulated you into being alone with him in a small space for the evening. Now making Levi sit here, stressed out of his mind, hoping he wasn’t hurting you in any way, and ignoring the never ending yapping of Hange. Who, even though was told to only come check on him once and awhile, decided to spend the entirety of the evening with him instead. The anxiety was slowly eating him inside, and he couldn’t help but think back to lunch when you told him and Hange about your new plans for the evening.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You had taken Hange and Levi to the side after lunch in the mess hall, while Moblit continued on to his cleaning chores for the afternoon. Levi noticed how you looked nervous and kept fidgeting with your hands. You wouldn’t meet his eyes, and Hange looked worried for you, having not seen you act like this often.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So, I need to ask you two for a favor,” you started in a soft voice. It was clear you were uncomfortable, but this must be important, so Levi gave you his full attention as you continued, “I have fallen behind on my paperwork, but Mike has offered that we help each other with it, so we can catch up. So…” You trailed off, trying to compose yourself. Asking for help has always caused you anxiety, and it didn’t help that their full attention was on you. The staring was intimidating, but you took a deep breath and straightened your spine, trying to calm your nerves to the best of your ability. “So, Levi, I won’t be able to tutor you this evening, but I will make more words for you to copy, and I have this book I think you will like that you can read. If you find any words that you do not know, you can write them down, and I’ll help you with them tomorrow.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You looked him in the eye as you spoke, and when you were done you switched over to Hange before explaining, “Hange, I will need you to check on him only once and awhile. I don’t want him to get too distracted, and-to put it nicely-you tend to talk too much.” Once done with your speech you shifted your eyes between the two of them, once again nervous for what they will say or think. “I know this is inconvenient for both of you, and I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise, but I really need to work on my paperwork, and it’s just for tonight. Levi, you’re doing such a great job, and your progress has been amazing. I don’t want you to think that I’m giving up on you, or ditching you. I need to know if this is okay with you?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi’s initial thought was, ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>No, no it is not.’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>But he knew that you have been stressed out quite a bit recently. It wasn’t your fault that you have been burdened with all this extra work. He blamed himself, mostly, for causing more stress on your shoulders. You were kind enough to agree to teach him, and it would be incredibly selfish of him to make you stay with him and get even farther behind on your paperwork. He didn’t understand why you needed to work on it with Mike, but it seemed you had already agreed, so he would keep that concern to himself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He almost wanted to suggest that you do the paperwork in the library with him and bring Mike along, but he didn’t necessarily trust the tall blond yet. Plus, Levi didn’t want anyone to know that he couldn’t read. Especially another man who seemed to be after your affections. It would be embarrassing, to say the least. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>So, Levi decided to swallow his pride and hide his anxiety, look you in the eye and say, “Don’t worry about it. It’s okay with me. Just as long as Four Eyes actually leaves me alone.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, how he wished he didn’t agree. However, you promised it was just for one night, so he could handle an evening without you and deal with the crazy-shitty chatter box.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey shorty, I have a very important question for you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looked up from the book you gave him to the insane smile of Hange Zoë. The book was a simple children’s book about a royal guard that died to save the princess he loved. It was silly, but he knew most of the words and it was simple to understand. However, it seemed that the book was not on the other person’s mind. Levi made an annoyed grunt as an answer for Hange to continue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m pretty perceptive of people's emotions, which is how (F/N) and I are able to be such great friends because I am able to read her face and understand how she is truly feeling. I can see that you two are quite similar, however you close yourself off a lot more than she does.” Hange took a second to lean over the table more to get closer to Levi’s face, who’s immediate reaction was to lean as far back as he could. “You may think that you can hide from me, but, Mister Levi Ackerman, I can see right through you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell are you trying to say?” Levi was very uncomfortable with where this was going. Hange couldn’t be that perceptive, and notice that he was head over heels for their best friend, can they? He worked hard to keep an unreadable stoic expression on his face. It was a daily trial for Levi to constantly hide his true emotions, and it was exhausting, but how could someone he barely even knows already guess something he isn’t ready to share yet?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You, my short snarky friend, are in love with my dear (F/N), right? It is incredibly obvious,” they said now with a devious smile. Levi felt really hot all of a sudden, as if he was being interrogated for a crime he most certainly did commit. “Well, at least to me it is, I suppose. Everyone else hasn’t noticed yet, but it’s the little things you do that showed me your true feelings.” Hange was slowly rising from their seat now, but Levi kept his mouth shut and face set in a scowl as they continued, “For example, who always makes sure she gets where she needs to go even though she is fully capable of remembering when and where she is needed?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi kept his mouth firmly sealed, assuming this was a rhetorical question. Which turned out to be the case.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You do! Another example,” they continued, their smile intensifying by Levi’s obvious attempt at hiding what he was truly thinking, “you watch her like a hawk, and don’t get me started on your possessive behaviour. I thought it was a miracle that you agreed to let her work alone with Mike today, but you have been sitting here for an hour and a half now looking like you need to take a shit, so you are clearly upset that she is not here right now. Also-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, just stop fucking talking.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea, and a headache from the sound of Hange’s voice. This whole situation was irritating. He put his head in his right hand and leaned against the table on his elbow in defeat. Of all the people to catch on to his feelings, it had to be your best friend- who’s personal hygiene abilities were questionable at best. It had to be the person obsessed with Titans and acted as if those bloodthirsty creatures were pets, but needed to be experimented on. A fucking psycho. An observant fucking psycho. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come </span>
  <em>
    <span>on, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Levi! You can’t hide it from me. I could help you, you know?” They looked at him kindly now. Any evidence of the crazed scientist was gone now, and replaced with a soft smile and hands on their hips. They are now fully standing in front of Levi, towering over him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t deny it to you because if I try I feel like you will keep bothering me until I do, but I have no intention of being selfish enough to tell her and put that burden on her shoulders. She has gone through enough, and she shouldn’t have to deal with someone else trying to win her affection when she most likely won’t give it in the first place.” Levi paused, releasing his head from his hand and facing fully towards Hange. “The less distractions she has, the safer from danger she is. I can’t burden her. I just can’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” they sighed deeply, “I am disappointed that you will not tell her. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. I believe it’s the fact that she has gone through so much that she needs to know that someone out there cares for her. I try to tell her that everyday, and I’m sure by now she understands that I’m not going anywhere and that I love her like family. I won’t make you tell her how you truly feel, and you can trust me to keep your secret. All I ask is you think more about this and see if keeping this to yourself is the best option.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi merely nodded his head. He understood why you were so close with Hange now. For someone who seemed to only want to expose everyone of their secrets, they were willing to keep them. Hange was a different breed, but they were indeed very perceptive. And it seemed this extrovert had adopted yet another stray.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh, why, hello again!</p>
<p>What did you guys think? Hange is a devious soul aren't they? But we love them!</p>
<p>Reader's POV next chapter and the outcome of the "date," so look forward to that!</p>
<p>As always, feel free to leave comments. They make my day and I'll reply to the ones I can- don't want any spoilers.</p>
<p>See you next week and have a swell day!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Platonic vs. Romantic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p>
<p>Happy Friday fellow fanfic readers! It's update day, and I am glad you're here!</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy this chapter, and there will be notes at the end!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p>
<p>P.S.</p>
<p>Also, huge thanks for over 50 Kudos, and over 900 Hits! Thanks for reading, friends!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You have been working on paperwork with Mike for at least an hour now, and just now got him to shut up. Ever since he met you in the dining hall after dinner, he has been talking about the most pointless things. You have never heard so many words come out of his mouth. It almost seemed like he was nervous for some reason, but why would he be nervous about working on paperwork? It’s something he does everyday, right? Plus, Nanaba wasn’t even in the office, so asking her personally if it was okay to be in there was pointless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The office was small. It had what it needed, which was two desks in the middle of the room facing each other. There was a window in the middle with a bookshelf on each side. Each desk was decorated with one oil lamp and a pencil and pen cup. One desk was nice and clean and organized-Nanaba’s. The other one, however, was organized in what Mike said is, “organized chaos.” All you knew is that if Levi saw it he would just throw everything on top in the garbage and walk away. Most likely proclaiming, “it’s clean now.” He might also wipe the entire surface as well, just to be sure.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But why did it take an hour for Mike to shut up? It seemed like he forgot your terms for working with him this evening. You specifically told him that if he tried to be funny or distracting, you would leave. Well, it took you a whole hour before you decided to threaten to leave if he didn’t, “shut the Hell up,” as you so kindly pointed out to him. It seemed to have worked, but now he is looking at his current sheet like a kicked puppy, and you’re sitting here even more confused by these current events.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, if you wanted to talk about pointless things, you should have invited Michele,” you scolded now. It was very irritating that he was taking advantage of this situation-a situation he put you in-and completely disregard the fact that you two had a lot of work to do. Plus, it’s weird. Mike rarely tries to hold a conversation, or speak more than two sentences per conversation. It’s one of the reasons you chose to befriend him. Maybe you should have invited Hange along with you, so she could explain his strange behaviour for you. Because this whole situation was giving you a headache.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I invited you because our paperwork intermingles together,” he scoffed. His head was leaning on his left hand while his right hand worked on writing in his reports. You saw him roll his eyes, and for a brief moment you felt kind of bad, but you shook your head at yourself. It wasn’t your fault that he was acting like this. Mike gave a long sigh before looking back up at you. You were sitting across from him in Nanaba’s desk chair with your paperwork spread and organized out in front of you. You watched as he tried to calm down, and then listened when he continued, “Plus, Michele doesn’t get any paperwork, and I would rather not have to spend an evening trying to explain everything to her, and even then she’ll still get all the work done incorrectly.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Still, Mike, I told you that I would only do this if you didn’t get distracted, or joked around.” You took a moment to place down your pen and stretch out your fingers and your back. With your arms up in the air, you took a second to take in a deep breath. You tried to clear your mind of the confusion and irritation that Mike had disposed unto you this evening. When you brought your arm back down, you rested them on the desk in front of you, looked back at Mike, and said, “If you want me to stay, you need to stop talking so much. From now on, if it doesn’t have anything to do with your reports or mine, you do not speak. Please? We need to get this done. I’m sure whatever you wish to talk about can wait till after we are done. Okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You waited for Mike to give a nod of understanding before returning to your work. You noticed how he started to work even faster than before, and aggressively wrote his reports. You assumed he was probably still upset, but at least he was working on his paperwork now. You shrugged your shoulders, and continued on. You kept worrying about Levi, and really hoped that Hange listened to you and did not continue to bother him, but, knowing your luck, they most likely decided to stay for the whole scheduled lesson and ask him silly questions. You cringe at a memory that happened in the earlier days you knew Hange.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So, what is it like in the Underground? What was your life like? Did you have any friends- or are they thugs? What Moblit?! Don’t look at me like that! If she doesn’t want to answer, all she has to do is say so!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This Hange, has been asking you question after question now for at least three hours. Moblit has been doing what he can to calm the ever crazy scientist, but there is only so much you can do. You didn’t blame him for his friends' weird antics, but it was getting to the point you felt like your head was going to implode. You all were currently running laps around the grounds for your morning warm-up. The other two people you have met-Elke and Tobias-were somewhere behind the three of you. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, I wouldn’t mind as much if the questions you asked weren’t so personal…” you trailed off. This must have gone right over Hange’s head because they just looked at you, seeming to be waiting for you to continue. ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>By the fucking walls, am I going to have to actually answer these questions to get them to leave me alone?!’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>You tried to convey your irritation with a glare, but this merely made them blink a couple of times at you. Still giving you their full attention. “Ugh, fine. It was shit living there, okay? I lived alone since I was four, and when I finally made enough money to leave I was 16. I hated my life and joined the Scouts so I could die doing something for humanity, as opposed to dying in that damned place where I was left to die. Now, would you mind leaving me alone now?!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All Hange did was smile at you and look ahead of them. It seemed that they got the answer they wanted because they stopped asking any more questions for the remainder of the day. That night Hange decided to surprise you with a goodnight hug, and said, “For what you must have gone through, you deserve a life where you are safe and living and loved. Maybe you should have married and settled down. Found a good man, yeah?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You actually settled into their hug. You would never admit it out loud, but Hange’s hugs were comforting. They may have been incredibly annoying with their many intrusive questions, but at least they could make it up with a hug. You decided to let them have this moment and said, “That’s the same thing Ana said, but I’m not the ‘settle down and marry’ type. I’m very lucky to have made it to 17, and I’m going to take advantage of that. I want to be able to say that I helped humanity live beyond the walls. I may not be alive when that happens, but at least I did what I could, right? Plus, give or take a few, men are pigs. I also don’t understand the point of marriage. Wait, what IS marriage exactly?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hange laughed at you, and released their hug. The rest of the night they taught you about marriage and what it means. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You remember how she had also used that word that caused you a lot of stress before. ‘Love.’ Levi was so uncomfortable when you had asked him what it meant all those years ago, and with the way Hange explained it- it was still a very confusing concept to you. How did Hange word it again?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Some people get married for love-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Love?” you cut Hange off, hearing that word struck a chord within you. Remembering that time you asked Levi about it. It still hurt when you thought about him and Furlan. It always made you worried about how they were doing, and if they were able to move on with you not there. They most likely were. “Uh, can you explain what that means to you? That word still confuses me.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hange just smiled kindly at you, and nodded their head ‘yes’. You two were currently sitting on your bottom bunk and talking with each other. The other girls were sound asleep, being very exhausted from the first week of Training Corps.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“To me it's always meant the feeling I get around people I care deeply for. You, for example. We may have just met, but I feel like we are going to be very close. I feel like I will eventually love you, but not in a romantic way. More in a ‘we’re just really good friends’ kind of way. You understand?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think so,” you mumble, “and I’m guessing the romantic way is when people kiss- that’s what it’s called, right? Kissing?” You scratch your neck in an awkward way, but Hange doesn’t show any signs of annoyance, or makes you feel like your questions are silly in any way.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s correct! And if you love someone as only friends, that’s what you call a platonic love. Do you understand?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, thanks Hange.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You really were lucky to have a friend like Hange. They always knew what to say, and never made you feel inadequate. But their personality was very abrasive, and you didn’t know how Levi would handle a Hange with many questions. You just hoped that he hadn't punched them in the face yet, at least.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A couple of more hours had passed in silence. It seemed that you and Mike had gotten into a groove and he had stopped bothering you with pointless topics and questions. You were now working on your last sheet and were beginning to look forward to your nightly shower. You kind of hoped that Hange was still awake so you could talk to them about the events of tonight, and ask them how Levi was doing. Thinking of Levi, you really hoped he was able to grasp the basic words of the book you gave him to read. You thought he might like the story, but more in a way to make fun of it, than actually like the plot. To you, the plot was silly, but it is a children’s story, so there isn’t much to expect.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as you finished the last page, you placed your pen back in it’s designated pen cup. Mike watched as you started to organize your paperwork in a clean pile. When you had everything in place you looked over at Mike, who was staring at your stack of finished paperwork in envy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I am all finished, Mike,” you bragged. You gave him a judgemental smirk, and quietly laughed when he rolled his eyes at you. “You can ask all those silly questions now, but make it quick because I want to take a shower.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You waited impatiently as Mike thought to himself. He looked a lot less excited to talk to you as he did before, but you really didn’t care at this point. You were able to get your paperwork done, so you were not as stressed anymore. You couldn’t wait to see Levi tomorrow and ask him how tonight went, and go over all his questions in the lesson tomorrow. It surprised you how much you seemed to miss Levi for only being away from him for a few hours. You think it’s a little silly how much you actually miss him. You had been separated from him for over three years, you can handle a few hours in different rooms in the same castle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mike was taking too long to start the conversation he just needed to have earlier, so you released a loud, annoyed groan, and stood up. You gathered all your sheets and started turning towards the office door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, please…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stopping right in front of the door, your turn around to look at Mike. He had stood up from his chair and moved to the back of it. He was leaning heavily on the back of the chair, and he looked awfully sick all of a sudden. You swore you could see his skin turn slightly green.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, go on. What do you want to say?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have feelings for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Huh?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>your mind lost all comprehensible thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘What does that even mean?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Your face morphed into that of utter confusion. This made Mike worry that he upset you, and his grip on his chair grew tighter, his knuckles turned white.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, uhhh,” you tried to think of a way to ask this without sounding absolutely stupid, but Hange wasn’t here to save you, so the unfiltered question came out instead, “What the fuck does that even mean? I know we’re friends, right? Wouldn’t that imply that you have feelings for me? It’s that platonic feeling thing, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Mike looked at you like you just crushed his soul, ate it, and spit it right back out in front of him. It made you feel even more awkward and confused. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I must be doing something wrong. Why is he looking at me like that?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, no, it means I have feelings for you, but in a romantic way. Yes, we are friends, but I want to be more than friends.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘But I already have a best-friend,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you thought before his other words sunk in, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Wait, did he just say romantic feelings? Like kissing and love? But I don’t feel that way about him...So, how do I nicely turn him down? Will he understand? Or will it get super weird between us now because I unintentionally hurt his feelings? Oh, shit, this is a bitch, isn't it?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I think I understand what you mean now,” you stated. You tried to sound as if you were thinking hard, but in reality your mind was a jumbled mess trying to think of when this might have started. When did his feelings for you go in a complete opposite direction of yours? Or did he always feel this way and only Hange was the one who saw it? It would explain why they were always trying to get you two into a relationship. You took in a strained breath before saying, “I’m sorry, Mike, but I don’t share those feelings for you. I may be new to these kinds of situations, but I only want you as a friend, nothing more. I really don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t change my feelings. I hope you understand.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You stood in front of the door awkwardly as he went over your words in his head. You watched as he conveyed his emotions on his face. What you didn’t realize is that he had already accepted that you didn’t feel the same as he did. What kept replaying in his head was the way Levi looked at you this morning. He was beginning to realize that probably the only man you could ever return those feelings to would be the short one that looks at you with love in his eyes. Mike knows for a fact he doesn't love you, but if you had felt some romantic feelings towards him, he knew that he would eventually fall deeply for you. However, he can’t compete with a guy who has already stolen your heart. You may not realize it yet, but Mike would still like to be your friend when you finally do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I understand,” stuttered Mike, “I would like us to stay friends as well. I can’t make you change your feelings, so I would rather stay friends. Nothing has changed. You don't need to worry, (F/N).”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You thanked him quietly, said a quick goodbye, and left. On your way to your dorm you went over the conversation in your head. You are very thankful that Mike was such a good friend, and that this situation wouldn’t make your relationship awkward. Although, being rejected could be hard, you assumed, he handled it pretty well. By the time you left he was back to his normal self again. Now you could look forward to tomorrow and return to your usual schedule and teach Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you made it to your dorm, you quietly opened your door to take a quick peek to see if Hange was still awake or not. You were surprised to see that she wasn’t even back yet. So you opened the door the rest of the way and placed your paperwork on your bedside table to remember to turn it in tomorrow morning. Once you set them down you grabbed your pajamas and towel, and made a run for the showers where you scrubbed and washed your body. Cleaning off the dirt from the afternoon. Then you dried off, put on your pajamas, and walked back to your dorm room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you entered Hange still wasn’t back yet. You placed your towel on your hook, brushed your (H/C) hair, then finally sat down on your bed, leaning on your pillow against the wall. You decided to waste time by reading more of the novel you have been reading, and as soon as you reached the half point of the chapter, Hange slammed into the room making you jump at least two feet above your bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“By the fucking walls, Hange. Just because you know I’m awake doesn't mean it is okay to open the door like that!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oops,” they dismissed. You watched as Hange very loudly undressed and threw on their pajamas. When they finally relaxed on their bed they continued, “Have to make sure my insomniatic friend is still awake, you know. Anyways, how did it go tonight with Mike? Did you get your paperwork done?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I got my paperwork done, but he was acting strange,” you started to explain what happened throughout the night, all the way through his confession as well. Hange listened intently and actually looked surprised when you told them that Mike told you he had romantic feelings for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong, I knew he had feelings for you, but I never thought that he would actually tell you!” They brought their knees up to their chin while they leaned farther into the wall. Hange adjusted their glasses farther up their nose while they voiced their thoughts. “I honestly think you handled it pretty well for someone who lacks proper human interaction-” You gave them a face, but they merely flapped their hand at you in a way that said, ‘don't take offense.’ You just rolled their eyes and let them continue. “I’m surprised that he took your rejection so well. I assumed he would look like a sad puppy for a few weeks at least, but he seems stronger than I thought, so good for him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do some men normally walk around like a sad puppy after being rejected?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I assume some do, yes, but I haven’t actually experienced this myself, so we are learning this part together.” You and Hange sat there in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before Hange sighed, “Well, it’s over now. You have now been confessed to for the first time, so you’re farther in the romantic experiences than I am, so congratulations.” They gave you a wink and you quietly laughed at their silliness. “I’m going to sleep now. I got a few new hypotheses written down tonight while helping Levi, so I’m good on my nightly notes. Enjoy your novel, g’night.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was quiet for a few minutes until you heard Hange’s quiet snoring. It was also at that moment when you realized you forgot to ask Hange if Levi was okay tonight, and if they actually left him alone. Hange didn’t seem to be injured in any way, so you just decided to assume that they listened to you and actually let Levi study and only visited him a few times. If that were the case, then Hange deserves a pat on the back. If it is not the case, then Levi deserves a full teapot of black tea just for himself.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p>
<p>Looks like Miss (F/N) had to learn some new things once again. I think she handled it pretty well for someone who is very confused. (She handled it better than I would have, that's for sure...)</p>
<p>Love confession number one is over! Who do you think will be confession number two?! (Hint: there are a total of three love confessions in this story.)</p>
<p>As always, feel free to leave some comments! Have a swell day, and I'll see you guys next Friday!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A Friend's Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p><p>You guys, Isayama-san was really like, “I heard Britanie (DarthZannah) likes pain. So I'm gonna give it to her.”</p><p>Why, yes, thank you for the tears, Isayama-san. Other than breaking my heart, I feel like the finale is well done so far, and can’t wait for Chapter 139 (which is the last).</p><p>‘I get the theory of the number and all, but does it HAVE to be an uneven number?!’</p><p>But anyway...it’s Friday fellow fanfic readers! Happy Update Day!</p><p>More notes will be at the end, my friends.</p><p>-DarthZannah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>You were currently waiting at the entrance gate of the Survey Corps Headquarters with Hange and Moblit. Elke was set to return today, right before lunch, and you were pretty anxious to see your friend after they have been gone for a few weeks now. You were worried about their well-being, but Hange assured you that spending time with her friends and family probably helped her with the grieving process. As far as you knew this was the first death Elke has ever experienced, and for it to be Tobias, the man she loved, was probably very hard for her to cope with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It has been a week now since Mike’s confession and ever since then you have been questioning your very existence. You and Mike have been interacting like usual,and it’s nice that things haven’t really changed between the two of you. However, you couldn’t help but to wonder what you could have possibly done to illicit that type of interest from him. Were you too sexual with the way you killed Titans, or when you did sparring practice? Hange said he most likely liked you for your personality, but why would he do that? Your personality sucked. Plus, it’s not as if he’s really social himself, but don’t men prefer women that can at least hold a conversation with others for longer than 30 seconds? Or women who follow them around like puppies and stay home and cook and clean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Well, if Mike liked women like that, then he wouldn’t have romantic feelings for someone like me…’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You continued to have an inner argument with yourself while Hange and Moblit- well, mainly Hange- talked about various Titan theories while waiting for Elke to turn up. They were standing on your left side and Moblit on their other side. Levi was probably cleaning his dorm room again before lunch, and you realized now how he had become a fundamental part of your small group in the few weeks that Elke has been gone. He may never fill the hole that Tobias left, but you were glad that someone as important to you as Levi was able to get along- in his own way- with the others who were equally as important. Hopefully Elke will be just as open-minded as Hange and Moblit have been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thinking of Levi now made you remember the morning after Mike confessed to you, and how he reacted. That was probably the most emotion you have ever seen on his face. It made you feel a little weird to be honest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were eating breakfast in your usual spot with Hange and Moblit when Levi decided to sit with you guys this morning. You haven’t had the chance to ask Hange how his lessons went last night because she was too busy talking Moblit’s ear off, and all you could do was sit on the side sipping your tea and stuffing your face with eggs and sausage, waiting for them to finally stop ranting. Levi showing up was a perk, so you waited relatively patiently as he quietly settled in the seat across from you and Hange, right next to Molbit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, brat. No need to eat so fast- making a fucking pig of yourself. The food isn’t going anywhere,” remarked Levi when he finally got comfortable and made a ‘tch’ noise while bringing his tea cup to his lips. You kindly answered him with a roll of your eyes. Your mouth was full, so you decided to keep your snarky remark to yourself. Plus, you didn’t need him scolding you about proper manners either. It looked like Levi decided on more than just black tea for breakfast today. He actually grabbed some bread and a little bit of sausage. Levi was never really a breakfast eater- you also weren’t into eating in the morning either, but for some reason today you just really wanted protein and you were unusually hungry. Maybe it was the events of the night before, or maybe it was because you slept for more than three hours for the first time in your life, but who really knows?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you finally finished chewing and swallowed your food- while Levi watched you with aloofness that only he can naturally portray- you looked at him as you placed your fork down to indicate that you were going to speak now, “So, how did it go last night? Did you finish the story? Also, did you finish the words I told you to copy? Were they too long? If they were I could rewrite you some tonight to practice with...”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi watched as you worriedly asked him about his progress and subconsciously doubted your teaching abilities. It always annoyed him when you weren’t confident in something. He could watch you all day fly around on 3DMGear because you rode it like it was second nature to you. When you fought and killed Titans, you made it look so natural, almost as if it was just breathing to you. How could someone so confident on the field of battle turn into someone who second guesses everything they do and doubt their talent? You were no professor, that was obvious. Plus, he wasn’t expecting you to be perfect at everything. All he needs is for you to teach him what he needs to know, and for you to take it seriously- which you do. That’s all he wants. For you to take him seriously and the extra time spent with you doesn’t hurt either. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t worry it was fine. I’ll show you what I worked on tonight.” He watched as you let out a breath of relief that made him internally laugh before asking, “What about you? How did last night go? Did you get your paperwork done?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>I feel like that sounded weird,’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>Levi internally berated himself. </span>
  </em>
  <span>‘Well, she asked me a lot of questions too, so it’s not too strange that I did the same thing, right? Wait, why does she look so upset now? Oh shit, maybe I shouldn't have asked? But why would asking her if she got her work done be sad?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, I did get all of my work done, and I was able to finally hand it in, but…” you trailed off. You weren’t really sure if you wanted to tell Levi about what Mike told you last night. Levi was never keen on men openly flirting with you in the Underground. You were always completely oblivious to all those situations, but luckily Furlan had been there to explain what was going on to you later. You were always thankful for Levi’s protectiveness, but you didn’t want him to beat up Mike for only saying he liked you more than a friend. It wasn’t like he was trying to have sex with you or something. On the other hand, besides Hange, Levi was one of your closest friends with the exception of not knowing too much about each other. You two have been through the most together, and that can make any two people closer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But, what?” Levi looked at you expectantly and took another slow sip from his tea cup. His brows furrowed slightly in worry, but to any onlookers it looked as if he was more annoyed than being worried over his friend. He really hoped that Mike didn’t hurt you in any way because if he did Levi was not going to go easy on him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But...well,” you paused again while taking a glance at Hange. It seemed at this point your best friend was purposefully keeping Moblit distracted from your’s and Levi’s conversation. You mentally thanked your friend and brought your attention back to Levi who was waiting for you to continue. “Well, he kind of confessed that he has feelings for me...but I told him I wasn’t interested in him in that way. He took it very well.” You added that last part because Levi’s face grew darker with each passing word you uttered. You thought Levi was mad because he probably thought Mike was trying to take advantage of you, but the reality was that Levi was angry that someone like Mike was able to confess his feelings, when Levi is too terrified to do it himself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He truly believed that telling you will make things harder. If by some miracle you do have feelings for him as well- and you two actually decided to do something about it- all he could imagine is the pain one of you would feel if the other was killed. He didn’t want you to suffer the way your friend did when she found out her partner didn’t survive. And Levi one hundred percent believes he will die before you. There was no way in Hell you were going to leave this world before him. He refused to let that happen and Levi could be a very stubborn man when he wanted to be. However, if by some small silly chance you did pass away before he could he wouldn’t be able to move on like he can with everyone else. He couldn’t convince himself that he would see you when his time came like he did with everyone else. To him, you were a once in a lifetime thing. Something he can only have in this life. The only beautiful thing that came out of the shitty Underground that has corrupted everyone who has ever dwelled there. The only light to his dark and clouded mind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,” muttered Levi in response. ‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>Really? ‘Oh?’That’s all you could think of? She probably thinks you don’t care and that her being open with you like this will probably never happen again now. By the fucking Walls, Levi. Think of something.’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>You gave him a slight head tilt. You weren’t expecting him to react the way he was right now. He may have answered in a nonchalant kind of way, but his overall atmosphere was that of a man who was very angry. Levi felt his hands get sweaty and he tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make him sound jealous and give his true feelings away. Your staring at him wasn’t helping at all. Levi’s mug was still up towards his mouth where it had stayed frozen since you spoke about what Mike told you last night, and, Levi now noticing this, slowly put his hand holding the mug back down to the table. He hoped it looked as smooth as he thought it did. It would be very embarrassing if you noticed that he had kept it by his face for so long. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He didn’t get mad or hurt you in any way, right?” Levi felt this is an important question. You can tell a lot about a man with how they react to being rejected. In the Underground, Levi and Furlan had to deal with a lot of shitty pigs when having you and even Isabel around. If Furlan dragged Levi and you out to get drinks before a long night of jobs, there would always be some nasty-ass, dirty man trying to flirt with his fellow short companion. Some of them would get handsy and it always resorted to Levi kicking their ass to teach them a lesson. Levi was really hoping that Mike was a better man than the many they encountered in the Underground, but Levi also understands that there are pigs no matter where you live.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He took my refusal pretty well, actually,” you answered with a reassuring smile. Maybe if you showed Levi that you were actually fine it would calm him down a little bit. It seemed to have worked because you watched as he took in a deep breath and released in it a huff of relief. “No need to protect me, Levi. Even Hange said I handled the situation pretty well, too. I think it’s an accomplishment for not screwing it up!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So, you really don’t feel the same for him?” Levi couldn’t look you in eyes asking that question, so instead he stared at his tea cup and the black liquid inside. He took a glance at his breakfast that he lost all his appetite for. You also had stopped touching your food, but you had it almost gone by the time Levi sat at the table. Levi truly wonders what the point of breakfast is. How can people eat in the morning , anyways? Levi was never hungry in the morning, plus eggs weren’t something he really enjoyed. He would refuse to say that he hates eggs for the very fact that they come out of a chicken’s ass if he was asked. Plus, they always looked slimy even when cooked, and slime is gross.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, I do not feel the same for him. I honestly don’t even know what those feelings would feel like anyways...you know?” Your reassuring smile turned into a sad one as you looked down at your plate. You always felt a disconnect to humanity when you couldn’t understand how normal human emotions worked. You understood what it felt like to feel happy, sad, angry, and grief. But what about this ‘love’ thing everyone, especially Michele, wants? What could possibly be good about someone like Elke falling for a man and then to lose him? The pain must be incomparable to that of just a friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t worry too much about it, brat. At least he handled it like he was supposed to, so why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And for the rest of breakfast and the walk to training, you told Levi all about last night and he listened to every word. He gave some comments on his thoughts once and a while, but you had never felt any closer to the man. Maybe you two could finally learn more about each other now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The memory brought back the same feeling you felt watching Levi react protectively towards you. It felt like a string was pulling your chest. It made you warm inside, but you couldn’t really understand what this feeling was. All you know is that it made you feel weird, and you didn’t know if you liked it or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few more minutes of waiting passed, the three of you finally started to hear the sound of the traveling carriage. You, Hange, and Moblit all walked to the gate to await the arrival of your friend. When the carriage stopped in front of you three, Moblit stepped forward to grab Elke’s luggage before the coachman could and Hange went for the carriage door to help Elke out. And to say it was a shock to see her was an understatement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the past three weeks the color in Elke’s cheeks and hair had died. She was clean, but her overall person was messy. Her buttons were in the wrong holes, her shirt and trousers were wrinkled and her maneuvering gear belts weren’t even remotely correct. She had dark circles under eyes and her cheeks had gotten hollow from, what you assumed, to be lack of proper nourishment. Then, her eyes. Two orbs that used to hold kindness and knowledge, now held pain and resentment. In front of you was not the Elke you grew to care for and call a friend. This was a new Elke. An Elke that had looked as if she just lost her whole world, and just really wanted to end hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>To say lunch wasn’t awkward and uncomfortable would be a complete lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke refused to utter a single word, and when we sat at the table she sat a few seats away from us instead of opting to sit next to Moblit as she would usually choose to do. Hange tried their best to ask Elke about her trip and any questions about Tobias or his family would cause a reaction from the strawberry blonde that you couldn’t really place. It only got worse when Levi arrived and you officially introduced the two to each other. Elke’s reaction to meeting Levi was a glare so penetrating and heated that you felt the burn from all the way across the table. The Elke you knew would have never greeted someone new that way. Plus, why would she treat Levi with such malice for no reason?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then you remembered that day of the storm. How you learned that Levi was hired to assassinate Erwin for freedom of the Underground for payment. How he had left his squad and friends in the middle of a dangerous rain storm to complete his job only to see them die in the hands of many Titans later. However, as far you knew, no one besides you, Erwin, Mike, and Levi are aware of this. If she knew of this it could explain her behavior towards Levi, but she couldn't have found out, right? But if that’s the case, why would she treat Levi in such a way?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke’s reaction only added to the feeling of self-hatred Levi constantly felt. He regretted his decision everyday, and he wonders if he would ever truly forget the mistake he made to leave his friends behind. Yes, Erwin said it was the Titans that killed them, but Levi blamed himself everyday. No one could change his mind and make him believe that he isn't the reason his beloved friends died that day. He would die with the thought that if he would have stayed with them, they would still be alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Attention!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shadis’s loud scream echoed across the mess hall scaring the shit out of you and causing you to jolt in your seat. Your reaction caused a quiet amused huff from Levi’s nose as you all turned to look at the terrifying man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A new exhibition is assigned. In five months time, after the new year, we will embark on a trip outside of the walls in search of a possible Titan to capture and use to study. Please take this time to prepare, and write to your families. Back to your meal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After his announcement, you watched Shadis walk off with Erwin following close behind. All week there have been rumors going around that the Commander was planning on stepping down soon, but depending on how the next exhibition goes, he might consider staying. You couldn’t possibly visualize the Commander actually retiring. He would most likely choose to stay in the Scouts somehow, but you couldn’t blame him for wanting to step down from the commanding position. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The amount of pressure on Shadis’s shoulder must be weighing him down immensely . You know, for a fact, that you would crumble under that pressure. Having any control on whether someone lives or dies is truly frightening. You wouldn’t mind being captain someday, but you would refuse to captain a squad. You knew you couldn’t handle the responsibility of someone else’s life in your hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You really hoped that the next exhibition would have better weather and that your friends would be able to live through it. And hopefully by then Elke will be feeling better. The process of grief would be long for her, but you truly wished that she would be emotionally better before the next exhibition. You couldn’t promise that you would be there when her mind finally snapped, or where she would be in the hands of a Titan with her head filled with grief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You just wish you will be there to save her.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>So, our dear sad friend Elke has returned. She’s having a hard time right now, but I’m sure everything will be fine, right?</p><p>A couple more chapters and we are in the canon storyline! I’m still debating heavily on whether to follow the anime or manga more. I watched the anime first, so I have it engraved more in my brain, but the manga is easier to access and not as tedious to go back and forth on...manga will probably prevail, but I still have time to decide!</p><p>Also, writing Levi's internal conflicting mind is a lot of fun. As we know he is canonically the most emotionally in tune person, but he hides it with a stoic expression and dry, vulgar humor. But what are his thoughts like, right? I like to think that for a guy who likes his life and stuff in order, his mind would be a jumbled fucking mess. Like Monica's closet in the show 'Friends.' Like- hear me out- she's OCD about everything, but her hallway closet is a mess filled with unwanted junk that she refuses to throw away. I like to think Levi's mind is like Monica's closet, you know?</p><p>Well anyways, moving on. As always, I really appreciate your thoughts in the comments, and let me know what you guys thought of the chapter!</p><p>Have a swell day and I hope to see you next Friday!</p><p>-DarthZannah</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Progression And Then Regression</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p><p>Happy Friday fellow fanfic readers! It’s update day and we’re getting to a certain chapter that I have been waiting to write since I started this fan fiction. (No, it is not this one, but in due time, my friends…)</p><p>Also, this is chapter 20 (not including the intro chapter)! That’s crazy...can’t believe I made it this long honestly haha 😃😃😅😅😩😩😭😭😭😭</p><p>Also, quick TW because Elke’s mind is not in a good place right now so this chapter and the next might be difficult to read in some spots. </p><p>More notes at the end!</p><p>-DarthZannah</p><p>P.S.</p><p>Y’all really surpassed Quotev on this fic, man. Good job lol 🙌👌👍</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>In the past three weeks you and Hange did all you could to include and help Elke, but she simply refused any conversation or act of kindness. You noticed that even her captain couldn’t even get her to speak. When we would have meals she would still sit at the same table, but chose to sit at least three to four seats away from us. Spending the entirety of the meal either staring blankly at her food or looking at the wall across the mess hall. Levi even asked you if she knew about what really happened, but seeing as she refused to let anyone in, all you could say was that you didn’t know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And you really hated not knowing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were never much of a talker or a comforter or any of that type of shit. That’s why you had Hange. They were the glue to your whole friend group. Pretty much the sole reason that you and your random group of peers was able to get along so well. They always knew what to say or do. Sure, they popped your personal bubble a lot, but Hange’s hugs were tolerable and you actually grew to love them. But what do you do when, even the person who’s very being is a ray of sunshine and love, can’t even do anything to help a friend that used to include everyone herself? It’s like the death of Tobias caused her personality to do a complete 180, and she turned into a past Underground version of yourself, but much more depressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t help that Hange was incredibly busy with thinking of ways to finally capture a Titan, and it seemed that forcing you along with them was their specialty- Moblit would tag along too, of course, to make sure Hange didn’t hurt themselves in any way. You were also getting a first hand experience of the strange growing friendship between Hange and Erwin. Maybe strange is the wrong word, but it seemed Erwin’s curiosity with the Titans was pretty similar to Hange’s. They could talk for hours simply about what the function of a Titan’s digestive system is. It was both intriguing and frightening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi’s writing and reading skills had improved exponentially as well. At this point he should be able to read and write on his own within a couple of more months. You liked to brag to Hange about his progress, and he would get embarrassed and say it wasn’t a big deal, but you secretly liked to embarrass him, so, argo, shameless bragging. Levi had also gotten into the habit of patting your head more and giving you light shoulder touches. However, you never remember his touch affecting you so much. Granted he never really touches people- because germs- but for some odd reason he touched you a lot more now, and you reacted unexpectedly. Your chest would always feel a kind of warmth that made you want to choke on air, and the area where his hand lingered would get a tingly sensation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This has never happened to you before. The first time it happened was after a lesson and Levi actually thanked you for helping him with a word he couldn’t say right. He had patted and rubbed your hair like he did after you told him you were raped when you were thirteen, and your body reacted the way you just described. The situation shook you so much that you felt your face grow warm, and you felt embarrassment grow in your stomach as you watched Levi give you a small smirk. Now ever since then he has been touching you more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he just really liked to embarrass you too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ana has been sending more letters and books to you recently. She has been trying to convince you to retire from the Scouts early and take her place as innkeeper. Her request was genuine, but she should know by now that you are a brick wall that refuses to move when you are determined with something you believe in. Ana, however, is a pushover at heart, so she easily let you have your way and her letters stopped asking you to own her business after her. It’s not as if you hadn’t thought about settling down and taking over the inn. It was a sweet and small country style inn. It even had a library where you spent your evenings with Ana learning what she taught you, but you were a woman who refused to simply live a calm and relatively normal life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You grew up in the Underground, afterall. You didn’t really understand what a normal life was. Sometimes it felt like your time at the inn was a dream. A small interlude to your hectic and dangerous life. But it happened. You had the gifted books and letters from Ana to prove it. She also knew about your attempt at teaching Levi. She has been giving you extra support when you needed help these past couple months. You told Levi that she should be the one getting his thanks, but he always disagreed saying that it was you teaching him. His subtle way of boosting your confidence and trying to help you see that you're doing a good job after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today's letter was different. It had its normal kind and loving message from Ana, but instead of one book there were two. One was for you, and the other was a book for Levi. Levi had been gifted his very first novel and you made it your priority to immediately send a thank you letter profusely thanking the kind old woman and letting her know what he thought of the book when he was finished reading it. You couldn’t wait to give it to him, but at this time you had to meet Hange about a meeting with Erwin and Shadis to discuss capture plans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You smelled them before you saw them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hange was standing outside Shadis's office door waiting for you and they smelled terrible. Almost as bad as the Underground and that is saying something. Because Hange has been in their lab almost constantly, they haven’t been to your shared dorm in over a week. It also seems they haven't been to the showers in that time either, and boy were they pungent. You scrunched up your nose in disgust when they lifted their arms to wave at you. When you saw them walk forward and try to hug you, however, you went into defense mode. You grabbed both of Hange’s wrists, turned them towards the wall, and firmly pressed their face first against it. Gripping their wrists together tightly behind their back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When the actual fuck was the last time you showered Hange?” You gagged. They smelled absolutely horrible. You really hoped this wasn’t one of those times you would have to force Hange to clean themselves again. The last time happened in the Training Corps and they were under a lot of stress from Titan killing training. It wasn't like they were doing a bad job, but we all have our moments when random things seem to make us anxious for no reason. To make the story short, you had to have help from Elke and an unknown number of other girls to force her to bathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kinky,” was all Hange muttered before they started to giggle at your very confused facial expression. They gave a small grunt when you pressed their face farther into the wall. This was how you showed your friends you cared for their well being right? Plus, you really didn’t want them to hug you if they smelled like that. “Okay, fine. I think It was about two weeks ago. So what? I’m busy.” They made an exaggerated huffing noise. They weren’t really bothered by your man handling, but they would never say out loud that they enjoyed it maybe- slightly- a little too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I seriously going to have to make you clean yourself again?” You dropped your hold on Hange releasing them from the wall. They turned to face you again, but this time kept their hands to themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only if you want to, babe, I won't stop you,” they gave you a teasing wink, and you felt your face grow warm. Hange’s personality still confused you sometimes, and the things they said always made you question your life choices. Maybe you shouldn't be so dominating around them like that anymore…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For fucks sake, Hange…” you grumbled before bee-lining straight for The Commander’s office where Erwin and Shadis were waiting. You heard Hange laugh loudly behind you.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>You had recruited the only other person you knew for sure would help get Hange clean and presentable enough to your standards. Levi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only, it seemed, Hange’s sole purpose was to make this process extra difficult for you. They fought you and Levi like their life depended on it, and it eventually caused Levi to just knock them out with a swift kick to the back of their head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’ll work,” you sighed. Levi really liked to kick things it seemed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You two opted to bathe Hange instead of trying to keep them standing in the shower. Levi refused to take their clothes off saying their clothing smells just as bad as they do, so you two cleaned Hange fully clothed in a bathtub. You told Levi about the letter you received from Ana today and that it came with a surprise book for him. He seemed genuinely shocked that a stranger would gift him something, but, in his way, he seemed very thankful for a new book to get his hands on. He was getting tired of the boring stories in the library, and always was curious as to what your older friend’s taste in novels was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When you two finished bathing Hange, you told Levi to wait outside while you changed their clothes. When you finished you two carried them back to your shared dorm and laid them on  their bed where they can rest peacefully for the rest of the afternoon. You were thankful you decided to wait till after dinner to clean Hange, so hopefully they can get some well deserved rest. Even though their rest was inflicted by a kick to the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke was sitting on the roof by herself. She has been up there hiding since after dinner, and she lost count of the times she has thought about just jumping and ending it all. But that wouldn't do at all. She wasn’t the type of woman to take the easy way out. She never had suicidal tendencies before, but ever since Tobias passed, she has been falling down a dark abyss of pain, fear, and self loathing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew she was pushing her dear friends away, but she couldn’t help it. It’s like her inner demon was constantly trying to take over. Telling her that if she let them in they wouldn’t understand. That they would simply brush her off and tell her that she is invalid. You grew up in the Underground, afterall. You had seen horrors Elke could only imagine. You would probably think she is weak and can’t handle anything. Hange would probably try to cheer her up with a fake smile and weak hugs instead of their normal strong ones, and Moblit would simply stay silent and secretly not care at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke needed Tobias. No, Elke </span>
  <em>
    <span>craved</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tobias.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was merely her ghost now. He was everywhere. He was standing in front of her right now. At the edge of the roof just staring at her. Waiting for her. But she wouldn’t jump. No, the real Tobias would not forgive her if she just gave up now. She had to keep fighting for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But why did he have to die? Why was the only one who survived that damned Levi? A man who came from the Underground with no military training. A man who was a criminal, and not kind hearted and true like Tobias. Tobias was perfect. This Levi was not. How could a malnourished, short asshole kill five Titans on his own?! Not even you could do that and you were a better fighter than Mike. Why did Tobias die, while that untrustworthy man lived? It wasn’t fair. It was like fate purposefully put her and Tobias together only to rip him right from her grasp. It was cruel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. Elke could not kill herself. She had to earn justice first. She deserved justice for Tobias’s death, and only Levi was to blame. She didn’t care if you two were friends before, she had to find a way during the next exhibition to avenge her lover’s death. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had to find a way for Levi Ackerman to die.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>What did y’all think? Elke, my dear, I love you, please get better. Let us help you, love!</p><p>Also, (F/N)’s a top. If you can’t tell I’m bi-sexual and also simp for Hange. Hange is love. Hange is life.</p><p>“Fun” question prompt you can answer in the comments if you wish:</p><p>“When do you think you, (F/N), will die? How do you think you will die? Or do you believe you will survive?”</p><p>As always feel free to leave comments on your thoughts and what not! </p><p>Hope you have a swell day and I’ll see you next Friday!</p><p>-DarthZannah</p><p>P.S.</p><p>Let me know if you like the idea of these comment question-prompt things. I really do like to read what people think will happen, so I thought this would be a fun way to interact in the comments.</p><p>Okay? Bye. 💕</p><p>P.S.S.</p><p>Why did I make the decision to make up a title for each chapter anyway?! Sometimes thinking of a name is harder than writing the damned thing. Cheese and rice, man.</p><p>Okay. Bye. 👋</p><p>P.S.S.</p><p>For those of you who are caught up with the manga and have read chapter 138, I challenge you to play the song, My Tears Are Becoming a Sea by M83 during that one part (you know what I mean) and try not to bawl your eyes out.</p><p>Okay. I’m serious now. Bye. ✌👋💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Fall of Shiganshina Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p><p>That's right. It's time. To you, 2,000 years from now...</p><p>Prepare for some heavy ass shit in these next two chapters. Elke is at her breaking point and you're all about to go on one of the worst exhibitions the Scouts experience so far. I believe there were only like 20 survivors, so yeah...</p><p>Oh, no, less than 20 survivors...so...yeah...</p><p>More notes at the end and TW for suicidal thoughts, possible suicidal attempt, child abuse (I'm sorry about this), and anxiety/panic attacks. Note this warning is for both part one and part two.</p><p>-DarthZannah</p><p>P.S.</p><p>Thank you for over 100 Kudos and over 2,000 Hits! Yay! 😃😃</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>You and the rest of your squad- and the added bodies of Hange and Moblit- were currently facing the gate of Shiganshina. The long awaited exhibition had finally arrived, and all you felt was dread. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Commander’s plan was to aim for a wooded area. He believed it would be easiest to corner a Titan in a closed off space. Captain Erwin’s squad was in charge of cutting the Titan down enough to immobilize it. Then the Commander’s squad and Hange would be in charge of roping the Titan down to keep it in place. The rest of the Scouts would survey the nearby area and assure that no other Titans would make it through and ruin the experiments. It was a dangerous plan. Not only because you were attempting to capture a Titan for the first time, but also because it was a lot harder to see Titans surrounded by trees. They could pop out from anywhere and if you weren’t paying enough attention, you would end up being that very Titan’s meal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This, however, wasn’t your greatest concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few squads behind you sat Elke. You watched these past months as her mental state continued to slowly deteriorate. She started to completely cut you and Hange out. She no longer sat at your table, and she began talking to herself. You overheard her a week ago have a whole conversation about her day as if she was talking to Tobias. It shattered your heart to see her like this. Hange would never show it, but you could tell it was affecting them as well. Hange has not been as vocal and excited about things lately and they spent meal times looking over at Elke with the saddest expression you have ever seen on their face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke’s hostility towards Levi grew as well. She spent most of her time glaring at him, and you worried greatly for his safety during this exhibition. Yes, Levi could defend himself, but what if Elke actually tried to attack him in some sort of way? You wished that she hadn’t lost her mind enough to try that, but you couldn’t rule out the possibility either. You were so worried about this detail that you actually confided in Erwin. You told him about Elke’s condition, and what you were worried she might attempt. From suicide to murder, you aired your grienvances about your friend to the man you truly respect, and he listened to you with his full attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He promised to keep the meeting a secret, but he will ask the Commander to assign her squad close by so you and Erwin could keep an eye on her. Then if she attempted anything, you would be close enough to stop and help her if needed. This made you breathe a little easier, but it didn’t help your nerves at all. You began to have breathing attacks at night again. The first one you ever had was when you were ten. It was the first night after you were raped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your little beaten and battered body was laying on your straw bed. You hadn’t washed or slept since, and spent the entire day inside your little shack of a home. It was nighttime now, and you had jobs to do tonight, but you didn’t want to leave the cloud of imaginary safety you had in this run down, sorry excuse of a home. The person that hurt you could be out there, and you didn’t want to get hurt again. There was only so much you could do with your small body to protect yourself. Plus, you had hardly any energy left to even make a significance in defense. You were a hopeless cause.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The thought of having to leave brought complete dread to your mind. All of a sudden your chest began to close in on itself. It felt like someone was sitting directly on your lungs, and that thought made you think of last night, and that made it even more difficult to breathe. You started to gasp for air, but nothing would come through. You pathetically gripped at your chest with your hands, but you just felt numb. All you felt was the pain of trying to breathe. You lost your sense of smell and a loud ringing began to go off in your ears.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next thing you remember, you woke up hours later. The pain was gone, and you could breathe again. You then realized it was morning now, and you would have to go around to apologize to the people who hired you and explain you could finish the jobs tonight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You didn’t bother to change or clean. It seemed to be useless at this point. You made your way to the main square. You decided to stop at your most difficult employer first. He was a large man who liked to hire you to clean small places around his shop and upstairs apartment. He was a complete asshole and if you missed the tiniest spot he would punch or kick you. It depended on his mood, of course. You were hoping he was in a good mood today, but with how your luck was going lately, you knew you shouldn’t get your hopes up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You finally reached the square and it was rather busy today. People were hustling and arguing here and there. Hardly anyone paid attention to you as you made your way through the throng of bodies. You kept your eyes to the ground and subconsciously made your way to the shop of the dreaded employer. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was standing outside as if he was waiting for you. When you got into his line of sight he gave you a sneer. You stopped in your tracks, and felt a slight tug of fear in your gut. Today's beating was going to be gruesome it seemed. He slowly beckoned you with his right index finger, and you forced your legs to move towards him. He noticed your slight hesitation and it caused a smirk to morph on his face that made you want to vomit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘</span>
  </em>
  <span>Fucking asshole,’</span>
  <em>
    <span> you thought to yourself. You finished making your way over to him. Instead of grabbing you and throwing you inside to beat you as usual, this time he decided to get it over with right away. As soon as you stopped in front of him he kicked you in the stomach. The force sent you flying into the street where people jumped out of the way. You fell on the dirt ground hard. You started to feel a searing pain in the back of your head from it being slammed into the ground the hardest. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You tried to lift yourself off the ground, but right when you merely managed to lift your head, the employer came and, with more force than necessary, slammed his foot on your forehead, and pushed the back of your head into the dirt again. You could feel the warm blood trickling on your neck, and now some began to flow from a wound on your forehead where his heel cut your skin. The pain was triggering. Even though you couldn’t remember what exactly happened to you two nights ago, this whole situation brought blurry memories to your mind, and it caused your chest to tighten again. He beat you more with kicks and punches. The people surrounding you did nothing to help. You thought you were going to die until the punches stopped. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was yelling and you thought you heard someone get stabbed, but your mind kept going in and out of focus. Eventually someone’s shadow loomed over you, and you tried to curl up in a ball of defense but you were in too much pain to move. You could only whimper as the shadow kneeled beside you, but, instead of feeling punches, arms wrapped around your small frame and lifted you up. They held you head with one arm and their other arm carried your knees. Your malnourishment made you lighter than a feather and easy to carry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next thing you know you were placed sitting up against a wall. You barely remember what your savior looked like or what they said to you. You later realized that it was a boy, the sound of his voice had soothed you. He helped wrap up your cuts, and you vaguely remember him saying that it will get better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know a strong kid when I see one,” he said. It  brought tears to your eyes. He then gave you a handkerchief. It was one of the most beautiful pieces of cloth you had ever seen. It was embroidered with green vines and- what you now know as- daisies. It also had the letter ‘K’ in the bottom right corner. You thanked him and promised to keep it safe. You really wished you could have remembered what he looked like, but your head had received so much trauma that day that his shape was only a blur. A mere shadow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since then you have experienced many breathing attacks. Hange had been there for a couple and helped you get through them. They always seemed to happen at random, and you still don’t understand why you get them, but you have found ways to make them less impactful and shorter. Something that always helped was holding the handkerchief. You had kept it all these years. You refused to use it, fearing you could damage it or get it dirty. It was only safe either in your chest by the foot of your bed or hidden in one of the pockets of your uniform where you could keep an eye on it during exhibitions. It held such a significance to you because that day you learned that not everyone will abandon you during a time of need, and the handkerchief was always there to remind you of that in case you forgot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But with Elke’s behavior, you have been constantly on edge and nervous. Your senses twitched with anticipation, and sleeping was even more difficult than before. You’re pretty sure you only got a total of one hour of sleep this entire month. Levi has scolded you- the hypocrite- about your lack of sleep, but when you mention he is just as bad he shuts up, but not without a ‘tch’ and roll of his eyes, of course.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi was officially done with his lessons. He didn’t need you to teach him anymore, and, for some reason, this made you sad. You had grown attached to the everyday lessons with him, and you were going to miss seeing him every night. This thought made you feel a little clingy, but the short, sarcastic, asshole has grown on you, and you had been secretly wishing he would never finish how to learn to read and write. Is this how Ana felt after teaching you and when you left to join the Training Corps? If so, you felt even worse for not taking her emotions into more consideration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oi, brat. Back to reality, or don’t cry when you become Titan food.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You looked to your right to see Levi giving you a look. You rolled your eyes at him and flipped him off in your way of thanking him and to show your gratitude. This made Hange crack up and Levi lower his eyes at you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Calm your tiny ass, Levi,” you shot back, “The gate’s not even opened yet ‘cause the damn Garrison is too drunk to find the crank. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Such a little spitfire,” Hange giggled beside you. This made you whip your head to them and give them a friendly showing of your middle finger as well. This made them laugh more, and it made a happy warmth grow in your chest and a small smile to your face. Even though all of you have been under immense pressure these past few months, it was still nice to be able to joke around with each other once and a while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t get too distracted by your Titan,” you warned, suddenly worrying about your friend, “Don’t want to die saving your ass because the Titan shit or something stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?! Were you not paying attention in the meetings, (F/N)?!” Hange aggressively yelled, scaring the shit out of their horse, “Captain Erwin and I had theorized that Titans don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The gate’s bell started to ring, completely drowning out Hange’s tangent, much to yours, Levi’s, and Moblit’s relief. Their excitement for Titans could be very tiring, and with you and Moblit having to deal with it almost 24/7 recently had begun to fry your brain and exhaust you. It was truly remarkable how Hange could go on for hours about their theories and still have even more new and “exciting” things to talk about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You gave a quick glance around behind you at your fellow soldiers in search of one with strawberry blonde hair and sky blue eyes. You eventually caught sight of her, but, once again, instead of a kind smile, you saw a woman you still didn’t recognize. Her eyes were looking right back at you, but they weren’t focused. She was frowning deeply, and it looked like there was a hint of guilt in her expression. This scared and worried you even more than you were before. If she wasn’t planning on something dangerous, then she wouldn’t look at you like that, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Forcing yourself to look away you looked straight ahead of you to meet the blue eyes that were always hidden under the largest eyebrows you have ever seen. He gave you a look of concern, and you merely nodded your head once to show him you were here to serve, and that you wouldn’t let this hinder your performance. Erwin believed that you, Mike, and now Levi were his strongest soldiers. Not just in his squad, but the Scouts as a whole. Because of this you refused to disappoint the man in any way. During this exhibition it is your sole purpose to protect. You have to protect Hange, Levi, and Elke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You must protect Hange from Titans. Protect Levi from Elke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And protect Elke from herself.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>Decided to split up the Fall of Shiganshina into two parts. The second part will be posted next Friday like every chapter. There was just too much I wanted to get in, sorry. If I kept it one chapter it would be longer than 'the Storm' chapter...and that one I should have split up too, but anyways.</p><p>Question Prompt:</p><p>"What do you think the 'K' stands for on the handkerchief? Also, If you know the answer for the 'K' then you know who saved you as a kiddo, and, no, you were too beaten up and bloodied for him to recognize you later on."</p><p>As always, feel free to tell me how you liked the chapter and your thoughts and rambles!</p><p>Hope you have a swell day, and see you next Friday!</p><p>-DarthZannah💖</p><p>P.S. </p><p>I am a very music inclined person- my major in college was vocal performance (fun fact), and a lot of my inspiration comes from listening to music. I am literally a person who listens to those playlists on YouTube based on Anime characters...</p><p>Point is: I have two songs that fit Levi and (F/N) so freaking well that are constantly in my head when I write parts with their interactions. I will officially dub those songs their "Love Themes."</p><p>Levi: "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby," by Cigarettes After Sex💖<br/>(F/N): "Neptune," by Sleeping At Last 🌹❤</p><p>Note: "I Hear a Symphony" by Cody Fry is also stuck in my head too now because of TikTok and it makes me cry every time I listen to it...but it also reminds me of this fic too so...😭😭✨✨</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Fall of Shiganshina Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p><p>Okay, but like, I couldn't wait haha!</p><p>Seeing as it was supposed to be one chapter anyways, it makes sense to post part two today as well, right?! 😅👍👌👌</p><p>Well, anyways, here's part two! If you haven't read part one yet I suggest you do that!</p><p>More notes at the end!</p><p>_DarthZannah 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>You were racing through the forest with Hange and Moblit on your heels. Shit went wrong as soon as the Scouts entered the forest. You had lost complete visual of your squad and you have now been riding around with your friends aimlessly, hoping by some miracle you would find someone- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>- soon. It felt like the Titans had been waiting for you all. As soon as you saw one and the formation split off, the more popped out of nowhere. You had no idea who was left, and the fact that Levi isn’t with you made you freak out even more. For all you knew, your whole squad could be dead right now, and that fucking terrified you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your racing thoughts were immediately interrupted by the scream of a sound grenade going off to the East of you. You stopped abruptly, forcing Hange and Moblit to force their horses to halt right behind you. Your breathing was erratic, and you tried your hardest to calm your racing heart. After coughing from trying to force some air into your lungs. You looked back at Hange and Moblit who also seemed just as frantic and worried as you. At this point you would take the storm with fog that obscured your vision over these fucking big ass trees any day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need to go that way,” you ordered in between your forced breaths, “If we’re lucky everyone is alive, and we haven’t lost too many soldiers.” At this moment you realized your hands were shaking. This is the most stressed you have ever been on an exhibition and it barely started. You all had been out for a measly fucking two hours, and have been seperated for approximately 20 minutes. That’s 20 minutes away from your squad. That’s 20 fucking minutes of not knowing where Levi and a mentally ill Elke are.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your two friends nodded in response and that’s all you needed before you rode off with your horse with Hange and Moblit close behind. You forced yourself to pay close attention to your surroundings and listened intently for the slightest sound. After a minute of riding a Titan popped out from behind a tree to your left and it bounded towards Moblit. Without thinking you attached your hooks to its shoulder and pulled yourself to its neck, slicing its nape in a matter of seconds. Once you were through, you attached to a nearby tree as the Titan fell to the ground with a thud. When it started to release steam you returned to the ground and whistled your horse over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As you mounted your horse, Moblit thanked you and you gave a slight nod in response before you started riding towards the East again. If you all managed to live through this, you planned to give everyone actual hugs yourself.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes ago Levi had heard the sound grenade go off and started to make his way towards it. Levi had gotten separated from the squad and was by himself right now. Michele was near him earlier, but she was taken down by an abnormal and Levi wasn’t close enough to kill the Titan in time to save her. The very fact that you weren’t with him had caused his anxiety to shoot through the roof. He could only hope that you were still alive and were making your way towards the sound grenade like he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was unlucky enough to get forced to the side where most of the Titans were. He has probably killed at least ten now, and he was forcing himself not to stop and wipe off his face and hands from all the Titan blood sitting on his skin. It was disgusting. He couldn’t risk stopping at a time like this. There were too many trees obscuring his vision, and he had to make it to the sound grenade area as soon as possible to see if you were okay or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of riding Levi had noticed it had gotten rather quiet, and hadn't encountered another Titan. This set him more on edge, but he kept pushing forward until he made it to a clearing with someone lying down in the middle of it. Stopping his horse near the body he noticed it was Elke and they were covered in blood, but it was steaming so it was most likely only Titan’s blood. Her eyes were closed and there were tear streaks separating the blood down her face. She kept mumbling something over and over again that Levi barely heard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dismounting his horse he took a look around to make sure that there weren’t any Titans waiting to hop out and attack. When it seemed safe to continue he made his way slowly over to the women who had started to sob. At this point Levi could make out the phrase, “Why do I even keep fighting.” This made him clench his fists, but he kept walking towards her nevertheless. He understood the pain Elke was feeling, but with the glares from the past months, Levi knew he still needed to be cautious around her. Just in case she tried anything. The mind of a person in grief could be unpredictable afterall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oi, Elke,” he calmly said her name, hoping that she heard him over her sobbing. She must have heard him because her crying stopped and her head slightly tilted towards where Levi stopped near her head so he could get a clear view of her face. “Did you set off the sound grenade?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed as if her whole body went still. For a second Levi thought she died until she slowly sat up and looked up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot, and hair was matted from where she laid down on it. She was definitely a sorry sight to behold, but with the amount of Titans there were to kill, Levi couldn’t blame her for the condition she was in. He most likely didn’t look any better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” she rasped before she started to cough a little. The tears were still falling from her face, but she seemed to have calmed down enough. Levi cautiously watched and took a couple of steps away from her as she stood up and faced him. “There were so many Titans...my whole squad is gone. I used the Captain’s sound grenade.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed in the time that Elke ignored her friends she forgot how to talk properly to others. Her speech was broken and she spoke very quietly. Barely over a whisper. Levi could feel her pain radiating off of her like the heat from a strong fire. It was almost suffocating to stand even a few feet away from her. She looked him in the eyes with the most lackluster expression that would put his to shame.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why, what?” Levi asked. He was a little confused by her abrupt question. He couldn’t tell if she was asking about the Titans, why he was here, or if she was asking about Tobias. He speculated it was most likely about Tobias, but to talk about it now of all times was pushing it. Why couldn’t she have asked before the exhibition, or, if they managed to live, after the exhibition? When they weren’t in fucking Titan territory would have been nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did Tobias have to die? Why did you live?” Levi noticed that her hands had moved to her blade handles and she was gripping them rather hard. He began to move his own hands to his blades, getting ready in case she decided to strike.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, I ask myself the same question everyday, “ Levi answered. This, however, didn’t please Elke. It seemed that no matter what Levi had answered her reaction would have been the same. Everything seemed to slow down as Elke released her blades and rushed at Levi. Just as quickly Levi brought out his blades preparing to block her strike. She first tried to stab his stomach, but he was able to block her movement, and pushed her with just enough force away from him. Levi refused to kill her, even if she was intent on doing him in. It would be too cruel to kill a friend of yours over this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tried lunging again, but Levi was able to block her easily. At this point she was sobbing again, and was breathing heavily. She was on her final leg and the fight had barely even started. At this time Levi also heard the sounds of horses galloping from the west side of the clearing. It sounded like a few more Scouts had found their way to where the sound grenade was launched. He briefly hoped one of them was you, but Elke thrusted a blade at him again, so his thoughts were interrupted. This time it seemed Elke took advantage of her disadvantage. When Levi blocked one of her blades with both of his, she lifted her other one to slice his arm off. However right when she brought down the blade a force the size of Levi tackled him out of the way. He heard a quiet noise of pain from the person, and that’s when he realized it was you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke made a noise of complete horror when she realized she sliced the top of your left thigh open. You felt immense pain and heat coming from the open wound as you released your hold on Levi. Who now after realizing it was you frantically sat up and turned to you to assess the damage. Hange and Moblit came running over with a healing kit as Elke watched the whole situation in pure fear. Levi helped you turn on you back so Hange could have better access to your wound. They cut off any piece of fabric from your trousers that was in the way and immediately got to work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one dared to speak as Hange cleaned, stitched, and wrapped the wound. Elke kept pacing back and forth muttering to herself the whole time. You would live, but the scar was going to be rather ugly. Just another one to add to the list of ones you already had. Levi had moved behind you so you could lean on his chest as Hange worked on you. Moblit was standing beside Hange with immense worry on his face. Sometimes he forgets that you get into as much danger as Hange, and this made him worry even more about your safety. Levi was gripping onto your biceps as if he was afraid you were going to fall over, and, frankly, with how dizzy you were feeling right now, you were thankful for the extra support.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Hange finally finished with your wound they patted your hand before cleaning up. At this Elke started to sob and launched herself at you. You felt Levi tense behind you as Elke grabbed your hands and kissed them each. You felt her tears wipe on your hands and you resisted the urge to cringe. Now was not the time to worry about the cleanliness of your hands. Elke was finally showing emotion towards one of her friends, and you needed to support her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” she hiccuped, “I don’t know what’s gotten over me. I can’t decide if I should kill myself or hurt Levi for something that he couldn’t even control.” She sobbed harder and she seemed to hold onto your hands as if they were her lifeline. “I’m so so sorry, (F/N). I know you might not ever forgive me. I mean I tried to kill someone you care about. What the fuck is wrong with me?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You felt your heart break once again for your dear friend. You suddenly got an idea and forced her to release one of your hands. Elke looked even more hurt until she realized you were reaching into your uniform pocket. You were still worried about it getting dirty, but Levi was really good at getting stains out, so you could have him help you later. You pulled out the handkerchief that meant so much to you, and handed it over to a friend how needed it more right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, for your tears,” you said as you placed the handkerchief in her hand. You felt Levi still behind you when he saw the handkerchief, but you were too preoccupied with Elke to realize he was in utter shock. A memory he had engraved in his brain rushed into his conscious thoughts as Elke slowly enclosed her hand around the piece of cloth and looked at you in astonishment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi was walking the square this morning. He was getting annoyed because people kept calling him a young boy or kid. He was fifteen for fucks sake. Sure he was short, and puberty may be a little late for him, but he was still growing. He was sure that in at least a year he would be as tall as Kenny was. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A couple of years had passed since Kenny abandoned him when he was thirteen. It still pissed Levi off when he thought of Kenny. Sure, it was nice that the murderer took Levi in when he was eight after his mother, Kuchel, died, but to just leave him after teaching him how to kill and survive was irritating. He was lucky enough to meet Furlan a few months after, but it sucked to be abandoned by the only father figure he had in his life.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All of a sudden sounds of beating entered his ear drums. He noticed everyone around was surrounding an area near a store he refused to go to because it was never clean enough for his standards. He noticed the store owner was currently beating up a small child. They were laying on the ground, barely able to move their head when the store owner slammed their head into the ground. This made Levi’s chest hurt. One thing he hated about Kenny was the “discipline” he gave. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In a rage Levi pulled out his knife and jumped at the store owner, slamming him to the ground. Once he was on top of the man he stabbed him in the throat and then twice in the stomach. No matter what this child did, they did not deserve to be treated in such a manner. When the man stopped moving, Levi got off of him and wiped his knife on the man’s pants and made a mental note to clean it thoroughly later. He turned towards the child and made his way over cautiously in order not to frighten them. The child whimpered when he knelt beside them and that’s when he noticed that it was a girl.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was covered in dirt and blood and the bruises and swelling on her face made it hard for him to see what she looked like. It shocked him to notice that the whole time she was being beaten, she did not cry once. He carefully lifted her up and started to carry her to a nearby alleyway by a store that was actually clean enough for his standards. He gently placed her sitting up against the wall and mumbled he would be right back, but she didn’t really seem to understand what was going on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He rushed into the store and grabbed all the supplies he needed to help clean and wrap her wounds and once he paid he ran back out. She was right where he left her, but she kept going in and out of consciousness. He would be surprised if she managed to remember what happened after today. Levi took his time cleaning the cuts on her head and on the rest of her body where she didn’t have clothing covering herself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When he finally finished he tried to talk to her, find out where she lived. She could barely open her mouth, and this caused tears to form in her eyes. Levi felt terrible for this kid he barely knew, but he knew she was strong. So it was then that Levi decided to give her one of the last possessions he had left of his mother’s. It was a handkerchief that was embroidered with green vines and daisies- his mother’s favorite flower. It also had her first name’s initial on the bottom right corner- a ‘K.’ This piece of cloth meant so much to him, but this little girl needed it more than he did now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It will get better,” he whispered, handing the handkerchief to her, “I know a strong kid when I see one.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of Elke sobbing and you gaining your strength back, the remaining Scouts found the clearing. When Erwin asked what happened you all said it was an accident, but Erwin made you promise later to tell him what really happened when there weren’t others around to hear. This annoyed Levi who hadn’t left your side since the altercation happened. He was not only in shock that you put your life in danger to save him, but also for the fact that you were the girl he saved from being beaten to death in the Underground. If he hadn’t saved you back then, you two would have never met all those years later. He hasn’t told you of this discovery yet, but once you two made it back to headquarters he was going to. Right now you all needed to worry only for making it home alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elke was still upset and quiet, but after you gave her the handkerchief she has been holding onto it as if it was the only thing keeping her together. She still couldn’t believe that you were all willing to forgive her. She didn’t deserve your friendships. Hell, she didn’t deserve Levi’s forgiveness, but she was very thankful nonetheless. She never knew you could be so understanding, either. This made her realize how little she thought of you, and this fact made her feel even guiltier. No, she did not deserve your forgiveness. She vowed to properly apologize to you and Levi when you all returned home.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the Scouts finally returned to the gates that afternoon they had only 20 survivors left. It was devastating. The amount of Titans was overwhelming, and the only ones left of your squad were you, Levi, Mike, and Erwin. Hange, Moblit, and Elke had lost all of their own squad members as well. Almost everyone was injured in some way as well. You looked down at your own wrapped thigh in disdain. The pain had made it impossible for you to use your gear, but luckily Levi was there to help out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk through Shiganshina was brutal. Everyone was complaining about what a waste of tax dollars we were again. You noticed a boy- most likely standing on a box to see- with a look of awe on his face that vanished when something even you weren’t expecting happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me…” a middle aged woman yelled as she ran out of the crowd and grabbed onto Commander Shadis in desperation. “My son...I don’t see my son, Braun, here!” Gripping tighter onto Shadis’s shirt she cried, “Where is my son?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were a few horses behind Shadis and couldn’t really see what he was doing. You watched as he turned to one of his subordinates and said something to them. They then handed him something wrapped in a ripped cloak. After he handed it to her she unwrapped the fabric and there was a severed arm inside. This made you shift uncomfortably in your horse as Shadis explained to the woman that that was all that was left of her son. You felt your chest tighten when she screamed in grief and pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even if he didn’t achieve anything directly...his death-” she choked on a sob as she tried to beg for closure from the Commander, “His death brought humanity one step closer to beating them </span>
  <em>
    <span>back,</span>
  </em>
  <span> right?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” But after yelling this Shadis paused and looked to the ground with a hung head. He then said something you were all thinking, but never said out loud, “No...our survey this time...this time, too- we- we accomplished </span>
  <em>
    <span>NOTHING</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone gathered looked at the rundown Commander in horror and disbelief as he continued, “Because of my incompetence, all I did was get my soldiers killed! WE DIDN’T GET ANY CLOSER TO FINDING OUT WHAT THOSE THINGS REALLY ARE!!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You wish this made the surrounding people more forgiving, but it caused more disdainful words towards you and your comrades, but at this point you were too tired to give a damn. You looked over at the boy and noticed he tried to start a fight with an older man, but was pulled away by a friend. It caused a commotion and many curious stares, but as soon as the Scouts started to move again, all was forgotten.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>When you and the Scouts were within an hour to Wall Rose and home, a Garrison branch soldier came to your Commander with a message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wall Maria has been breached! There are Titans roaming around Shiganshina and killing civilians!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This made everyone stop in their riding and look at the messenger in absolute horror. What could have possibly broken through one of the Walls? What had that power? He stopped his horse next to Shadis who had stopped at the unbelievable news.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a Titan taller than the wall itself. It kicked in the gate!” He was still screaming at you all in terror as he continued relaying the message, “Then another Titan barged through the gate leading into Wall Maria’s territory!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You felt ice flow through your veins. The fact that there were Titans killing people you swore to protect made you sick, and you couldn’t do anything about it. You were injured. Hell, over half of the remaining Scouts were too injured to fight. You all turned to Commander Shadis for his instruction. The Scouts were at least two hours away from Shiganshina, the chances of making it there in time to help even in the slightest was slim.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, my soldiers, but there is nothing we can do.” He looked around at his remaining Scouts with so much remorse. He could not risk sacrificing any more lives. They wouldn’t be of much use anyways. The only ones who would be able to fight were him, a couple of his squad, Erwin, and Levi. It would be a waste of time and energy to ride all the way back for a cause that is already lost. “I’m sure they have already evacuated the survivors. I suggest you ride with us the rest of the way to Wall Rose, there is no point of you returning, soldier.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that you all silently rode your horses  and wagons the rest of the way home with guilt and grief further plaguing your minds. Today would be known as the day Shiganshina fell, and humanity lost once again to the Titans.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>So, no it was not Kenny haha!</p><p>Also, we didn't die, so yay!</p><p>Just another scar to add to our list of shit. Also, glad (F/N) was able to help Elke out of her hard place- sure you had to get injured first, but it's the thought that counts, right? Plus all friendships have a point where you accidently cut their leg open, right? 😅😅✨✨👏👏✨✨</p><p>Also, I love stories where the love interests find out that they met more than once and that meeting affected them in a certain way. It's like a full circle kind of thing, you know?</p><p>Or as (F/N) would say, "It's a fucking coincidence."</p><p>"Purely coincidental," you could say! 👌👍👏😜</p><p>New Question Prompt:</p><p>"When the Hell do you think Levi is going to tell you how he feels? Do you think Hange will pester him enough to tell you?"</p><p>As always feel free to tell me how you liked the chapter!</p><p>Have a swell day/night/whatever and I hope to see you next Friday!</p><p>-DarthZannah 💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Quick A/N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hello there!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Due to health reasons I am not feeling up to updating this week! Excuse my french, but I feel like shit, but next week I will have a new chapter for y’all, so don’t fret.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Also, quick note! At the end of this month I will be practically moving across the country, so updates might be sporadic towards that time, but I’ll keep you guys updated!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My apologies,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-DarthZannah 💖</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. From One Captain to Another</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p><p>Happy Friday fellow fanfic readers! This chapter is a little long, but I needed happiness too...</p><p>Read the finale. Cried. That’s all I can say. Thanks to people on the YouTube for making playlists that equal my pain...😭😭😭😭</p><p>(Totally did not start rewatching Yuri! On Ice again for much needed serotonin...nope.)</p><p>So, in order to avoid having to post a chapter to let you guys know there won’t be an update, I have decided to give y’all my Twitter account so I can post updates and random shit on there! I also have a TikTok, but I really only use it to watch anime fanart and secretly simp over characters and judge exasperating fandoms…</p><p>*cough**cough* My Hero Academia *cough**cough* (don’t come at me for saying this lol AOT fandom has done some messed up shit too, but this one takes the cake for me...love the show though).</p><p>As of right now I’ll only use my Twitter, but if y’all want me to post on TikTok too I’ll consider it. Thank you, Jellibean, for reminding me that we do have social media in this world, and it might be a good idea to use it! 👌👍😋😋</p><p>@darthzannahfic is the Twitter account- literally changed my username to match...it used to be greeneyedsloth lol (sloths are my favorite animal...)😀😀</p><p>I’ll share my TikTok if you guys want me to post on there too, but let me know!</p><p>More notes at the end, of course!</p><p>-DarthZannah 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>After being stuck in the infirmary with other injured soldiers for a solid three hours, you were finally released by a fairly stressed and upset nurse. Her attitude was understandable. The amount of patients would be overwhelming for anyone, and not to mention the number could have been higher if more people were to have survived. You just hoped that things would settle down for them soon and they could get the well deserved rest they needed. You were also thankful that the nurse didn’t ask too many questions about your particular injury, and welcomed her scolding for it cutting so deep. You blatantly redirected any questions she asked regarding the injury as she cleaned it more thoroughly and restitched it. Hange had done a good job, but you think their nerves might have gotten the best of them, because a few stitches had already loosened by the time the Scouts had returned to headquarters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When you left the infirmary you were greeted by a strong but gentle hug from a much taller human than you. You knew immediately it was Hange and took their hug with exasperated gratitude. In truth, you were rather exhausted, and the events of the day began to weigh heavily on your soldiers. You knew that Elke was still suffering, but you truly hoped that now she could finally start getting better after having finally let out her frustrations. When Hange finally released their hold on you, they stepped to your side and slung their arm loosely around your shoulders and leaned their body slightly down on you as you took a look at who was behind them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You first saw Levi who, on the outside, looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, but internally was thanking whoever the Hell was listening that you were okay. He was leaning against the wall and he looked just as exhausted as you, and you felt a pull in your gut when you locked eyes with him. He gave you a slight tilt to his head as if to ask if you needed anything and you answered with a small smile and slight shake to you head. He must have accepted your answer because he just looked away from your eyes to the ground. That is when you realized he probably felt guilty, or at least upset about what happened with Elke. You would have to talk with him later to let him know that there really wasn’t anything he could have done. You were just thankful that he got out of this unscathed. In a way, you were upset with the way Elke handled her grief, but she wasn’t in her right mind. The person that attacked Levi wasn’t the friend you grew to know. She was taken over by a monster that blinded her with anger and resentment and the need to seek revenge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Speaking of Elke she was currently standing next to Moblit, about ten feet away from Levi on the other side of the hall. She was looking at you with regret and sadness. When your eyes met she began to sob immediately and within seconds she was engulfing you in a bone crushing hug, but still had the right mind to avoid touching your thigh. You slowly raised your own arms to close around her back, and, in the first time since becoming friends, you hugged her back and meant it. With a grip that rivaled Hange’s, you held onto Elke as if she would disappear, and you would be left with that stranger again. You didn’t realize how much you truly missed your friend until this very moment, and the thought of losing her brought a rush of your own salty tears to your eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll make it up to you and Levi,” she whispered after leaning her head onto yours. You felt her tears wetting your scalp, but you didn’t care. “I’ll lay my life on the line to protect you both. I swear it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You just squeezed her tighter, silently letting her know you heard.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>You and Levi decided to meet for tea. Even though he has finished his lessons, it felt right to meet up after the long and grueling day you had. It would be nice to just relax and unwind with a nice cup of tea, and sit with a friend who understood that silence isn’t a bad thing. Levi also seemed like he had something important to discuss with you, and you, being the nosy ass that you are, wanted to know what it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You met him in the empty mess hall. He already had the tea prepared and when you entered he began to filter the steeped tea into two tea cups. You had to hand the library keys back in after Levi finished his lessons, so it was closed to you two now, but thankfully Erwin convinced Shadis to let you two use the kitchen and mess hall for your meeting. You also planned on asking Levi if he wished to keep meeting for tea every night. This was something you had been meaning to talk to him about since before the exhibition. There was something about having him all to yourself for at least a couple of hours every night that brought you joy, but also made you feel a little selfish. Apparently, it wasn’t enough that you saw him everyday, shared a squad, and trained with him. It seemed the only thing you two didn’t do together was cleaning and that was because he was ridiculous and preferred to clean alone because he was the only one who could do it correctly. In his words, not your’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Point is; you personally asked Erwin if you two would be able to have nightly tea times in the empty mess hall, and he said ‘yes.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You walked over to sit next Levi as he finished filtering the tea and placed your cup in front of you. You thanked him quietly and then took a long sip of the tea. It was a tea you haven’t had before. It’s flavor was naturally sweet, hints of apple and honey. You and Levi never put sugars in your tea because, frankly, it tastes fucking disgusting. But this tea’s natural sweetness was enjoyable and it immediately made you feel calmer, and made your shoulders sag in relaxation. You released a quiet sigh after taking a large whiff of its scent. Even just the smell of it seemed to relax your mind even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What tea is this?” You asked Levi as you swished the liquid lightly to get a better look at its light brown color, and to release more of its mouth watering scent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chamomile,” he answered looking over at you. He could watch you inspect new tea flavors for hours and still be fascinated with the way you reacted in the smallest ways. He always knew you liked a new tea if you let out a sigh after the first sip. It brought Levi a sense of pride whenever he had you try a new tea and you ended up loving it. He was hoping this particular tea would help you relax and calm down a little. Chamomile was known to help with those types of things, and, to be honest, he could use that relaxation as well. Maybe he and you could get some more rest for once too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You released a soft hum that made Levi’s chest warm slightly before saying, “It’s really good, Levi.” He was still staring as you took another sip and then turned to meet his eyes with a small smile that made his stomach fill with butterflies. If only you knew how flustered you could make him feel, but, then again, maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. It would be embarrassing for you to know how you affect him. “Now, tell me what’s on your mind,” you abruptly asked as you placed your cup back on the table and gave him your full attention. “Ever since the forest you seem like you need to talk about something, so what is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi tended to forget how perceptive you have gotten since the Underground. He was going to tell you anyways, but you taking initiative was kind of- well, incredibly, actually- attractive. He started to feel his face flush and quickly took a sip of his tea to hide his face from your stare. You raised your eyebrows at him, trying to wait patiently, but some old habits just refuse to die.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Levi started. When he felt his face return to normal, he placed his cup down on the table as well, but held on to it just in case he needed an emergency sip. “That handkerchief...where did you get it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You looked at him with scrunched eyebrows. You were a little confused as to why he would bring that up. You thought he would want to talk about Elke with you, but it seems that he had something else on his mind. This also reminded you to clean the handkerchief later. Shortly after the Survey Corps returned, she gave it back to you. You tried to protest and say she could keep it longer, but she had insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It seemed far too important to you for me to take.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You couldn’t lie. It was very important to you. It had brought you hope when you had begun to see the world as a never ending nightmare. It also told you that there were people out there who actually cared, and not everyone was out to hurt and destroy you. It was bad enough that at such a young age you had learned about sexual desires and pain before you even learned about love and trust. Plus, the embroidered daisies were really pretty, and when you saw them for the first time in its true form, you cried. It was during the Training Corps. Hange thought you had a mental breakdown. You all laughed about it later though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don't really remember who gave it to me, but I think it was a young boy,” you almost laughed at the look of offense Levi gave you. You didn’t understand why he would be so offended from your vague observation, so you continued, “All I remember is getting beaten, someone stopping them, then I was sitting up and they handed me the handkerchief. I think I cried, but that’s pretty much it. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did they say anything to you?” He glanced away at the wall to avoid your curious stare before asking, “Like, ‘I know a strong kid when I see one?’”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The look of absolute shock you gave him was priceless, and he almost smiled wide, but refrained it to just a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was you?!” You nearly shouted, you were beyond surprised. Of all the people, it was Levi all along. “Hold on, though. You would have been- what- fifteen, right?” He gave you a slight nod as he began to take another sip of his tea. “But you sounded like you were my age! I swore you were a kid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You let out an amused huff at Levi when he almost snorted out his drink when you made the blunt and, frankly, insulting statement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck?” He scoffed as he gave you glare that only made you want to laugh harder. “I was still growing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You couldn’t hold it any more and began to laugh uncontrollably. You watched with satisfaction as Levi’s cheeks were painted with the slightest tint of pink that he tried to hide with a glare. His attempt at being angry with you only made you laugh harder. You were almost tempted to say that he never actually grew, but you knew he would just say that you didn’t either. It would have then begun a never ending cycle of who could make the other more mad, until you both gave up and called it even.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes of trying to calm your laughter and a few sips of tea you were finally sane enough to continue the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what does the ‘K’ stand for anyway,” you asked. This has been a detail that you thought would never be answered, but you finally knew who the mysterious savior was, and now you had the opportunity to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kuchel. My mother,” he breathed. You watched his face morph into that of remembrance and grief. You could only assume that his mother is long past. And seeing as he never mentioned her in the Underground, she must have died before you ever met him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You placed your small hand over his. He was gripping his tea cup tightly, but when your hand touched his, he slowly relaxed his hold and he swore his heart melted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to talk about it now,” you reassured, “By the way, if you want...I was given permission by Erwin to let us have tea every night. Not in the library, unfortunately, but we are allowed to sit in here again. Would you like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi looked up at your face again, and with a small unknown glint in his eyes he said, “I would like that very much. I’ve grown to like making tea with you, and I’m glad you feel the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” you grinned in return. Now you had all the time in the world to finally share more stories with each other, and maybe someday he’ll tell you all about his mother, and his life in the Underground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You two spent the rest of the night in comfortable silence, your hand still on his, and enjoying the tea that made you finally sleep for longer than two hours.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>A couple weeks after the unfortunate exhibition, Shadis stepped down as Commander and named Erwin the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps. It wasn’t a shock to everyone to hear that he had decided to take over the Training Corps as the head instructor. You honestly thought it was a great position for him. His face alone could terrify the weakest links and send them scurrying back home with their tails between their legs. You truly hoped that being away from the Scout Regiment would do him some good, and he would get a well deserved break from all the stress it had caused him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that responsibility was on Erwin’s shoulders, but you truly believed that he was perfect for this job. He would take the necessary precautions to help save humanity even if he had to leave his own behind. Something you never could do. Which is why you now released a scoff after Erwin asked you to be a squad leader. He just offered you the role of captain, but did you have to be a squad leader?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” you bluntly replied, which made Erwin’s mouth slightly turn up in amusement. He always appreciated your honesty. It was something he grew to respect in you, and a habit he had learned that Levi possessed as well. He also assumed you would react in this way, so he prepared a backup suggestion just in case. But he would humor you for a little before deciding to suggest it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May I ask why?” He looked at you intently with interest, clasping his hands together, and setting them down on top of his new desk in his new Commander’s office. You rolled your eyes at him- respectfully, of course.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir, with all due respect, I’m not willing to make decisions that could put others below me in danger,” you replied with a little more heat than intended. You looked up to this man, and you didn’t want to insult him, but, like always, he took your opinions with stride. Erwin never once scolded you for being honest with him, and sometimes wished you could tell him how much you admired him. He was so much stronger and smarter than you- he rivaled Hange, another person you really admired. You would follow them both blindly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” he began as he shifted slightly to show you he had more to say, “How would you feel about being Captain, but instead of having a squad I will have you work with other Squad Leaders- mainly Hange? Besides Moblit, you are the only one who truly understands how they will work and be able to assist them properly if needed. Also, you would be there to protect them because they tend to get in messy situations. I have another Captain in mind to partner you up with, but I haven’t promoted him yet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You took a moment to let his words sink in, and actually considered his proposition. You kind of thought that if you didn’t want to be a Squad Leader you could never be a Captain, but Erwin never ceased to surprise you. So it was no surprise that you fully accepted the role, but you still had one condition.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what’s that, (F/N),” asked Erwin after stating that very fact. He gave you an amused look, almost as if he already knew what you were going to ask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want Elke to be my only subordinate. My second in command in a way,” you ordered- politely. “This way I can keep an eye on her, and help her mentally progress. Plus, she has proven to me that she is changing, and I can trust her with my life, sir.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This last statement was true, and Levi agreed with you. Elke had taken her apology very seriously and treated you and Levi to a day trip to the nearby town. She spent the day pretty much bribing you, but the smile on her face pleased you more than anything else she had done. She bought you and Levi an array of new teas that you two couldn’t wait to try on your late night tea excursions. She even treated you to lunch at a local bakery that had the best bread you had ever eaten. There was a point where Levi wandered off, and Elke took that time to help you pick out a new casual blouse that you could wear on days off. It was your favorite color and looked incredibly comfortable. You also bought Levi a new cravat. He seemed to like that weird fashion piece, so you decided he could use a new one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Levi had rejoined the two of you, Elke took you to a small bookstore, and you all spent the rest of the afternoon poking and picking books that interested you. The day was pleasant, but really exhausting. It ended with Elke saying she was in your’s and Levi’s debt now, and would die to save you both. You tried to protest and say that it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted. If you hadn’t been so mentally exhausted, you might have tried to argue more, but you also knew that there was no way Elke would budge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You heard Erwin hum quietly in feigned thought after your suggestion. As you figured earlier, he most likely knew that you would ask for something like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as you are a Captain, I have no argument.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After today, you, Hange, Mike, and Levi became the new Captains of the Survey Corps. With a new office that featured an attached bedroom and bathroom, you finally had a space to yourself.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is for you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Captain</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” you teased Levi as you handed him the cravat you purchased for him. You had been waiting for a good opportunity to give it to him and, after you both being promoted, this seemed like the best time. “Thought a fancy man like you deserved a new one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He huffed in amusement as he gingerly took the cravat from you outstretched hands. You two had just finished steeping the tea and were now sitting in your office for your nightly tea. After being promoted, you and Levi decided to split having tea in each of your offices. You now watched with hidden excitement as he looked over the piece of cloth with wonder, and after giving it a thorough inspection- probably checking to make sure it was clean- he looked at you with a small genuine smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he breathed, “I actually have something for you as well.” After folding the cravat up neatly and placing it in his uniform pouch, he reached into his opposite pouch and pulled something wrapped in a brown cloth and handed it to you. “This is a thank you for helping me learn to read and write. You have no idea how much it means to me that you used your free time to teach me…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as you were holding the gift you noticed it felt like something round and smooth was hidden in the cloth. When you unwrapped it you were surprised to find a delicate golden chain and attached to it was a small flower preserved in a clear hardened type of thing. The flower was about as big as your thumb and it was a rich, beautiful violet color.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a necklace,” Levi clarified after silently watching you observe the piece of jewelry with unaltered interest. He had started to feel worried that you didn’t like it, but then remembered that you probably had no idea what it even was, so decided to educate you about normal objects again. “The chain was my mother’s, and when we went to town with Elke I saw the flower and thought you might like it. It’s a heliotrope- at least that’s what the lady called it. It’s trapped in something called resin. It will never wilt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You let out a light hum as you brought it closer to your face to observe the frozen flower more. Levi tried to slow down his overzealous heart as you kept staring at the necklace. You clearly didn’t hate it, but he was beginning to think that you didn’t like it. He felt his hands begin to sweat when you finally looked over at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s really pretty, Levi,” and then you gave him the widest smile he has ever seen on your face, and he swore he felt his head explode. “Do I wear it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After shaking his head slightly to try to get it to function again properly, he nodded. He reached out to the necklace to signal for you to hand it to him. With a little reluctance you delicately placed it in his palm. He then asked you to turn your back to him. You sat still as he reached around you and placed the small pendant on your chest as he pulled the two ends of the necklace to the back of your neck to clasp them together. He tried to keep his hands from shaking, but his breath labored when he brushed against the nape of your neck. You had kept your hair in a ponytail, so he didn’t have too much trouble with keeping it out of the way. But he saw you tense slightly when his fingers grazed your skin. You didn’t pull away like he thought you might, and he unintentionally let out a breath of release which gave you a chill down your spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘That was strange,’</span>
  </em>
  <span> you thought to yourself. This was a feeling you never felt before. Although, you never let anyone get this close to you- much less to the back of your neck of all places. But you couldn’t deny the slight thrill you felt as Levi’s hands touched you again. His breath on your neck was, in a way, calming. Levi’s presence was already lethargic to you, so this moment of quiet intimacy was kind of exciting.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>When Levi finally got the necklace to clasp together, he pulled his hands away slowly, already missing the warmth of your skin. With a small pat on your shoulder, he signaled that you could turn around again. When you spun in your chair you were looking at the pendant with the same wonder as before, and when you finally met his eyes, Levi felt his heart melt again. And when your lips smiled brightly and finally thanked him all his mind could think was, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘God, I love you.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>Well, it’s official. Part one of this Levi x Reader has concluded. Next chapter we skip five years and continue with the storyline!</p><p>This is the chapter that I was uber excited to write, by the way. We got a new gift from Levi, but this one has more importance! Does (F/N) understand its importance? Well, of course not haha!</p><p>I might be inserting short stories between main plot chapters of snippets from the past five years. They will be sort of one-shots, but they are within the storyline- you know what I’m saying? Let me know if that is a good idea, or if I should do what I have always been doing where I add “flashbacks” within the story itself.</p><p>Question Prompt:<br/>“Out of our favorite 104th Training Corps Cadets, who do you think will look up to (F/N) the most?”</p><p>As always, feel free to leave your thoughts and stuff or any theories you have! I’ll answer what I can, of course.</p><p>Hope you have a swell day and I’ll see you next week!</p><p>-DarthZannah 💖</p><p>P.S.</p><p>Thank you guys for the support on here. I am feeling much better, but seasonal allergies are still a bitch! I honestly wasn’t expecting this story to hit it off so well. It’s slow moving on Quotev, and Wattpad is a website I already dislike because of it’s system and searching for anything on there can be annoying...But I am now at 152 Kudos and a total of 73 Bookmarks (guests included). It just makes my heart sing that y’all like this story, and even though it started out rushed and mediocre- in my opinion- you guys stuck to it! Thank you so much! 😊😊💕💕</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Humanity's Protection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p>
<p>Happy Friday fanfic readers!</p>
<p>Time skip, time skip, time skip! What’s that? The 56th expedition? Okay! </p>
<p>More notes at the end!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah 💖</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Here they come! It’s the Survey Corps’ main force!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Riding through Trost on Hange’s right side, you looked around at all the positive faces of its citizens. It still made you immensely uncomfortable with all these eyes on you. In the past five years the shouts have not been as negative before an expedition, as it seems that the people who have lost their homes were more in support of the Scouts fighting to gain it back. Before Wall Maria fell, people called you all crazy and said it wasn’t worth the risk, but now that you all lived in fear of another breach, people were far more willing to show their support with cries of ‘heroes,’ ‘humanity’s hope,’ and other cheesy shit like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi, who was on Hange’s other side, looked just as stoic as always. He and Erwin had been praised the most out of the four leaders of the Survey Corps. Erwin being dubbed ‘Humanity’s Brightest’ after he has proven on multiple occasions his immense logic and forward thinking. It still surprised you when he was able to think so easily on the fly, and even with all the death on his shoulders he still fought for his dream where everyone could be free of Titans. Then there was Levi, being named ‘Humanity’s Strongest.’ If you earned a coin for every night during tea when he complained about someone calling him that, you would be able to buy all of Trost district by now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You and Hange liked to joke a lot about the name, often referring to him as ‘Humanity’s Shortest.’ Just seeing his look of utter annoyance with lowered lids and a large frown is enough to make you happy for another week. Granted he usually slaps back with, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re shorter than me, (F/N),” </span>
  </em>
  <span>with the most unamused face in existence, but you will always huff a response like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“By a few fucking millimeters, Levi.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, look! It’s Captain Levi, the strongest soldier alive!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The cry of the young boy all made you look over to see three teens looking at you all in awe. It made your stomach clench seeing their hopeful faces. You noticed they were wearing maneuvering gear belts over their clothing, and you immediately assumed they were most likely in the Training Corps. You zeroed in on the boy who yelled as he pointed at Levi with the largest smile. You couldn’t help but sadly sigh at him, knowing he had already made the decision to join the Scouts. At least you wouldn’t have to be in charge of him. He seemed like the loud type, and your point was proven when he began to yell again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hear that in battle he’s as strong as an entire brigade!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You snorted at Levi’s unimpressed glower.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Noisy brats…” he grumbled while still looking at the young boy. This made you release another snort, but it was shortened when the damn kid kept going.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And there is ‘Humanity’s Protector!’ She’s just as cool and has saved so many soldiers!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You felt your face flush at your title. Your smile vanished from your face as Levi smugly looked over at you as if to say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Now, who’s laughing.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>You gave him an unimpressed look in return as Hange started to giggle between the two of you. You rolled your eyes before glaring at them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Those kids and their envious looks…” they teased, “If only they knew how Levi is a complete clean freak, and (F/N) freaks out when dirt touches her skin- it’d burst their bubble!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You huffed and pouted at them for calling you two out. Feeling insulted, you turned your attention back to the front where Erwin was riding ahead of you three. Moblit and Elke were right behind you all, and Mike was a horse away on your right, riding along with Nanaba by his side. Out of all of your friends, you, Hange, and Levi have become the closest. Even though Levi would never admit it, you could tell he has grown fond of Hange as much as you. He also became one of the top supporters for Commander Erwin and fully trusted him. His dedication to Erwin reminded you of his friendship with Furlan, and you were beyond happy that he was able to grow in the Scouts and find his place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a fond smile on your face, you turned to look over at Levi and were shocked to see he was already watching you. When your eyes met, however, you watched in amusement as his eyes widened and abruptly turned away as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have. This made you giggle as you watched him school his features back into his normal, stoic expression. With a shake to your head you looked back ahead and followed those in front of you and slowed your horse to a stop in front of the gate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What you didn’t realize was Levi was internally monologuing ways to finally confess his feelings for you. He’s not exactly sure when he decided to get over himself and tell you, but he knew that if he didn’t he would regret it. Plus, Hange was annoying the shit out of him about it. Constantly asking him how his crush was going and when he was going to grow the balls, man up, and tell you. Usually the only thing that pissed him off was when they called it a mere crush. He would glare daggers at Hange whenever they referred to his undying love as a fucking crush. It was insulting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You have also been finally showing signs that you most likely felt the same way. Getting jealous of Petra for reasons unknown to Levi. Declining any and all plans if they interfered with tea time. Actually initiating physical contact yourself, and it not being incredibly awkward. He almost had a heart attack the first time you placed your hand on his bicep casually. Then there was Hange’s teasing. If Hange could see the changes in you, then Levi was confident that you were beginning to finally love him too. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The problem was if you knew or not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As the gate began to rumble open, Erwin turned his horse around to face his subordinates. You watched him take in a large breath before yelling, “The gate’s opening! From here on it’s territory! We’ll recapture the town that was stolen from us five years ago!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were some war cries, but you kept silent as usual. With a roll of your shoulders you prepared for the worst, and hoped that the 56th Expedition will have some progress for humanity.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So far the expedition has not been very productive. As of right now you, Elke, Hange, and the rest of her squad were following behind Erwin as he rode ahead gathering Scouts as he went. At the first village you reached, there was an abundance of Titans already around. It only brought more dread when you realized that they were all starting to head north towards Wall Rose. Together. Voicing this concern to Erwin, he immediately went into action. Yelling out orders to gather squads so they could start retreating back to Trost.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You lost count of the amount of Titans you had to take down to keep soldiers out of harm's way. Elke was close behind, making sure you didn’t kill yourself. Elke probably worked as hard as Moblit had to with Hange when it came to protecting ‘Humanity’s Protector.’ Plus, it never ceased to amaze Elke to watch you easily navigate between the buildings like it wasn’t even difficult. However, amazement turned to brief worry as she watched you race right to a Titan’s mouth, quickly grabbing a soldier from it clutches as you sliced through its fingers with ease. You rightfully assumed Elke was following close behind, and when you landed on the ground you watched her as she sliced open the Titan’s nape before it even began to reach for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once the Titan was taken care of, you turned a look to the soldier you just saved and realized it was Oruo. You immediately got a headache looking at the man who was younger than you, but everyone thought he was older than Erwin. He may have been talented, but his head was too big for his body, and he never knew when to shut up. Did you want him to die? No. Did he annoy the shit out of you? Yes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For a soldier on the Special Operations squad, I seem to have to save your ass a lot,” you scolded while crossing your arms as you stood before him. He was taking his sweet time getting up after he was dropped from the Titan’s clutches. He was sitting on his ass with his legs spread in front of him, while he leaned back on his hands. He looked around before scrunching his nose as he looked up at you. At least you knew Levi was nearby now. His squad was the last one you needed to retrieve before Erwin could gather you all to start heading back to Trost. “A thank you would suffice, you mushroom head.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grumbled an embarrassed and exasperated ‘thank you’ as he refused to meet your eyes again. It seemed the near death experience humbled him ever so slightly, but you knew that he would be back to his normal self as soon as he was in Levi’s presence again. You reached out your hand to him and helped him to his feet. By this time Elke had already landed next to you and was keeping watch in case any Titans popped out, but by the looks of it, you might have just killed one of the last ones left. The rest have already moved North, or have been killed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Levi? We all need to get back to Commander Erwin,” you asked when he was standing again. You gave him a once over to make sure his gear was okay, and if he was visually injured anywhere. For the most part, the bastard was unscathed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We separated a few streets over,” he answered as he dusted off his trousers and uniform, “He was with Petra last time I saw him, Captain.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You subconsciously twitched your nose at Petra’s name. You didn’t understand why your body reacted the way it did when you ever heard Petra’s name. She was a nice young woman, and she treated you kindly, but there was just something about her. Maybe you thought she was competition or something, but it was silly for you to feel slightly hostile towards her. You were the one to fully convince Levi to add her to his squad afterall. She may not have had a lot of solo Titan kills, but her assists were impressive, and you thought she would be a great fit for Levi’s squad. They needed a mother hen, and Petra was really good at keeping those idiots in line when Levi wasn’t around. So, it really confused you when you felt dread whenever you heard her name followed after Levi’s. It just never felt right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You cleared your suddenly dry throat before turning to Elke and ordering, “Right, let’s go get him.” You gave a glance to Oruo and told him to go meet the rest of the Scouts who were waiting in the Northern part of the village right before you attached to a nearby building and began to fly through the streets with Elke following above you. After a few minutes of searching you finally found him and Petra by a dead body, and Erwin making his way towards them from the opposite side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi!” Erwin yelled as you landed nearby with Elke right next to you. Levi spared you a glance and you could feel him checking to make sure you weren’t injured in any way. You nodded at him and Petra as a ‘hello.’ You felt your stomach turn for an unknown reason when Petra gave you a small smile. “We’re retreating!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Retreating?!” Levi answered in surprise before he immediately switched to annoyance at this new situation, “We haven’t even made it to the border. You mean my troops died in vain?” He lowered his eyes at Erwin who just kept his normal neutral expression. Erwin was never bothered by death. “I’m sure you have a good reason for this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You shuffled awkwardly next to Elke. She was watching the whole exchange in interest, like it was a professional play. She always was entertained when watching Erwin and Levi interact with each other. While you were always worried Levi would go a little too far with his whole ‘tough love’ approach. The two were definitely a strange and unexpected duo, but they worked well together.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The Titans are after the town! They’ve started moving northward as a group!” He met Levi’s widened eyes before continuing, “It’s just like five years ago, something’s happening in the town. They may have broken through the wall!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Returning to Trost wasn’t such an issue, but the view of the gaping hole really made your blood turn to ice. The damage was immense, and it made all the surrounding Scouts’ mouths drop open. There were too many Titans surrounding the opening of what used to be the gate. So, Erwin had no choice but to have his soldiers ditch their horses and scale the wall until they could use the lifts to retrieve them. Even though for the first few years you had your horse they were dubbed “Unnamed,” but a little over a year ago you finally decided to name it, Buttercup. You thought it was cute, but Hange liked to make fun of it. Whether it was a silly name for a horse or not, you didn’t like the idea of leaving your horse behind, but they made it this long. So a small bit of time apart couldn’t hurt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin ordered you all to the help clear out the Titans, except one that was carrying a large boulder. Apparently it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>helping</span>
  </em>
  <span> and was currently trying to plug up the hole in the wall. He also gave Hange approval to search for a Titan to capture. Once the wall was sealed it would be easy to keep them in. This now brings you to where you are now following a crazed Hange as she found two Titans that she wanted to experiment on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“(F/N), that area over there looks pretty clear,” Hange ordered as you two ran side by side over roofs of buildings, “I need to you come from that side and take out the larger Titan’s ankles. Moblit and the others will be waiting with our capture rope as I work on the smaller Titan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a nod as an answer you began to do as you were told with Elke following you as always. Unfortunately, Hange failed to notice a crawling Titan in between two buildings. Right before you passed the alley way, its large hand snatched out towards you. You jerked to the side as far as you could but you were hit. Hard.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dominant side of your body slammed hard in the opposite building of the Titan. You heard a large crack and numbness flowed through your arm. You managed to keep your head from hitting the brick wall, but you fell to the ground with a loud thump, landing on the same arm you heard crack. Elke screamed your name and killed the Titan before it could even think to start going to you. Once she landed she rushed to you and gingerly rotated you on your back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You felt tears spring to your eyes when the numbness started to flow away and all you felt was an intense pain from your shoulder all the way down to your fingers. You vaguely heard Elke asking you questions, but all you could do was grit your teeth and blink rapidly, trying to breathe through the pain. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you finally got enough air in your lungs to talk, all you said was, “Well, fuck.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p>
<p>What did y’all think? That silly Hange always puts us in danger! Our horse is now named. Buttercup is very loved.</p>
<p>Question Prompt:<br/>“Now that we know Levi’s changed thoughts about confessing to (F/N), when and where or how do you think he will confess to her/you?”</p>
<p>Some time this week I will be posting the first one-shot! It will be titled “One-Shot: Levi’s Scheme.” (ehehe I think y’all are gonna like it...the fluff will be immaculate.)</p>
<p>As always, feel free to leave comments and I hope you have a swell day! 👋👍</p>
<p>-DarthZannah 💖</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. One Shot: Levi's Scheme</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p>
<p>The first short one-shot is here!! It was supposed to be posted yesterday, but I got a migraine, so here it is today!</p>
<p>Remember, these one-shots are all little moments that occur during the five year time skip between the chapters, “From One Captain to Another” and “Humanity’s Protection.” (The years 845 to 850.) I won’t be releasing a one-shot once a week, so the posting for these will be a little sporadic. Think of them as little gifts from me to you. Little surprises, if you will. </p>
<p>I think my teeth rotted from all this sweet-ass fluff. Gonna need more pain in order to compensate…(ahaha just kidding...or am I? 😄)</p>
<p>Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter if you want to stay updated on posts! It’s @darthzannahfic! My move out date is coming up, so that means updates will be skipped once and a while!</p>
<p>Hope you have a swell day, and, as always, feel free to leave comments!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p>
<p>P.S.</p>
<p>It’s really not fair that the only time we see Levi shirtless is in a panel in the manga. Like, why didn’t they animate a shirtless Levi?! I don’t give a damn about shirtless and bound Eren, give me shirtless Levi, damn.</p>
<p>Also, the horses’ names. Wesley and Buttercup...you see what I did there? lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was a very stubborn man when he wanted to be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So, it was no surprise to find him refusing medical assistance for a cut that was- according to him,  “Just a scratch.” When, in fact, it was deep enough to require stitches and was in a spot that he couldn’t reach. Although- if you were being honest- it was a little entertaining to watch him squirming around when you entered earlier, trying to reach the large gash on the back of his left shoulder. It was becoming very difficult to not scold him for refusing to go to the infirmary. It just pissed you off that if the roles were reversed he would have carried you there himself if you had refused to go. Throwing you over his shoulder as if you weighed no more than a feather, and marching your down to the infirmary to be treated. This may or may not have happened on a few other occasions already.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like the infirmary is dirty,” you scolded as you inspected the large gash that started at the top of his left shoulder and crossed to the middle of his back. You had followed him to his office after returning from the expedition. He was acting weird the whole ride back, and you couldn’t help but notice the strange way he was sitting on his horse. He had been leaning so far over, you were sure he was going to fall off any minute. It was as if he was trying to prevent his cloak from lying on his skin. Like he was hiding something. And his poor horse, Wesley, was trying to keep straight. “Plus, the head nurse is actually pretty nice. She does a good job. I’m pretty sure Moblit has a crush on her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi snorted as you stood behind him. His arms were now crossed, his button-up shirt was still on and clinging uncomfortably to his back, stuck to the drying blood. He really wanted to shower, but he had planned on dealing with the cut before doing anything else. He didn’t expect you to show up after he entered his room, concerned and worried for him. He thought he did a pretty good job at hiding the fact he was injured, but apparently nothing went past you anymore. You have grown far too observant. Or maybe he wasn’t as smooth as he thought he was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m pretty sure he’s set on Four-Eyes,” he joked back as he shifted his weight to his right side, “Pretty sure the idiot will die for them.” He felt your hand brush against his back, making him momentarily freeze. He was still getting used to your touch. It wasn’t often, but every time he swore he stopped breathing. Levi knew his reactions were silly, but after years of knowing you, you had just recently begun to show care and affection for people close to you through touch. Returning the hugs Hange gave you, placing a reassuring hand on Elke and Moblit’s shoulders, and placing your hand on top of Levi’s during tea time. Even going as far as grabbing onto Levi’s arm, hugging it when you teased him. He never missed the almost feral smile Hange would give if they even caught a glimpse of that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After being in the Survey Corps for almost three years now, he was very thankful that he got to see first hand as you grew into a beautiful and caring woman. It was as if those three years apart never happened, and you two were able to connect on a more personal level than ever before. He still thinks back to the first night he and Furlan actually met you, and how closed off you were to them. He watched as you opened up to Furlan after a few months, and Levi felt his feelings grow for you, but you still stayed at arms length, never fully trusting him with your past. Levi watched as you and Furlan became like siblings, but Levi was always ahead, never really involved in your interests. But, finally, after all these years, he was feeling the connection he has been missing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was like the two of you were tied together by a thin string. At the beginning it felt like it was going to snap at the slightest inconvenience, but when you returned to him, it just kept getting stronger. The only way to separate the two of you now was if someone were to cut it forcefully, and even then it would be difficult. These romantic feelings may have been moving slowly- a Hell of a lot slower for you, it seemed- but the kinship you two grew was strong enough to make up for that, for now. Levi liked where this was going, and maybe someday you would share his feelings. But, for now, he would take what he got and try not to have a heart attack everytime you looked his way. He would always wait for you. He could be a patient man, but only for you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You may be right about that,” you sighed. Levi felt a chill roll down his spine when he felt your breath hit his exposed skin. He swore his brain stopped working for a second, but the sharp pain of his skin tugging as you pulled his shirt more made him wince and returned him to reality. “Shit, Levi. Sorry, but I need to seperate the shirt from the dried blood before you can even think of taking it off.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Wait, take it off?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he mentally questioned. Were you </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to take care of him yourself? Were you </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> willing to get your hands dirty? This was a new development for sure. The person who was known to outright deny helping with medical anything, was willing to help Levi with an injury? A bloody one to be precise?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re actually going to help me?” he asked, still in disbelief, but also hoping this wasn’t a fluke. If you were actually willing to take care of his injury, he had a few ideas to steal you to his side more often. It was a good thing you couldn’t see his face right now, because he was positive it showed all his emotions that he was too astonished to hold in right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Only because you’re being a stubborn ass, and you need help. So, I’ll suck it up and help you, idiot,” you answered- kindly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes of separating the shirt from Levi’s torso, you began to get to work. Levi appreciated how slowly and methodically you worked. You took extra time and care cleaning his wound, and, after making him sit down, took a large amount of time working on the stitches. You didn’t do this often, but you were very thankful for those lessons in medical care during the Training Corps. If you hadn’t actually paid attention, you would have fucked this up horribly. You were also mildly distracted with the fact that Levi was shirtless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not like you have never seen a shirtless man before. But it’s also not like you went around looking for shirtless men. If it were up to you, you would prefer if everyone would stay in clothes, but for some reason your heart was doing flips right now. All you could see was his back, but it was lean and muscular- like every other soldier in the Corps. So, why did your hands shake when you thought too much of the fact that it was Levi. The only reason you're helping him is because you trust him. He is one of your closest friends, so you would do anything for him. So, why are you reacting this way? Are you sick?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe it’s the blood,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>you dismissed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When you finally finished, you had Levi go take his shower before you put the bandages on. As he was gone you scrubbed your hands and made tea in his office’s kitchenette. You really liked the captain rooms you were given. The main room was the office and kitchenette. The room consisted of a desk with two sets of three drawers on each side. A large flat surface with plenty of room to work on the piles of paperwork Erwin assigned you all, and two extra chairs that sat in front of the desk for visitors. Each office had two bookshelves, and various oil lamps placed here and there. Plus, a small comfy couch right next to the wall of the office’s entrance. The kitchenette was placed on the right side of the office. It had a tap directly from the well, some counter space, and a small fireplace with a rod to hold tea kettles and pots.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The left side of the office held a door that led to the sleeping quarters. You don’t know about Levi, but all you had in there was your bed and a bedside table that held an oil lamp. There was also a closet in there, and a large chest very similar to what your dorms had. You never really used your bedroom because you hardly slept, and usually would find yourself waking up at your desk every morning from falling asleep while doing paperwork. Afterall, Erwin loves to give out paperwork.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Levi returned, the tea water had just finished boiling. You both decided to have the best tea tonight- black tea. After you finished filtering the tea, you walked over to Levi where he was waiting for you with the bandages and began to wrap him up. You felt your heart jolt again when your arms had to wrap all the way around him and you got awfully close to his skin with your face. You swore you felt him twitch every time as well. Once you were pleased with his bandaging, you grabbed the tea cups and placed them on the desk as Levi put on one of his casual shirts. You had to help him with his left arm, but he didn’t seem to mind your helping him at all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the night you two spent talking about everything that happened during the expedition. Apparently, a scout had gotten a little too close to him and sliced his shoulder while they were doing a Titan kill. The scout was pretty new, so Levi didn’t hold it against him. It still hurt like a bitch, though. You voiced your concerns, but thankful that nothing too bad happened, and were very thankful that Levi was alright.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi spent the rest of the night in masked excitement. What you didn’t know was that he now had a plan and he was very excited to execute it. For Levi knew that you would take care of him if he was injured now, so that meant that whenever he got injured he could use that excuse to get you close to him, and spend more time with you. It was probably a childish little scheme, but he didn’t care. As long as he got to see you get flustered while wrapping his wound up, he would bury his dignity to have you take care of him again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And thus began a new tradition between you and Levi.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Sonny, Bean, and Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello there!</p>
<p>Happy Friday fanfic readers!</p>
<p>The new chapter is here, and I hope y’all like it! Not a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but stuff happens, I guess.</p>
<p>See you at the end for more notes and the question prompt!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You vaguely remember being carried on Elke’s back as she rushed you to the nearest infirmary that was located in the Training Corps headquarters. At this point the pain was too great that you could barely keep your eyes open. And even though you attempted to save your head from slamming into the wall and the ground, you were still suffering from a large amount of whiplash. Your eyesight was blurry from tears, and you really wanted to fall asleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You might have actually hit your head after all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But no other pain you felt compared to the throbbing, insufferable ache you felt from your dominant arm. It’s like you could physically feel it growing in size, swelling within minutes. If you were in your right mind right now, you would have had the decency to feel ashamed of yourself. You were someone who was praised for saving others, but yet you didn’t see a damn Titan. You helped save soldiers from injury and death every expedition, but yet you couldn’t save yourself. It was embarrassing, and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and cry. Honestly, that would be better than having to deal with the fussing you were sure to suffer from Levi once he found out.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No. You were not looking forward to that. Not one bit. You would sooner listen to those damn wall worshippers rant about salvation than have Levi worry about you. Not to mention the seething glares he will send Hange, most likely blaming them for allowing you to get injured so badly. You were sure Hange never intended to get you hurt on duty, but this isn’t the first time she accidentally ordered you into a sticky situation. So far, within five years of partnering with Hange, you have sprained your right ankle twice, lost your left pinky toe, received quite a few head injuries, and lost count of how many new scars you gained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not counting the time they almost sliced your neck open when they got too close with the scissors they were using for your hair. That was the last time Hange was ever allowed near your hair. Levi was now in charge of your haircuts from that day forward. And it’s not like you blamed Hange for all the Hell they put you and Moblit through with their experiments and many attempts to capture Titans, but Hange really did put you through Hell. You still loved them, though. You're just worried you might die sooner than you thought. This moment being the closest you have gotten to that reality, of course.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t remember when Elke got you to the infirmary and you don’t remember passing out while she was carrying you. But as you flutter your eyes open now, the sound of a very familiar low, whispering voice scolding another person in a bland tone made you wish you had slept a little longer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was Levi. Of course, it was Levi. And you could tell he was beyond furious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi wasn’t much of a yeller as it is, but there was a way he spoke when he was mad that made you wish he yelled at you instead. When you two lived together in the Underground, he was a lot younger, and he was more aggressive with his tone of voice when he scolded you for being too reckless. However, as he has grown, his words have become more cutting and far more quieter. When he was mad about something he spoke to the receiver with a calm and even tone that made you feel a Hell of a lot worse than if he were to yell at you. Not to mention his normally stoic face would hold even less emotion, if that were even possible. The point is, he was absolutely terrifying when he was angry. The only people who didn’t run with their tails between their legs when Levi was like this was you and Hange.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange never takes Levi too seriously, but with how quiet they are now, you can’t help but realize how guilty Hange must feel right now. Hange wasn’t a quiet person, and would defend themselves if desired. If Hange wasn’t defending themselves now, that meant they felt incredibly, and utterly guilty. It meant they agreed with Levi’s scolding, and that they messed up. And even though you were the one with an unknown amount of injuries, you felt bad for Hange. It wasn’t all their fault. You were the one who let their guard down, and that ultimately led to a Titan getting the best of you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, thank the fucking walls, you’re awake!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When your eyes finally focused you noticed it was Elke who voiced your stirring. She looked so relieved to see you awake, and you watched as her eyes started to fill with tears. You took a second to get a bearing of your surroundings as your four friends fussed over you. You were definitely in the infirmary. One of the private rooms, thankfully. By the look of the window and the setting sun you guessed you had been passed out for a few hours. Not too bad considering your injuries. Your arm was thoroughly wrapped in a plain white cast, bent at the elbow, and a wrap all around your shoulders to keep it in place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You felt your forehead and realized that it too was wrapped in bandages all the way around your head. It felt like there was a slight bump on the side of your head, the same side as your broken arm. So, you did end up hitting your head. There must have been a lot of blood by the looks of the disposal bin. But that didn't surprise you, as you have learned, head injuries caused a lot more blood than other cuts in the body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange was on your left side standing, forcing themselves not to pace. Moblit was right next to them, and was holding a smile of relief. Looking at you with fondness. You tried to smile back, but it probably came out more as a grimace. You were still feeling aches from your injuries, and you were not looking forward to the healing process. Elke was at the edge of the bed, leaning heavily on the frame. Even though she was thankful that you were awake now, her brows were still furrowed with worry, and she kept glancing at Levi as if he was about to burst.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then there was Levi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was sitting in the visitor’s chair on the right side of your bed. He was leaning his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped under his chin. His brows were scrunched and jaw closed tight, grinding his teeth. He was silent and looking right at you, as if he was making sure you wouldn’t disappear. What shocked you the most was his eyes. His eye bags were more pronounced than normal, the rims were red, and they looked bloodshot. If you knew any better you would have thought he had been crying. But there was one thing Levi refused to ever do, and that was cry. He voiced that very fact to you many times.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“H-how are you feeling?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You returned your gaze to Hange. They looked so guilty, and you immediately felt bad for them. You never could stay mad at Hange for too long anyway. It was also heartbreaking to see the very constant and confident friend look so dejected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” you answered, forcing a reassuring grin, “I have a few aches, but not too bad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they didn’t look convinced, you reached out with your uninjured hand and they reached out to meet you halfway with theirs. You gave a more convincing smile and said, “Don’t blame yourself, Hange. I also let my guard down, I don’t blame you, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Hange began to give you a relieved nod and a smile of their own, the moment was ruined when Levi let out a scoff. You rolled your eyes, you were finally starting to feel like yourself- injuries included. You didn’t want conflict between your friends, but Levi didn't seem to want to drop the issue. When you turned to look back at him, he was leaning back against the chair with his arms and legs crossed. You couldn’t see his face because he was looking up at the ceiling. You watched his Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed, the sharpness of his jaw being accentuated by the stretch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, just practically shattered your arm almost to the point where you wouldn’t have been able to heal,” his voice dripping with sarcasm, but still holding that eerily calm and even tone that had cadets pissing their pants if directed at them. You sighed tiredly as he continued, “Oh, and the head injury? Just a fucking scratch, right? Nothing serious. Right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” he interrupted with a clip to his tone. He finally looked you in the eyes, his face still emotionless, but his eyes said otherwise. He was hurt and angry, and he wasn’t going to let you just brush this off. “This time it went too fucking far, and you know it. You were out for over 24 hours, (F/N). For fuck’s sake, I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>thought you weren’t going to make it. We were </span>
  <em>
    <span>worried</span>
  </em>
  <span>, damnit.” You watched as he rubbed his face with his hands in aggravation. It broke your heart to see how much stress you caused them. He was right, this was serious. Being passed out for 24 hours is not something to take lightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right,” you whispered, bringing your hand to your cast, fiddling with the edge and staring at your lap sadly, “But I don’t blame anyone but myself. If I had paid more attention this wouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry for making you guys worry…” After 26 years of living, you would think by now you would have everything figured out, but you still had much to learn. You still did reckless things, putting your life on the line for others. Levi had every right to be mad at you. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a few minutes of silence, Levi cleared his throat to get your attention. You looked back in his eyes. He looked a lot more calmer, but still pained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oluo wanted to thank you for saving him again,” he quietly relayed the message his subordinate asked to give earlier today when he came to visit, “Petra also made you tea, but I forced Hange and Moblit to drink it because we both know how bad she is at making tea.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This made you snicker. Even though Levi was a hard-ass, the man could always make you laugh. He always saved you from Petra’s shitty tea making skills, and passed on messages from Oluo when the bastard was too afraid to talk to you himself. Apparently he was as terrified of you as he was his captain. With the break in the tense atmosphere everyone slowly began to mingle together, and you finally had a genuine smile on your face once again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next morning you were finally released. You looked like a sorry excuse for a mummy, but at least you could still walk. At least in six weeks you could get the cast removed. If Levi wasn’t needed by Erwin, he was glued to your side, always there to help if you needed it. You were still partnered with Hange, and unfortunately that meant you had to meet the two Titans that you almost died for. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would like you to meet Sonny and Bean!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As all Titans, they were naked, large, and looking right at you. They were tied securely down, but seeing two Titans this up close without needing to kill them was a little weird. It was disturbing how humanoid they were up close. It didn’t help that Hange was standing in front of them as if they were showing off a brand new carriage they bought. Talking excitedly about all the experiments they have done so far, and all the other ones you’re “lucky” enough to assist with. You didn’t miss the complaint Moblit gave about having to save her from being eaten more than once already. Typical Hange shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With one arm there was only so much you could do. You helped Hange poke and prod at the Titans to see how they reacted to pain. The situation was pretty morbid, and you would rather put something out of its misery than toture it like this. Even if only one felt pain, it still felt wrong in a way. You couldn’t explain why though.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All the military brigades were currently on stand still, waiting on the Titan shifter, Eren, to wake up. He had been in a coma since he shifted back after sealing the breach in the wall. Erwin wanted to interview the boy before the military police could try to take Eren for their own plans. In order for Erwin to make a solid plan to get the boy under the Survey Corps protection, he needed to get some answers from the kid. Erwin voiced to you that there was going to be a trial held to determine the boy’s fate, and he put you in charge of keeping an eye on his two friends that would be attending the trial as witnesses. You understood that he meant you to be more as a mentor figure than an actual guard for two young trainees. But you didn’t have to meet them until the day of the trial, thankfully.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By the end pf the day and the amount of information you received, you were fucking exhausted, and bless Levi’s soul, he had tea already made for you by the time you finally made it back to your living quarters. He even snuck you some biscuits he took during dinner. At this point you were convinced Levi was the closest thing to perfection. You were so grateful to have him as your friend, and that he cared so much for you. You didn’t deserve him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was thinking the same thing about you as he watched you slowly sip from your tea awkwardly with your nondominant hand. He really couldn’t express how truly thankful he was that you managed to survive again. He tried to forget the hours he spent in his office crying softly when he wasn’t allowed to visit you. You never passed out from injury before and the whole situation absolutely terrified him. Your recklessness was sure going to make him age a lot faster than most people his age, but no matter how mad he got at you, he still loved you completely and wouldn’t want you any other way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So, yesterday, after you had dinner and started to rest again, Levi made the decision to tell you that he loves you after the trial and Erwin assigned roles. Levi knew that Erwin planned on having you, Hange, and himself work together if the Survey Corps managed to gain the Titan shifter. He wasn’t going to plan anything elaborate, but he had the perfect idea about when to do it. He was nervous as Hell, but if he didn’t do it, he would regret it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He loved you, and he was going to make damn sure that you knew.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p>
<p>It’s Sonny and Bean! I’ve missed those two, and Hange “cares” so much for them.  Levi is progressing on his plan to open up to (F/N), and that’s super exciting. Eren’s being a lazy-ass and sleeping in...Don’t hate me but I found Eren super annoying the first season, so when he got “killed” by the Titan I was almost relieved. I think I laughed and said, “So much for killing all those Titans…” I know, I know, my apathetic side is showing, but he really was annoying, I’m sorry haha! (Says the woman who is a huge fan of fucking Bakugou…)</p>
<p>Plus, at the time I was a HUGE simp for Jean before Levi grew on me, and I didn’t like the way Eren treated him. It really was like:<br/>Jean: *breathes*<br/>Eren: You have insulted my dead mother! Take this you horseface bitch! 👊</p>
<p>Question Prompt (a fun one, doesn’t have much to do with the plot):<br/>“If you could assign a spirit animal to (F/N), what animal would she be? What is your spirit animal? Are there any characters that remind you of any type of animals?”</p>
<p>My spirit animal is a cat, but my favorite animal is a sloth! I also love blue whales, turtles, and puppies (this includes old and baby puppies)! 😊</p>
<p>There will be no update next week as I will be finishing up packing and beginning to fill a U-Haul trailer, so don’t come at me with comments about where the updates are! (Also, not looking forward to having to type on my tablet for future chapters until I am able to find my own place because I have a desktop, not a laptop. 😭😭)</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I’ll keep y’all updated on my next update!</p>
<p>-DarthZannah</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Moving Update!!</h2></a>
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  <span>Hello there!</span>
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  <span>So, I finally made it to my destination around 1am today! I wish I could say there will be an update this week, but I can’t because I will be spending time with family I haven’t been able to see in YEARS and will be getting settled.</span>
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  <span>Something to look forward to in the next chapter is we get to meet Eren! There will be a little bit of fluff and stuff too! And note that I plan to have this story finished before the final season next year, so be prepared for spoilers if you are not caught up with the manga! 😊🥰</span>
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  <span>Also, I want to give y’all a huge thanks for taking the time to read this story. I love how interactive you guys are in the comments and your support is uber appreciated! We are now over 200 Kudos and surpassed 5,500 Hits! Thank you so much for the love. ❤️❤️</span>
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  <span>Hope you have a swell week, and hopefully I’ll have that new chapter for y’all next week!</span>
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  <span>-DarthZannah 💖</span>
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